He knew I would be loath to participate in this game of vengeance-if that is, indeed, what it truly was-but if I didn't know the rules of the game or what my designated role was, then I couldn't act counter to it. I couldn't try to extricate myself from this pattern.
Besides, there was a carrot. Make it personal, Philippe had said to me one night, back when I had been a young student, craving any bit of knowledge he deigned to give me. Always make any conflict personal. That way they hand you their thread and ask you to twist it.
I couldn't trust any of the Watchers. But there was one person whom I could trust.
Marielle.
It couldn't get much more personal.
I started crawling. I had a long way to go.
X
Eventually, my cell phone chirped, and the tiny signal meter climbed to two bars. I was close to the surface. Another icon appeared in the menu. Voice mail. I dropped the phone back in my pocket. It could wait a few minutes; I was almost there.
The dry smell of the dead had gotten more pervasive in the last half-hour, and the texture of the walls had started to even out. Several of the rooms I had passed through had niches in the walls, and the floors were polished by the tread of many years. This area was more recently used.
My internal compass had been thoroughly fucked by the soulquake, and even though the ley energy had gotten progressively stronger as I had made my way through the tunnels, I hadn't been able to sync myself to the natural grid. There was too much noise, both in my head and from my surroundings, which led me to think I was moving through sections of the Parisian underground that had been heavily used to inter bodies. The only thing that leaves more psychic history than the bones of a church are the bones of people.
I thought I was under Pere Lachaise, and the heavy iron gate barring my further progress confirmed that suspicion. I was on the wrong side, though, as the location of the lock proved. The keyhole had been filled in and the mechanism had been welded together. Parisian officials didn't want to fill in the tunnels, but they certainly didn't want anyone to think going further into the old tunnels was an option. Nothing short of an acetylene torch or some C-4 was going to open this gate. Or magick-the occult key of blunt force. When subtlety wasn't an issue.
The bars were cold and hard and I was more tired than I realized; it took me a while to bend the Chorus to the task.
On the other side of the gate, the tunnels were clearly marked and I soon found a metal door. With a handle, even. It led me into the cramped basement of a maintenance shed, and at a desk near the ground-floor door, I sat down and checked my voice mail.
Marielle, returning my call. She was clinical and precise in her message. She didn't explicitly tell me to crawl off and die, but the sentiment was clear in her tone. She ended it with a long sigh, silence, and then, in a quieter voice: "Call me back."
I did, and she answered it on the second ring. "I got your message," I said.
She was quiet for a moment. "I probably wouldn't have said what I said if you had answered."
"Well, it was good that I didn't. It needed to be said."
"It didn't. I–I know you, Michael. I know you well enough. You didn't do any of it to hurt me. It's just. . "
"I have a crappy way of showing affection," I provided for her.
She laughed, and it sounded like something came loose in her chest when she did. "Yes," she said, "Yes, you do. You're like a cat who kills birds and leaves them in my shoes because you want to give me a gift."
"I am sorry."
"I know." She exhaled noisily.
"I kept the message," I said. "So I can play it back later, when I'm tempted to do something nice for you."
"You think that'll be enough to stop you?"
"I hope so."
"Me too. Though, there isn't much else that you could-"
"I could burn your house down."
"I've moved since the last time you were here, and no, I'm not taking you to the new place." There was some levity in her voice now, the pain of our history fading away into the endless well of memory. The imprint of my actions and the consequences would always be there, but we were moving past the recent incident. They wouldn't be forgotten-like all sins, they never are-but the other reasons we were bound to each other were reasserting themselves.
I glanced around the shed. "How about you come to my place?" I said. "It's a little small and smells funny, but it's cozy."
"Where?"
"Pere Lachaise."
She didn't answer right away, and I thought I had lost her.
"Were you there?" she asked finally.
Father Cristobel spun in the Chorus, a tiny knot of light sparking within their serpentine fog. She knew what had happened at the Chapel of Glass. She hadn't known I was there, but news of the chapel's destruction would have certainly been heard by the Watchers by now. My being at the cemetery-in relative proximity to the church-couldn't be a coincidence.
"I was," I said. "I'm so-"
"No." She cut me off. "You can't have been responsible."
"No, I wasn't. Well-"
"You're not at fault, Michael. You can't take that weight, nor will I accept it from you."
"He-" I tried again.
"Tell me later," she said. "It doesn't matter right now. You are safe. That is good enough."
My chest tightened, the Chorus grabbing my heart. I tried to speak, and found myself as tongue-tied as a ten-year-old boy with a crush on his babysitter.
"Can you find the grave of the painter?" she asked. "The one who shares a name with my godfather?"
David. Jacques-Louis David, the late-eighteenth/early-nineteenth-century painter who had been the herald of a new neoclassical style. He had a tendency to pick the wrong team politically, first Robespierre and then Napoleon, which made him rather unpopular in his death. Still, art was art and a number of his paintings hung in prominent places in the Louvre.
"Yes, I think so." I glanced around the shed. There had to be some sort of reference chart. If not here, then near any of the entrances. Through the tiny window of the shed, the light was russet and gold. Sunset already. The gates were closing soon, if not already.
"Meet me at the entrance nearest his grave," she said, reading my thoughts. "Half-hour."
On a shelf near the door, I found a dog-eared guidebook to the cemetery. Once I figured out where I was, finding David's grave and the nearest entrance was easy.
The guidebook offered the trivia that David's grave only held his heart. The rest of him was buried in Brussels. I knew how that felt.
Marielle showed up in one of the ubiquitous smart cars that were everywhere in Paris. A tiny two-seater that wasn't much more than a bubble of glass and aluminum lashed on top of an engine and drive chain. We rubbed shoulders, and every time the car went over a bump or a hole in the road, I nearly fell into her lap. In other circumstances, I would have found the constant physical contact terribly distracting, but as it was, I kept feeling like I should apologize.
"You need to stop that," she said while we waited for a light to change.
"What?" I asked.
She was wearing Escada. It was a scent I would always associate with her, and trapped in the tiny cab of the car, it became a narcotic. She was wearing a sienna-colored v-neck sweater beneath her long coat, and a slender strand of pearls lay across her clavicle and the hollow of her throat like a chain of moonlight. "That hangdog expression," she said. "It's like you've got more bad news."