Hater

    'Great,' I grunt. 'No food yet and I can't hear myself think.'

    Ellis reaches across the table and tugs at my sleeve.

    'Don't do that,' I snap.

    'When's dinner coming?'

    'When it's ready.'

    'When will that be?'

    'I don't know.'

    'Just be patient,' Liz tells her. 'As soon as they've cooked it someone will bring it over to us.'

    'I want it now,' she states, not interested in any excuses or explanations. 'I'm hungry.'

    'We're all hungry, love. As soon as it's ready they'll bring it over to us and…'

    'Want it now,' she says again.

    'Did you hear what Mum just said?' I hiss at her, my patience rapidly wearing thin. 'Just shut up and wait. Your dinner will be here when…'

    I stop talking. Smashing glass. There's a sudden roar of noise from deep within the crowd around the bar. I stare into the mass of faded denim and football shirts looking for trouble. I can't see anything. I'm relieved when I can hear laughs and jeers amongst the noise.

    'What's up?' Lizzie asks me.

    'Nothing,' I answer. 'Can't see anything…'

    A very drunk, beer-soaked football fan staggers past our table on the way to the toilet. A member of the bar staff carrying a dustpan and brush passes them going the other way. Looks like it was a spilled drink, nothing more serious.

    Our food finally arrives. My mouth starts watering and my stomach is growling but I can't eat yet. Another one of the joys of parenthood. Josh is sitting next to me and I now have to go through the well-rehearsed routine of cutting up his dinner and smothering it in tomato sauce before I can start mine. Both Liz and Ellis are well into their meals by the time I finally manage to pick up my knife and fork.

    'Is it all right?' she asks me before I've finished my first mouthful. Christ, give me a second to taste it first.

    'Fine,' I answer. 'Yours?'

    She nods and chews.

    For a blissful minute or two the table is quiet. The rest of the pub is still filled with noise but with everyone temporarily distracted by their food there's a welcome pause in our conversation. It doesn't last long.

    'I want to go and see Dad tomorrow,' Lizzie says. 'That all right with you?' I nod my head as I eat. I'm not surprised. We seem to end up over at Harry's house most Sunday afternoons. We see him virtually every day now since he agreed to look after Josh so that Liz can go to work. She's a classroom assistant at the school Ed and Ellis go to. Harry's not happy about it but he does it because he knows how much we need the money.

    'Okay,' I answer, finally swallowing my food, 'we'll go over in the afternoon.'

    'He's been really good to us recently,' she continues. 'I don't want him to think that we're just going to keep taking.'

    'Like your sister does?'

    'Leave Dawn alone. She's been struggling since Mark left.'

    'Best move that bloke ever made,' I say, perhaps unfairly. 'She struggled when they were together. She'll struggle whatever happens.'

    'Come on, don't be unkind. It's not easy for her being on her own with the kids. I don't know how I'd cope.'

    'You'd just get on with it. You'd find a way of getting by, we both would. The problem is your sister is too quick to look for the easy option all the time. What she needs is someone to…'

    A sudden, unexpected and very loud clattering noise interrupts me. It's Josh. He's dropped his fork on the floor. I bend down and pick it up before cleaning it on a paper napkin and passing it back to him.

    'What she needs,' Lizzie continues, taking over where I left off, 'is some space and more time to try and come to terms with what happened and what he did. She didn't deserve any of it. You can't do that to someone and then just expect them to…'

    'I'm not saying she deserved anything, I just think that…'

    Another clatter of metal on floor tile. I pick up Josh's fork for the second time, clean it and pass it back. He grins at me.

    'All I'm saying is that…'

    Josh drops his fork again. Now I'm really starting to lose my patience. I pick it up, clean it and slam it down on the table next to his plate. He squeals with laughter. Irritating little sod.

    'Do that again and we're going home,' I threaten.

    'Just ignore him,' Lizzie says, still managing to eat her food. I've hardly touched mine. 'He's only doing it because he's getting a reaction from you. The more you react, the more he'll do it.'

    I know she's right but it's hard to keep calm. I try and concentrate on my dinner but I can feel Josh staring at me, desperate to make eye contact. I cringe as the fork hits the ground again. I know I shouldn't but I can't stop myself from reacting. I grab the fork off the floor and hold it in front of him, just out of his reach.

    'Fork…' he whines.

    'Danny…' Lizzie warns.

    'Do you want to go home?' I hiss at him through clenched teeth. 'Or do you want to finish your dinner first? If you do that again we're going.'

    'Daddy might buy you an ice-cream if you finish your dinner,' Liz says.

    'I might not,' I add quickly. 'Bloody hell, I've spent enough already. I can't afford to keep…'

    There's another interruption from the crowd of football supporters. I wish they'd shut up, selfish bastards. More noise. Nervous, uncertain noise. This doesn't sound good. No-one's laughing this time. I turn round just in time to see a section of the crowd part as a squat, bald-headed and tattoo-covered man is charged across the room by another fan who seems to be about twice his height but half his weight. They've smashed into a table where another family was eating. People are up off their chairs and are scattering in all directions.

    'What are they doing?' Ellis asks innocently. 'Are they playing or fighting?'

    The two men are stood up again now and I'm praying they don't come any nearer. The thinner man holds the tattooed man by his jacket and he's swinging him around. He tries to grab hold of something to steady himself but the thin man's not giving him a chance. He lets him go and then runs at him and shoves him in the chest, sending him tripping backwards. Another hard shove and this time the tattooed man is pushed so far that he ends up flat on his back on another table not far from where we're sitting. Half-empty plates, cutlery and glasses are sent flying. I grab hold of Josh and I look around and see that Lizzie has done the same with Ellis. The clattering, crashing and smashing noise quickly fades away and is replaced by a heavy and uncomfortable silence. Everyone is watching the fight but it's so sudden and so violent that no-one dares to get involved. Everyone knows they should do something but no-one's moving.

    'Don't, mate…' the man lying on his back on the table cries nervously. 'Please don't…'

    The thin man looks around. Holding his victim down with one hand he searches through the debris on the table and picks something up. It's only when he holds it up above his head that I see he's got a steak knife. The next few seconds seem to last forever. I don't want to watch but I can't look away. He brings the knife thumping down on the tattooed man's chest and sinks it into his flesh. But that's not enough. His fist already covered in blood he yanks the blade out then stabs it down again and again and again…

    Fucking hell.

    Christ, we have to get out of here. We have to move. This bloke's out of his mind. What if he turns on the rest of us? The hundreds of people crammed into this overcrowded pub have started to panic and are heading for the exits, running from the two men in the middle of the room. The thin man is still shredding the other man's chest with the sharp, serrated blade. The tattooed man's arms and legs are thrashing and even from this distance I can see that the table and both men are covered in blood.