"Yes." My voice was pretty shaky, and sweat broke out in all the uncomfortable places. For a second I thought I was about to pass out.
"Do you need more time to consider your decision?"
"No."
"Very well. This is a complex situation because the woman is pregnant. I will have to get approval from management." Her head tilted for a second, then her eyes flashed. "Approval granted. Lewis McKnight, your residency will be reassigned to Sally Hernandez upon signature of the transfer form." She gestured to the holographic screen.
Heart pounding, I signed the document.
"Thank you! You will now be escorted off the premises. Have a great day."
She turned her attention to the next person as a pair of beetle-black androids arrived to hustle me out the building like the unauthorized person I just signed up to be. The residents in line stared at me like I was some feral animal, but I didn’t care. For some reason, a big, stupid grin spread across my face. It's hard to explain. It was like for the first time I finally did something on my own terms.
"Wait. Please wait."
The guards paused, allowing Sally Hernandez to approach. Tears streamed down her face, but her smile was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I had no idea why I had thought she was plain-looking. She wasn't. The joy that shone in her eyes practically made her face light up when she stepped up and hugged me, sobbing against my chest. The androids didn't seem to know what protocol to follow, so they stood there as uncomfortable as synthetic beings can be.
"Why would you do this? Why give away your place in the Haven to someone you don't even know?"
I shrugged, feeling really uncomfortable with everyone stopping to stare at us like some reality TV show. Some of the gawkers even started filming with their phones. I was pretty sure the news would be trending in a matter of seconds.
"Just… felt like the right thing to do." I took a quick glance around and decided to just go for it since I was a public spectacle and all. The old man's words rolled off my tongue like I rehearsed them. "You're the future now. You can be anything you set your mind to. Don't waste that chance. Don't let it all be for nothing."
"I won't. I promise." She gripped my hands so tightly it hurt. "What is your name? Please, I want to name my son in honor of the man who saved his life."
I felt tired all of a sudden. Like one of those miserable helium balloons that sagged close to the ground, just waiting to deflate. Plus I felt ashamed about repeating what the old man told me. He was probably back at home, spitting out his dentures when he saw the news.
"Carton. My name is Sydney Carton."
"Thank you so much, Sydney. I can never repay you for your kindness. I will be sure to tell my son about what you did for us."
The service androids finally swept in to separate us. They pulled her to the orientation line while the guards pulled me toward the exit. No one was more relieved than I was. I mean, I felt pretty good about transferring my residency and all, but all the crying and looking at me like I was some kind of hero was more than I could take. At least it was over. At least I could say I did something worthwhile. Like the old man said, that's what it was all about in the end.
It is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known…
7
I spend those last few months hiding out. Just like I thought, my 'sacrifice' became the feel-good story of its time, treated like some shining beacon of hope in a world of darkness and all. Everyone wanted to tell me about what a great guy I was and the great example I was setting for how to conduct ourselves even in the face of catastrophe. It even started a trend, people just giving up their picks when their names were selected. They called it the 'Sydney Carton clause' because it didn't take long for people to pick apart the whole transcript of my act and realize where the name I gave Sally came from. Guess I wasn't as clever as I thought.
It took the better part of a year for the Havens to finish completion and seal themselves off with energy shielding, then a few months after that before the Cataclysm finally came roaring down. Talk about taking your time. Damn forecasters couldn't get anything right.
I took to squatting in abandoned houses after they left the city. It was a beautiful kind of lonely, just me and my thoughts. I pretended I was a ghost, wandering through the remains of civilization. I'd stay at a different house every day, taking voyeuristic delight in rummaging through the lives that people left behind. So many precious things abandoned because at the end, they had no value.
Most of the houses still had water and electricity because nobody cared to manage the utilities anymore. So I was able to keep up on the countdown to the forecasted day when all hell was supposed to finally break loose. The entire city was hushed, burrowed in whatever shelters they had constructed or could find. I imagined the crowds huddled together in the downtown compound and was glad I wasn't there with them. Poor Randal. I hoped he and his family had found an alternative.
I woke up on Doomsday morning and decided to take a hike. I stuffed a backpack with water and snacks and walked out into the last dawn.
The sky was smothered in tendrils of purplish-black substance that definitely weren't clouds. I figured they were the veins of some gargantuan apocalyptic beast about to manifest itself, but my imagination has always been a little wild. There wasn't a soul visible in the entire neighborhood. I was kind of glad in a way. With my luck, I'd probably run into some nut in a clown costume eating a kid's leg or something.
Everything was deadly quiet. The birds had flown off a while ago, along with any pets left behind. Animals always did have more sense than people. The only audible noises were my shoes scuffing across the concrete. Smoke billowed in the direction of the city. It looked like San Bernardino was set on fire. I guessed the Haven had finally pulled by their peacekeeping androids, allowing people to finally go mad any way they pleased. Spending your last hours embracing family or in prayer vigils wasn't for everyone, after all. Some people wanted to go out in a blaze, a final defiant storm of violence and unbridled rage.
Fortunately, I went the opposite direction. A few months back I'd taken a solo hike to the nearby mountains and decided to climb. No trail, no beaten path, just straight up. I walked and clambered for hours until I reached the low-hanging clouds that shrouded the mountaintops. When I looked around, I couldn't see the houses below or the city beyond. I couldn't see anything except the patch of rocks and grass I stood on and white, misty clouds surrounding me.
It was the most surreal moment of my life. I know having a 'spiritual experience' might sound clichéd, but honestly, at that moment I felt closer to God than ever before in my life. It was like there was only Him and me on that mountain; like the sky could open and He'd be right there looking at me. I never felt more small and insignificant, but at the same time, it was such a relief. Like I wasn't alone. And that struck me so deeply that I curled up on the bare rocks and cried like a baby. It was hours before I finally made myself go back down.
I never told anyone about that moment. It was like a secret, something so fragile and precious that sharing it would make the memory melt away like a dream. So when I woke up that morning, I knew I wanted to go there. To get to the mountaintop again and see if I could have even a taste of the same experience. I wanted to be there when the world shattered. There was no place to hide, after all. Nowhere else for me to go.
I was nearby the foothills when I crossed a dusty, barren lot full of dead grass that for some reason had turned the color of fresh blood. I almost turned back, but I really wanted to make it up that mountain. So I kept going.