She sat, checked her cell phone and, once seeing that she had missed another call, placed it back on the small glass table beside her after removing the battery.
“Not now,” she said. “I’m not ready just yet.”
It was only then, only after knowing that her husband was sleeping comfortably, that Michelle Mix allowed herself to cry.
She had married Stanley Mix nineteen years ago and had what many friends and family considered to be the perfect marriage. Though she was unable to get pregnant, the volunteer work she had time for thanks to Stanley’s income filled the need that not having her own children created.
She met Stanley when she was working with William Straus in that “awful place” that she never liked to talk about. It wasn’t long after meeting him that she reluctantly began to allow herself to fully heal after losing her first husband.
Stanley was wonderful. He was patient and understanding. He never pushed her to do, say, or feel anything that she wasn’t ready to do, say, or feel. Michelle often told people that falling in love with Stanley was something about which she had no decision.
He loved her more than she thought possible, and she grew to love him back with an equal intensity. She felt her fears and resistance to falling in love again melting away with each passing day. She tried her best to ward off the feelings but was unable to maintain her defenses for very long. And when Stanley told her that she didn’t have to work another second longer at Hilburn, her defenses collapsed.
It was almost exactly two years after they had met that day at Hilburn that they were married. A small ceremony, with only a handful of friends, Stanley’s mother, and a Catholic Priest were there to witness the marriage. But everyone that they met after being married was witness to the love they shared.
Stanley’s skills as a surgeon afforded them a lifestyle that many might envy. A beautiful home overlooking Lake Ontario. Cars, never older than two years, in their garage. Yearly three-week vacations to their condo outside of Lahaina on Maui.
All that was nice. Wonderful, in fact. But both Michelle and Stanley would have given it all up if doing so would allow them to stay together for a few more years. Everything; the house, Mercedes, the condo, the expensive art hanging on their living room walls, the forty-foot Sea Ray; all of it would have been gone in a second if there was trade offered.
“Everything you have in exchange for the cancer being gone. Deal or no deal?” she wished someone offered.
But no one ever made the offer. No one ever could. All that was offered was a grim prognosis.
“I’m sorry. We’ll treat the cancer as aggressively as your body can tolerate, but we can’t cure it. All we can do is to extend the time you have left.”
Though they tried to figure out what caused his stomach cancer to explode into existence, having no history of cancer or digestive diseases in his family’s history, Michelle always knew the cause. She knew that her husband was one of the “good guys.” The type that would never intentionally harm anyone, and someone who would always go out of his way to lend a hand.
Michelle knew that it was the guilt of what Stanley had willingly become a part of that created the acidic environment that allowed the cancer to flourish. She knew that what Stanley, Mark Rinaldo, Henry Zudak, and the bastards at Hilburn did to the O’Connell family and to Alexander was the cause of Stanley’s cancer.
When she learned that Mark, Henry, Peter, and Jacob had been killed by, supposedly Alexander Black, she knew that Alexander would be looking for her husband. She had no interest in her husband being the next person whose name got crossed off. There was no way that anyone would take her husband away from her a second before his time was up.
No way.
When she heard from that police chief that her husband’s name was on some list and that they needed to get protection until the suspect was apprehended, she knew that what she did six months ago had come back to haunt her. But learning about Stanley being on the list pissed her off. After all, wasn’t it her call that made everything possible in the first place? Wasn’t it she who let Ken O’Connell know what happened over two decades ago? Sure, she made the contact out of her own guilt and to remove whatever traces of guilt that were still creating the environment for cancer to grow in her husband’s body; but it was she and no one else who did what should have been done that day Alexander O’Connell was born.
As she pulled the final sip from her glass, Michelle listened again for any sounds coming from the bedroom. All was quiet except for the wonderful slight sounds of her husband’s breathing.
She remembered clearly the day she contacted Ken O’Connell. As clearly as she remembered the day she and Stanley were married, and as clearly as the day Stanley told her that he had inoperable and terminal cancer.
It wasn’t a rushed call, one made with a mindset of bargaining with God for her husband’s life. It was a call she had wanted to make for years. She just couldn’t risk what would happen to her husband if the O’Connells took legal action. And she knew they would. Ken O’Connell told her so when she did finally make the call.
“I will make damn sure that everyone of you bastards are put in jail for the rest of your pathetic lives,” he screamed at her. “How the hell could you keep this from us?”
She had no answers for him. No excuses for what the doctors at Saint Stevens had done, nor for herself keeping quiet for over twenty years. She didn’t even try to explain why William Straus never alerted anyone. She didn’t care how the O’Connells decided to deal with him. She didn’t care about defending Brian Lucietta or Jacob Curtis in the least. To her, Straus and his entire team were criminals with doctorate degrees.
She never told Stanley that she had told Ken O’Connell. Nor did she tell Stanley that Ken told her that they would make Stanley and all the doctors pay for what they had done. And she never told Stanley that only he, Brian Lucietta, and William Straus were still alive.
Michelle was surprised that Ken O’Connell didn’t do anything that even remotely seemed like what he promised he would do after she told him the whole story. No one ever called from any police department. No one from any medical ethics board every paid a visit. No governmental oversight committee member ever sent an email requesting clarification on a matter of particular importance.
Nothing happened.
Though Michelle truly didn’t care what actions Ken decided to take, she was surprised when nothing seemed to happen. So surprised, in fact, that two months after her first call to Ken O’Connell, she called again.
“I know what everyone did was awful. Unforgiveable. And I honestly feel that everyone should pay for what we did to your son. But, Mr. O’Connell, whatever actions you are planning, I ask that you leave my husband alone. He’s sick. Very sick. He doesn’t have much time left, and I know that whatever you may have planned to do won’t be nearly as bad as what his guilt is doing to him already.”