There was a chance of borrowing the dough. I called nine guys in a half hour, guys I knew pretty well. I couldn’t come out and ask for the money like I needed it bad, because that kind of news gets around town fast. I had to hint around but they guessed what I wanted and they did just what I’d have done. They came up with long hard luck stories.
About seven o’clock I took a shower and got dressed. I had to pick up the blonde at eight and I made myself think about her. I thought about what I had to do with her and that kind of thinking didn’t help the way I was feeling.
I was tight and nervous inside, but I’d been that way for so long now it seemed natural. I made myself one last big drink and sat down with it, trying to cool and relax.
I wished I could crawl into some cave where it was dark and quiet, a little cave that nobody else knew anything about, where I could hide forever.
The phone rang then and I got tighter inside. Sounds were hurting me now. They hit my ears like hot needles or pushed into my stomach like cold steel. They weren’t telephone bells and automobile horns and street noises any more. They were things that jabbed at me, hurt me, made me jump.
I picked up the phone. It was Banghart.
He said, “Well, Johnny, I guess I took you.” He laughed.
“You sure did,” I said.
His voice was quiet, soft and natural. “One of those things, I guess,” he said. “That was just a hunch bet and look what happened. Paid nine to one, didn’t she?”
“Yeah.”
“I thought you might drop in this afternoon,” he said.
“Sure, but I was busy.”
“It doesn’t matter. When will I see you, Johnny?”
There was no use lying. I said, “Banghart I’m caught short. I didn’t lay off your bet. I held it. I can’t pay you right away.”
He was quite for a long time and all I could hear was my heart punching at my ribs. “Do you hear me?” I said. “I got caught. I haven’t got the dough. You’ll have to give me a little time.”
He said, “I’m not worrying about the money. Relax, Johnny. We all make mistakes at times. How much time will you need?”
“Nine thousand bucks is a lot of money. You’ll get every penny of it, Banghart, but I’ll need a couple weeks.”
“This is Wednesday, isn’t it? Supposing we say next Sunday?”
“Christ, Banghart, be reasonable.” My voice sounded like I was choking, I guess, but it was because of the way I was wound up inside. “I’ll get your money for you but I can’t pull it out of a hat.”
“Johnny,” he said, and his voice was still quiet and soft. “I don’t think I’m being unreasonable. We made a bet. You lost. I naturally want my money. But if you’re short, that’s all right. I’m giving you four days to raise the money. I think that’s enough time.”
“I don’t know if I can do it,” I said.
“I’d advise you to try like the devil, Johnny.” His voice wasn’t soft any more. It had the sharp sound a trap makes when it springs shut. “I’ll expect to hear from you Sunday night. Call me at my Loop office. If I’m not there someone can tell you where to reach me.” He hung up.
I put the phone down. Four days. It wasn’t much, but it was better than nothing. I knew guys in town who wouldn’t have given me ten minutes.
Something might break. I finished my drink and tried not to think I was kidding myself. I went down and got my car then and went out to the blonde’s. She was ready when I got there. I talked to the old man about how hot it was down in the yards, then Marie and I went out to the car.
When we went down the street the women on the porches stopped talking and looked at the car. I drove out north and she sat beside me, not saying anything, just smiling and looking happy.
She looked pretty good. She had on a light blue dress and a bow in her hair. She had her hair let down to her shoulders and it looked clean and bright blowing in the wind and left her face looking round and kind of soft.
She put her hand on my arm and looked at me and smiled.
“Don’t look that way, Johnny.”
“How do I look?”
“You look like your muscles are all bunched tight.”
“Let’s don’t worry about how I look.”
“All right, Johnny.” She took her hand away from my arm carefully, as if she was afraid I’d notice that it had been there.
“I’ve got troubles,” I said, “but they don’t have to bother you.”
“They do, Johnny. Is it what we talked about this afternoon?”
“That’s part of it.”
“Well, that’ll be over when we get married. They can’t make me say anything then, can they?”
“No,” I said shortly.
She had one idea in her mind now. She had me caught where she thought I couldn’t move. Maybe she thought she was doing all this because she loved me, but my guess was she figured she had me caught tight. She’d never let go now. The only mistake she made was telling me everything she knew.
When I got out past the city I pulled in at one of the dark beaches. It wasn’t far from where Alice and I stopped the night before.
We sat for a while in the car and then I said, “Let’s take a walk down to the water.”
“The sand is wet, isn’t it?”
“It’s all right here. Let’s go.”
We got out of the car and went down on the beach. There was a moon coming up across the lake, but there was a mist in the air that made the light weak and cloudy. This was a deserted section of the beach and the only noise was the faint lap of the water.
I didn’t know what I had in mind. We were close together and when her heels would twist in the sand she’d giggle and grab hold of my arm. When we got down to the water she shivered and moved closer to me.
“I hate water at night,” she said.
The lake looked black and restless. Light from the moon made a faint yellow path across it, and here and there you could see the flick of a whitecap. There was a light breeze coming up and the air was getting cooler. We were the only ones within miles of the place.
“Can you swim?” I said.
She shivered again and laughed nervously. “I guess I’ve always been too afraid. When I was a kid we used to go down to the beach a lot in the summer, but I never learned. I don’t know why but water has always scared me. Just thinking about it on a night like this gives me goose pimples all over. It looks so black and deep.”
I laughed. “I didn’t know you had such nutty ideas. The water won’t hurt you.”
“I know... but I’m still scared.”
“Let’s go wading now.”
“Now? It’s too cold, Johnny.” She backed away a little and said, “You go on in and I’ll watch.”
“Don’t be like that, honey.” I put my arms around her and pulled her close to me. “You wouldn’t be afraid if I was with you.”
“Maybe not, but—”
“Don’t be like that. I’ll put my coat on the ground and you can put your clothes on top of it. That’ll keep the sand out.”
She looked out at the water and shivered again. “All right, if you want me to. But I won’t go far.”
We took off our clothes and made a pile of them on top of my coat. I still didn’t know what I had in my mind, but it was there, like something dark and soft, on the edge of my thinking.
I went in first. The water was cold but I went out until it was up to my shoulders. I heard her squeal when she put one foot in the water, but she kept coming out until she was just a foot or so from me.
The water was up to her throat there and I could hear her teeth chattering. Her face looked small and white against the black water.
“I’m standing on my toes now,” she said. “I can’t go any farther.”