Troubridge had referred to "my father'. He was Admiral Sir Joseph Troubridge, well known and respected in the navy. A veteran of The Saintes and the Glorious First of June, as a lieutenant he had been a friend of the young Horatio Nelson.
And now he was leaving the Navy List to take up a prestigious appointment with the Honourable East India Company, "John Company "as it was nicknamed.
Troubridge's future would be in safe hands.
But like the Admiralty waiting room, it was no solution.
Troubridge smiled for the first time.
"I will let you know. I once asked that you might accept my service in the future, if there was any chance."
Adam gripped his arm.
"You will always be my friend, Francis. Be sure of that. And Lowenna's, too."
A door opened and Tolan appeared in the hallway.
He said to Troubridge, "Your carriage is here, sir, "but he was looking at Bolitho. "I have already had your things taken down."
Troubridge sighed.
"They are closing the house, Captain Bolitho. Sir Graham will no longer be staying in London, I fear. "He added briskly, the flag lieutenant again, "You are leaving tomorrow. I had word from Whitehall. I wish you Godspeed and good fortune."
And to Jago, "Keep a weather eye on the Captain, will you?"
They shook hands again.
"Until the next horizon, Francis."
They heard the sharp clatter of wheels, and Adam imagined the eyes at other windows along this quiet street.
Jago said, "There'll be some grub soon, Cap'n. You must be fair starvin'."
Adam turned from the door. Troubridge had been waiting for him. In case he was needed.
He saw that Tolan was still standing by the stairs.
"When are you joining Sir Graham? "He must be truly drained. Otherwise he would have understood.
Jago said harshly, "The vice-admiral's lady told him to sling his hook! That's the bald truth of it!"
Tolan said, "I can deal with it."
Adam sat again. The floor had shifted like a heaving deck, and his legs had almost buckled beneath him.
It was over. He tested each thought before it took shape. Tomorrow I will go home. To Falmouth. To Lowenna. If… He stopped it right there.
"I would relish something to drink, if you please. To swallow today's doubts, and the regrets. "He paused. "If you care for it, Tolan, we can make you welcome at Falmouth."
Jago was nodding, unsmiling. Tolan could only stare at him with incomprehension, his normal composure shaken.
Then he said, "I'll make sure you never regret it."
Jago had recognized the signs.
"I'll go with him, an' bear a hand."
Adam barely heard him. He would fall asleep here and now unless he took a grip of himself.
So quiet. No call to arms, no rattle of drums and stampede of running feet. The knot twisting in your stomach. And the fear you could never show when you were most needed.
He touched the letters inside his coat. Spoke her name.
He knew that somehow she would hear him.
2. Alive Again
The girl named Lowenna winced as her hip jarred against a small table, but she made no sound. She was more aware of the silence, and the floor that was like ice under her bare feet. She could not even remember getting out of bed, and yet her whole body was shivering, and she knew it was not only the cold.
The room was in complete darkness, and yet she thought she could discern the outline of a window, which had not been visible before. Before when? Nancy Roxby, Adam's aunt, had stayed with her for most of the day, making sure she was not alone even for a walk along the headland, where the wind off Falmouth Bay had been like a whetted knife.
She composed herself, running her fingers through her long hair to free it from beneath the thick shawl, which she did not recall taking from the chair.
The house was quiet. Still, as if it were listening. She pulled the shawl closer and felt her heart under her hand. Still beating too fast. The end of a nightmare: the nightmare. But why now? The long struggle was over. With the care and persistence of her guardian, she had won, although she shuddered now at the memory of pain and brutal violation, her pleas and screams only inciting worse attacks. Sometimes she seemed to hear her father's voice, sobbing and imploring them to stop, as if he were the victim.
She walked toward the window, her feet soundless, calming her mind as she had taught herself to do. Nothing could soil this day. Adam was arriving in Falmouth. Today. It was not a dream, or some cherished hoard of memories, it was real. Now.
She untied a cord and dragged open the heavy draperies. It was still dark, with only a hint of grey to distinguish the land from the sky. Not even a star, nor had there been when she had crossed to this window during the night. Or did I dream that, too? What was Nancy doing, she wondered. She had been born here, in the old Bolitho house, the daughter of another naval captain. She gripped the cord until it hurt her fingers. Like Adam. Nancy, always busy with the affairs of her own estate, and much of the time with this one. She had two grown children and two grandchildren, who lived somewhere in London. Her husband, the formidable Lewis Roxby, was dead, but she seemed unbreakable. A gentle woman, but firm when necessary, she was nearly sixty years old, and always surprised that she could still turn a man's head when she passed.
Lowenna found a handle and carefully forced open the window. There was no wind, but the air took her breath away and touched her hair like frost. As if she were naked.
She closed it, but not before she had heard a voice below the wall around the drive from the stables. They were up and about, preparing for the arrival of the Bolitho carriage. How did they know? The roads in February could be treacherous, even though Young Matthew, as they still called the senior coachman, was said to know them better than any one.
Adam would be collected from an inn on the outskirts of Truro. She shivered again. Perhaps not far from the Old Glebe House, where she had posed for Sir Gregory Montagu and found her courage and her pride again. And where life had changed, when Adam had been directed through Montagu's big, untidy studio. It had been fate: good fortune or destiny, who could tell? And how much of those two years since their meeting had they shared? Weeks, or only days? Now was not the time to reckon them.
She found the lantern near the door and opened its shutter. It was not much of a light; somebody would deal with it later.
Like everything else in this house.
When would she stop being merely a visitor here and become a part of it? Like the midshipman who had once been Adam's servant. He was here now, and this was his only home.
Or did he still regard it as a refuge? Like me.
Most of the time this house was empty but for those who cared for it, and the ghosts of vanished Bolithos whose portraits lined the landing and hung in the fine old study. And the latest portrait of Adam, who was adamantly not a ghost, gazing from the canvas throughout the months of his long absence, wearing the yellow rose on his uniform coat. My rose… Montagu had asked for her advice: the portrait had not been quite right, not to his satisfaction. They had discussed it, and together they had found what was lacking: that elusive smile.
Now it was Adam.
She glanced at the window again. Brighter? Yes. She allowed herself to smile. Not a dream. He was coming home. And I am not afraid.
If only Montagu had lived to see and share her hopes and happiness, but he had never recovered from the terrible injuries suffered in the fire which had destroyed the Old Glebe House.
The Last Cavalier, Adam had called him. Always alert, dedicated, and passionate. Ageless, with his neat, rakish beard; even the paint-daubed smock he usually wore could never conceal his courtly charm. It was so easy to imagine a rapier replacing the brush.