Hermione finished her drink and lowered the can. "No thank you, I'm not evil."
The boy looked at her in surprise, as though he'd been expecting some other answer. "Well, I was speaking a bit rhetorically," he said. "In the sense of the Baconian project, you know, not political power. 'The effecting of all things possible' and so on. I want to conduct experimental studies of spells, figure out the underlying laws, bring magic into the domain of science, merge the wizarding and Muggle worlds, raise the entire planet's standard of living, move humanity centuries ahead, discover the secret of immortality, colonize the Solar System, explore the galaxy, and most importantly, figure out what the heck is really going on here because all of this is blatantly impossible."
That sounded a bit more interesting. "And?"
The boy stared at her incredulously. "And? That's not enough?"
"And what do you want from me?" said Hermione.
"I want you to help me do the research, of course. With your encyclopedic memory added to my intelligence and rationality, we'll have the Baconian project finished in no time, where by 'no time' I mean probably at least thirty-five years."
Hermione was beginning to find this boy annoying. "I haven't seen you do anything intelligent. Maybe I'll let you help me with my research."
There was a certain silence in the compartment.
"So you're asking me to demonstrate my intelligence, then," said the boy after a long pause.
Hermione nodded.
"I warn you that challenging my ingenuity is a dangerous project, and tends to make your life a lot more surreal."
"I'm not impressed yet," Hermione said. Unnoticed, the green drink once again rose to her lips.
"Well, maybe this will impress you," the boy said. He leaned forward and looked at her intensely. "I've already done a bit of experimenting and I found out that I don't need the wand, I can make anything I want happen just by snapping my fingers."
It came just as Hermione was in the middle of swallowing, and she choked and coughed and expelled the bright green fluid.
Onto her brand new, never-worn witch's robes, on the very first day of school.
Hermione actually screamed. It was a high-pitched sound that sounded like an air raid siren in the closed compartment. "Eek! My clothes!"
"Don't panic!" said the boy. "I can fix it for you. Just watch!" He raised a hand and snapped his fingers.
"You'll -" Then she looked down at herself.
The green fluid was still there, but even as she watched, it started to vanish and fade and within just a few moments, it was like she'd never spilled anything at herself.
Hermione stared at the boy, who was wearing a rather smug sort of smile.
Wordless wandless magic! At his age? When he'd only gotten the schoolbooks three days ago?
Then she remembered what she'd read, and she gasped and flinched back from him. All the Dark Lord's magical power! In his scar!
She rose hastily to her feet. "I, I, I need to go the toilet, wait here all right -" she had to find a grownup she had to tell them -
The boy's smile faded. "It was just a trick, Hermione. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."
Her hand halted on the door handle. "A trick?"
"Yes," said the boy. "You asked me to demonstrate my intelligence. So I did something apparently impossible, which is always a good way to show off. I can't really do anything just by snapping my fingers." The boy paused. "At least I don't think I can, I've never actually tested it experimentally." The boy raised his hand and snapped his fingers again. "Nope, no banana."
Hermione was as confused as she'd ever been in her life.
The boy was now smiling again at the look on her face. "I did warn you that challenging my ingenuity tends to make your life surreal. Do remember this the next time I warn you about something."
"But, but," Hermione stammered. "What did you do, then?"
The boy's gaze took on a measuring, weighing quality that she'd never seen before from someone her own age. "You think you have what it takes to be a scientist in your own right, with or without my help? Then let's see how you investigate a confusing phenomenon."
"I..." Hermione's mind went blank for a moment. She loved tests but she'd never had a test like this before. Frantically, she tried to cast back for anything she'd read about what scientists were supposed to do. Her mind skipped gears, ground against itself, and spat back the instructions for doing a science investigation project:
Step 1: Form a hypothesis.
Step 2: Do an experiment to test your hypothesis.
Step 3: Measure the results.
Step 4: Make a cardboard poster.
Step 1 was to form a hypothesis. That meant, try to think of something that could have happened just now. "All right. My hypothesis is that you cast a Charm on my robes to make anything spilled on it vanish."
"All right," said the boy, "is that your answer?"
The shock was wearing off, and Hermione's mind was starting to work properly. "Wait, that can't be right. I didn't see you touch your wand or say any spells so how could you have cast a Charm?"
The boy waited, his face neutral.
"But suppose all the robes come from the store with a Charm already on them to keep them clean, which would be a useful sort of Charm for them to have. You found that out by spilling something on yourself earlier."
Now the boy's eyebrows lifted. "Is that your answer?"
"No, I haven't done Step 2, 'Do an experiment to test your hypothesis.'"
The boy closed his mouth again, and began to smile.
Hermione looked at the drinks can, which she'd automatically put into the cupholder at the window. She took it up and peered inside, and found that it was around one-third full.
"Well," said Hermione, "the experiment I want to do is to pour it on my robes and see what happens, and my prediction is that the stain will disappear. Only if it doesn't work, my robes will be stained, and I don't want that."
"Do it to mine," said the boy, "that way you don't have to worry about your robes getting stained."
"But -" Hermione said. There was something wrong with that thinking but she didn't know how to say it exactly.
"I have spare robes in my trunk," said the boy.
"But there's nowhere for you to change," Hermione objected. Then she thought better of it. "Though I suppose I could leave and close the door -"
"I have somewhere to change in my trunk, too."
Hermione looked at his trunk, which, she was beginning to suspect, was rather more special than her own.
"All right," Hermione said, "since you say so," and she rather gingerly poured a bit of green pop onto a corner of the boy's robes. Then she stared at it, trying to remember how long the original fluid had taken to disappear...
And the green stain vanished!
Hermione let out a sigh of relief, not least because this meant she wasn't dealing with all of the Dark Lord's magical power.
Well, Step 3 was measuring the results, but in this case that was just seeing that the stain had vanished. And she supposed she could probably skip Step 4, about the cardboard poster. "My answer is that the robes are Charmed to keep themselves clean."
"Not quite," said the boy.
Hermione felt a stab of disappointment. She really wished she wouldn't have felt that way, the boy wasn't a teacher, but it was still a test and she'd gotten a question wrong and that always felt like a little punch in the stomach.