Theo had returned.
I swung the bars closed, then moved in a rapid animated silence. I wanted the room to appear as if nothing had changed.
IT WAS LUCIA at the door, not Theo. When she entered, I was on a folding chair facing her, my hands behind my back. Tie wraps were looped around my ankles. Hopefully, she wouldn’t notice how precariously the ties hung there.
Not to worry-the woman was too stoned to do anything but gloat, then get down to business. The bamboo tube she carried, though, was a constant worry. It was longer than expected, tipped with a wisp of a mouthpiece.
“Hannah-Hannah, the man killer,” Lucia chided as she approached, voice syrupy. A shapeless black dress-no, it was a robe that caught air near her sandals. “You don’t really think I’ll let them hurt you, do you, dearie?”
I said, “That’s a wise choice. Police will go easier if you don’t.”
“Quite the tough little lady, aren’t we?” Her smile vanished. “That’s not the reason. I’m protecting you because we’re going to make a deal, just you and me… dearie.” She stopped several steps away and gripped the bamboo, her fingernails glossy red. “Theo’s a total nutcase, no argument. But he’s pretty good in bed. And I’ve got enough tapes and video to send him to the electric chair, if I want. Do you understand the power that gives me?” She reached to lean against the desk… misjudged the distance but finally found the desk with her hand.
I asked, “What do you have in mind?” but was wondering, Where did she put the key? Lucia had locked the front door before crossing the room. No purse, no visible pockets, and she hadn’t left the key in the lock. It had to be on her somewhere.
Stoned or not, the woman was shrewd. She noticed me eyeing her robe with its waist belt and hood, a white peasant blouse beneath. “What are you looking at?”
I said, “Truthfully? I’m scared to death. But it’s the same thing I wondered about last night when we met: how a woman your age stays in such good shape. Weird to be thinking that now, I know, but you asked.”
“A little manipulator,” she decided, but sounded pleased nonetheless. “What I’m telling you is, Theo is not going to jail over some little redneck tramp. What’s it matter that she died tonight instead of next year in some bar or truck stop? I don’t give a shit about his filthy monkeys either. Are you kidding? With their fleas and constant jacking off, and that female with her disgusting pink bows and collar. I’d love to see them dead. Hmm. Maybe we can work that into our deal.”
I held my tongue while Lucia paused to realize, Yes, that’s a possibility. Then said, “Theo is useful. When I tell him to do something, he does it. And that includes favors that would make you blush-you’re such a pious little creature, aren’t you? What I would miss a lot more is the ten thousand a month he pays me not to turn him over to the law. Young cocks don’t grow on trees and I own his.”
I said, “You don’t have to worry about me. I won’t-”
“Shut up. Theo’s very upset that you and the old man found the boat or whatever it is. So you’re going to give him the journal, explain the code or whatever bullshit he keeps babbling on about. You see, honey, all men are just boys and boys like to hunt for treasure. Do that-and a few other favors-and he’ll have no reason to argue when I tell him not to kill you.”
I wasn’t going to ask why a sunken canoe was important, yet she held up a hand to silence me anyway. When she did, I let my anger slip. “Sheriff’s deputies should be here any minute. Take your time.”
“No, dearie, they won’t. I have your phone. Twenty minutes ago, you called nine-one-one and canceled the emergency call you made. Then you sent a text to our little friend, Liberty Tupple-meyer. Want to guess what you wrote? Oh-and I happen to know that Liberty works in the morning. Between now and tomorrow night, all sorts of ugly things could happen to you. Carmelo, for instance. Or the monkeys. Theo says you saw what his big bastard-Ollie, for christ’s sakes-what he did to the girl. Was it bad?”
I felt my ears coloring.
“Yes,” Lucia said, “I can see that it was. Lucky for her it wasn’t that disgusting female chimp-females, we’re always tougher on our own sex. I read a study. First thing a chimp does is bite off a woman’s nose, then her lips. The genitals go next. You know-eliminate the competition.” The woman sweetened her threat with a knowing smile while her fingers massaged the bamboo tube.
Her superior tone was grating. It matched the expression on her face. I wanted to lunge from the chair and grab her. I might have done it, but then what? If she didn’t club me unconscious with the bamboo, I’d have to tie her before I searched for the key-or risk that the second door was unlocked.
That was my excuse. But the real reason was fear. So far, I believed Lucia’s claims: Theo and Carmelo were under her control. She alone could spare my life. I didn’t want to die. It was wiser to listen.
“What do you want me to do?”
“Work with me. You’ll make more money than you ever imagined and here’s how.” Lucia checked the security screens-Theo was still in the kitchen-then moved closer. “Liberty’s aunt, Bunny Tupplemeyer-the old lady’s worth two hundred million dollars. Possibly more. And she’s very fond of you both.”
My theory about Bunny’s astrologician had just been verified. Yet I had to ask an obvious question to appear confused. “Do you know her?”
“I link paranormally to special people,” she reminded me, “and Bunny’s money makes her very special. She’s a sad old woman dying of lung cancer. Did you know? No… of course not. Well, here’s the thing: Bunny believes you came into her life for a reason. That you might be her rescuing star. The zodiacal term is a transect connection. It offers the hope of soul migration, which I don’t expect you to understand. Think of it this way: the old lady is hoping your spirits have so much in common that she’ll hitch a ride into your future.”
“After she’s dead, you mean?” I asked the question well aware that Lucia, the witch, might also be Mrs. Tupplemeyer’s astrologician. “What happens to her soul isn’t up to me or our horoscopes. You believe what you want.”
Lucia’s reaction: How sweet. “Offend your Sunday school convictions, did I? A star chart is just number crunching and numbers don’t lie. The trans connection thing is true. Bunny knows it’s true. She’s a self-important old bitch, but she’s not stupid. That’s where you come in, Hannah-Hannah. You’re going to convince Bunny not to back out of the real estate deal. Instead of putting her million dollars in escrow, she’s going to sign a check. And keep right on signing them.” Lucia’s green eyes brightened, she stood a little taller and fluffed her robe, while her attitude dared me to refuse.
A lot of things went through my mind: Mrs. Tupplemeyer’s attorney saying, She took advice from the wrong people. At the very least, Lucia and others were skimming money from investors. More likely, the whole investment scheme was a fraud. I couldn’t put it all together now. But if playing along saved my life, I would do it. Giving in too easily, though, would be a mistake.
“I’m not in the habit of cheating people,” I replied. “If I do this-I’m not saying I will-how much are we talking?”
Lucia liked that. “Greed.” A nod of approval. “Any other vices you’re willing to share with me tonight? Don’t answer. If Bunny comes through with the million, let’s say… well, how does a hundred thousand sound?”
She was lying. I knew it but managed to appear interested. “That’s a lot of money.”