“Take this,” she said extending the staff toward Perdaro.
He moved hesitantly to her, his hand shaking as he reached out to take it from her. The wood was warm to the touch, and vibrated lightly against his fingers. The feel of it instilled equal parts wonder and horror within him.
“What…?”
“When you have killed the general, touch him with the light.” Her lips pulled up into a smile that scared the Voice of the People far more than the glowing staff. “After you do, he will be ours. Then we will deal with the ever-treacherous king.”
Hahn Perdaro stared at the staff in his hand, fighting the urge to throw it away.
Chapter Sixteen
Lehgan stood facing Emeline with his hands on his hips and an expression lacking any compassion on his face.
“You brought this on,” he said, clearly attempting to keep his voice even and conceal his anger. “You were the one who wanted to come on this foolish journey. How can you blame me for what happened to you?”
Sitting on the rickety bed with a threadbare blanket wrapped around her shoulders, Emeline glared at her husband; she hugged Iana tighter against her chest and said nothing while inside, she seethed. She wanted to stand and beat her fists against his chest, tell him his duty as her husband was to protect her no matter what happened or why they came to be where they were. She wanted to yell and stomp her feet like a child, call him names. She wanted to tell him she hated him.
But she didn’t.
He was her husband, and she loved him. Beneath the rage she felt, she knew he felt scared and embarrassed, despite his words. After watching what the soldiers did, he probably didn’t feel much like a man anymore, and certainly not like a good husband. He didn’t know how else to react. Though she knew this, she kept silent, not trusting the words she might speak to say what she knew rather than what she felt.
“Say something.”
She shook her head.
Lehgan’s hands curled into fists and Emeline saw the muscles in his jaw clench as he, too, held back his feelings. He raised his hand and extended a finger toward her. His jaw moved like he would say more, but he stopped himself, lips parted without words emerging, then he strode to the door.
The small building in which they'd taken refuge had been damaged during the Kanosee siege, and no door hung in the doorway. Lehgan stopped before crossing the threshold, leaned with one hand against the wall as though he needed its support to hold himself up. Emeline looked at his back, at the way his head hung forward, and thought about telling him it was all right, that everything would heal and life would return to normal. She didn’t, because she didn’t know if it would.
Lehgan looked back over his shoulder and she saw his eyes had softened, his jaw relaxed. Their eyes met and sadness and regret hovered in the air between them. They both saw it, they both felt it, but neither acknowledged it to the other. Lehgan’s gaze dropped; he turned and strode away down the street.
Emeline looked down at their baby sleeping in her arms. Iana’s lips moved, still suckling through her gentle snores; a line of milk-cloudy drool ran from the corner of her mouth across her cheek. Her hair-the chestnut brown of her father’s-had grown long enough to form a curl at the front of her head. Emeline reached out and smoothed it, the touch of her fingers on her baby’s skin soothing her, releasing the emotion pent up inside. Her lip quivered as she watched her daughter sleep, and the tears came.
Emeline closed her eyes and lowered her head. She pursed her lips, attempting to hold back the sobs so she wouldn’t wake Iana, but her shoulders quaked as her breath escaped her lungs. The tattered blanket slipped off her back and she felt the cold of the evening, but she didn’t reach for it, holding Iana closer instead. A moment later, an unseen hand replaced the blanket on her shoulders. Emeline raised her head and wiped tears away on her forearm, happy for her husband’s return.
“Lehgan, I-”
It wasn’t Lehgan. Instead, a shadowy figure stood before Emeline. At first, she thought tears made her eyesight misty, but she quickly realized she was seeing the ghostly woman who visited her before.
“You,” Emeline said.
The ghost woman stood silently. An unfelt breeze moved her skirt, its hem hanging an inch above the ground; her hair stirred around her shoulders. Emeline sniffled and wiped her arm across her eyes again. Iana stretched, yawned, but didn’t wake.
“Why are you here?”
“You despair.”
I was raped while my husband watched and did nothing. Now he’s gone and I’m left alone without so much as a door to protect me. I traveled all this way to help a man I betrayed and I’m visited by a ghost. Yes, I despair.
All of this ran through her head, but she allowed none of it past her lips. She simply nodded. The ghost woman stroked her fingers across Emeline’s forehead, brushing a strand of hair out of her eyes.
“I know this is difficult, but you must stay true. Lehgan knows what he has done, how you have been hurt. He will be there for you when it matters. You need to stay strong. For your sake, and his, and Iana’s. And for the kingdom. You are more important than you can know.”
Emeline sighed and swallowed around the hard knot in her throat. She didn’t feel important, not even to her husband, let alone the kingdom.
“If I am so important,” she said, then paused to take a shuddering breath. “If I’m so important, why has all this happened to me?”
“Child, there is no good reason for this to happen to you. To anybody. It just is, but you can choose to let it drive a wedge between you and your husband, allow it to defeat you, or you can find strength and determination in it. The choice is yours.”
Emeline looked into the woman’s eyes, so green they might have held precious emeralds deep inside. Her cheeks were speckled alabaster and, if she didn’t hold Iana in her arms, Emeline might have reached out and touched one to see if she was possibly real instead of a ghost. If she did, she thought she’d find she and the woman had more in common than she might know. The ghostly woman nodded as though she heard Emeline’s thoughts.
“There is not much longer to wait. Khirro approaches, and with him will come battle and bloodshed. You cannot avoid it. You will be part of it.”
Emeline’s lip quivered as the ghost woman stepped away, her words echoing in Emeline’s ears.
Battle and bloodshed. You will be part of it.
The woman’s form faded and Emeline allowed her head to fall forward. She looked at Iana’s peaceful expression as the baby slept and seeing it brought sadness into her heart like it squeezed through her veins with her blood. Her eyes slid closed and fresh tears trickled down her cheeks. She breathed deep to calm herself, but the breath carried with it an unfamiliar odor, a mingling of tangy herbs and unpleasant smells best left unidentified.
Emeline raised her head and opened her eyes, suddenly feeling as though someone watched her. She looked toward the doorway and found it empty but for a wisp of twilight mist that disappeared so quickly, she couldn’t be sure it existed in the first place. Her shoulders relaxed and the feeling faded. When she looked around the room at the cracked walls and the dirt floor, the ghostly woman was gone.
Iana cooed in her mother’s arms and Emeline looked down into the babe's face, at her pursed lips and drooping lids, and tried not to think about the woman’s words.
***
Elyea backed away from Emeline, let her relax and be with her daughter. Things would be more difficult for her soon-they would be for everyone-so best to let her have these moments when the opportunity arose. Despite her past with Khirro, this woman didn’t deserve what had happened to her.
The world lightened around Elyea as the call of the fields pulled her back, her work done for the night. She felt her surroundings begin to fade and relished the thought of returning to jade grass and azure sky, but as the broken-down shack started to dim, a feeling jolted her.