“Jake, the story your father was working on had to do with an experiment I was involved with at the base. You see, it wasn’t an ammunition depot at all, it was a research facility.” Mossy watched carefully for any reaction from Jake. He seemed to be listening but he was as focused on his drink as he was on the story. “Jake, we were working on using DNA to alter the genetics of living creatures, to create new species.” Jake continued to stare at his drink, but Mossy caught a darting eye movement and a furrowing of Jake’s brow. He was getting through. He glanced around the bar, making sure nobody was in earshot before continuing. “It worked, Jake. We created a new life-form; part mammal, part reptile… it was an abomination.”
Jake was shaking his head back and forth, slowly at first but starting to get faster. A mewling sound escaped his tightly-closed lips. “No…”
Mossy plunged forward. “Jake, listen. We were scientists but we were playing God. We fucked up…”
“No!” Jake smashed his glass on the table, burying shards into his palm and slashing his fingers.
The bartender stared over, one hand under the bar, no doubt reaching for a bat, or a gun. “Problem over there?”
Chris jumped up and approached the bar. “No problem, just a little accident. Can I have some towels to clean it up, and a couple more drinks?”
The bartender continued to stare over at the booth, trying to figure out if whatever was going on was worth the price of a couple of drinks. It was. He handed Chris some paper towels and started making the drinks. Chris brought the towels over and started cleaning the mess. Mossy helped Jake get the glass out of his hand and wrapped it tightly with paper towels. “He’s going to need stitches.”
Chris nodded, then went back to the bar top grab the drinks. When he returned, Jake took one in his good hand and downed half of it in one desperate gulp. He knew what was coming.
“Jake, I know what killed the boy at the lake that day. There was nothing you could have done. You were lucky you weren’t killed yourself.”
Tears meandered down Jake’s face and his mouth turned into a humorless smile. “You call this lucky? Spending my days trying to forget the unforgettable? Spending my nights trying not to dream? Some luck. I wish it was me that day at the lake, I can’t live like this.” His eyes held the desperation of a man standing on the ledge of a building, willing someone to give him a reason not to jump.
Mossy reached out and grabbed his arm as he started to raise the drink to his lips. “Jake, what did you see? Please, if you tell me, I think I can kill it. Maybe if it’s dead, and you know it’s dead, you can try to move on.”
Jake looked at him with an expression of such emptiness that Mossy knew it wasn’t possible. “I glimpsed Hell that day. Does that help?” Then he downed the rest of his drink. “Can I get another one?”
Mossy took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. “Jake, listen, I know what you’re feeling. Because I’ve been feeling it for over thirty years, trying to drown it just like you are. And for me, it wasn’t one kid I couldn’t save, it was… I don’t even know how many.”
Jake raised his eyes from his glass to meet Mossy’s and in those eyes Mossy saw turmoil. There was a battle going on in there, alright. The old Jake, from before the incident, wanted to spill it all, just open the floodgates and finally let every bitter memory, every ounce of guilt, flow out of his mouth with his story. The new and improved Jake (just add alcohol!) wanted to have a couple of more drinks, maybe more than a couple, until the memories and guilt slid beneath the surface of the booze for another day. “I’ll tell you what I saw on one condition. If you don’t agree to it, I will never speak of it to anyone. I will sit here and drink until I pass out. I’ll do that every day until death puts me out of my misery.”
Mossy met his gaze. “What’s the condition, Jake?”
“I’m going with you to kill it. Whatever your plan is, I’m in. This is not negotiable.”
Mossy didn’t blink and the lie came easily and convincingly as he slowly nodded his head. “Fair enough, Jake. As long as you know the stakes going in and that it’s a long-shot that either of us comes out alive.”
Jake sat back in the booth with a wry smile. “I’ve known the stakes since that day at the lake. And what I’m doing now isn’t living anyway. Chris, please go get me another drink, storytelling can be thirsty business.” Chris smiled, a real smile, and got up to go to the bar. Jake grabbed his arm on the way by. “Make mine what he’s drinking, I’ve got to get my head clear if I’m going to be killing monsters.”
Chris put his hand over his brother’s and squeezed. “You got it, Jake. Two ginger ales and a beer for yours truly.”
When Chris returned with the drinks, Jake’s bravado was short-lived as he began to relate his story for the first time.
“As much as I’ve tried to forget that day, no matter how much booze I drink, I can’t. I tried pot, too, but it didn’t help. I guess I’m too much a coward to try anything stronger. Or maybe I just know how easy it would be to take too much of that stuff…” He paused, a frighteningly wistful look haunting his face, “Anyway, there are days I can’t remember my own name when I open my eyes in the morning, but that day is as clear in my head as it was when it happened. It was hot, so hot all summer. Just like it is this year. No rain, no cool breezes, just heat and humidity. And dead kids.” He took a sip of his drink, grimacing when he realized there was no alcohol in it.
He turned his gaze to his brother. “By the time you and Lori went over to the rocks, I was shitfaced. I don’t think you or Lori had any idea just how drunk I was, otherwise you wouldn’t have gone.”
The implication hung there, an overripe piece of fruit left festering for so many years. Mossy couldn’t tell if it was accusation or Jake’s attempt to ease his brother’s conscience.
“As soon as you guys were gone, my eyes started closing. I slurred something to Kevin about staying out of the water until you got back, then I stumbled over to a patch of shade, sat back against a rock, and passed out. ’Cept I wasn’t really passed out. I felt so tired that I couldn’t move, but I wasn’t asleep either. I could hear you and Lori playing grab-ass over at the rocks; I remember being a little jealous, she was such a pretty girl. I was planning on sneaking over there to see if you could talk Lori out of her bikini, and I could catch a glimpse, but I was just so damn tired.” A shy smile played at the corner of Jake’s mouth and Mossy could picture him before this happened, a young, good-looking kid with his whole life ahead of him. Wanting nothing more than a peek at his brother’s girlfriend’s tits. Tears were starting to leak from Chris’s eyes and Mossy suspected he was thinking the same thing. What could have been. The vise-grip of guilt tightened around Mossy’s heart.
“Kevin and Willie were fishing, but I could hear them whispering. They were thinking about going in for a swim after all, but were afraid I would be pissed if I woke up. I could hear all this, but I couldn’t find the strength to open my eyes and tell them not to go in until you and Lori got back. Willie… he was kind of a hard-ass for a little kid… he came right over to me, close enough that I could feel his breath on my face. ‘Jake, can you hear me? Jake the snake, you old fart-sniffer, you awake?’ He actually called me an old fart-sniffer. Man, the kid had some balls. Next thing I hear is him telling Kevin that I was out cold and then the two of them splashing into the lake.” He wouldn’t raise his eyes, and he took another desperate gulp of his drink, but it was still just ginger ale.