‘Nevaeh, what is that fragrance you have on?’ he groans between kisses. ‘It’s driving me crazy.’ I smile then remembering how he once sniffed me.
‘Um, I don’t wear perfume. I’m allergic, uh…’ I stop; his kisses make my skin shiver, in a nice way. Then he stops and I frown looking at him in irritation. I don’t want to talk anymore, and I wonder if all guys ask questions at the wrong time. ‘Nevaeh, that’s insane; you might be the only girl I know that doesn’t wear some sort of make-up and still look so gorgeous. No wonder the twins are so jealous of you.’
‘Really?’ I half smiled looking at him incredulously.
‘Yep, haven’t you seen them filing their cat claws?’ We both laugh and then giggle quietly when two nurses come in. Even though we know they can’t hear or see us, I don’t want to chance it. Being invisible suddenly feels kind of cool in a weird way. I even feel brave enough to wave at them, laughing loudly after they leave. I turn to Hawk, but he’s facing away from me.
‘Hawk, what’s wrong?’ His back goes rigid, and only the slight movement of his shoulders makes me think he is talking to someone. Can you talk on your mobile when you’re trancing? Another mood change, I think dismally. It suddenly feels like the fun has left with the nurses. But when Hawk turns round, his face is ashen. I knew it was serious but I didn’t want to hear anymore bad news. The mood changes are starting to get a little irritating, and I raise my eyebrows.
‘Well? What disaster is it this time? I mean c’mon Hawk; I’m already having an o.b.e – what the hell can be worse - apart from dying?’ I bite my lip, even though for me that sounded more sarcastic than normal.
‘Nevaeh, I have been contacted by my ancestor, and she has sent me a warning. Somehow, you have to return to your body and it has to be now, or your soul will be lost forever.’
I reel, looking around for sight of this ancestor. He might have been quoting, but every word scares me. It is okay having ancestors to talk to, but apart from him, I’m alone and totally terrified. I pull back suspiciously when he touches my hand. Maybe to him this is an adventure, a way of increasing his abilities, but this is my life he’s talking about.
‘Nev, we’re all trying to figure this out, but most of this is untried territory. We can do other things, but remaining here in this plane of existence is hard work, and if it hadn't been for my ancestors or the group – my energy would have been sapped long ago.’
Something in me snaps then, and I throw my hands up in irritation. Was it me? Or is everything mainly about them?
‘Well boohoo for you. By the way, the name’s Nevaeh and I’m either having a way weirder dream than normal or I’M DEAD!’ I shout, walking towards the window.
‘Nevaeh be careful, don’t step near the window you might….’
For someone who was known for having no temper, Hawk was getting the worst out of me. I purposefully exaggerate the way I lean on the mantelpiece and instantly regret it.
The mantelpiece is there one minute then nowhere, and I’m freefalling out of the building. I can feel the wind gushing past me and the noise of the cars on the street below. I’m falling in slow motion; fear of hitting the ground makes me crane my neck round while my chest feels like it is being crushed.
‘Don’t be scared Nevaeh. You’re coming home.’ A voice echoes after me.
My eyes fly open, the voice isn’t Hawk’s, it is lighter and only then do I notice strange specks of light surround me like glitter; growing brighter the further I fall.
‘I’m coming home? Where’s home?’ I think, the rational side of my brain starting to panic. I’m going to hit the bottom soon and wonder if you can die twice.
‘Nirvana….’ The voice trails off and even in my panic I register her voice. Tears roll down my cheek as I think of my parents and send a silent prayer to them, grunting from the pressure on my chest. The cars are louder now; louder means closer and I close my eyes waiting for impact.
14
Heaven
‘Nevaeh...open your eyes,’ the voice coaxes, it is soft and gentle, and I warily obey. I’m hovering now, drifting downwards like a feather. But that seems unimportant compared to what is hovering above me. The face is slim, surrounded by golden hair. Déją vu hits me, and I gasp, remembering the woman leaning over me – it’s her! She smiles then, crinkling the corners of her eyes, and I feel as if I’m meeting an old friend, so old that I can’t remember her name. She is radiating some kind of light, and I conjure up the image of white feathers. The word, ‘angel,’ springs to mind, and I know I’m gaping.
‘We’ve been watching you for such a long time, Nevaeh.’ As soon as she says that I have the sense of others behind her. It must be heaven, and I feel relieved that I’m in the other place. Not that I’ve had time in my life to do anything bad. What does heaven look like? Is it a city? Can I fly? Movies of heaven flash images at me, and I look round.
I’m still falling although it doesn’t actually matter anymore, I’m going home. The air has become static, and there’s a pain in my chest. I focus on the woman.
I am overwhelmed by how beautiful she is and how the flecks of gold in her green eyes resemble mine. It is then that I feel the connection, and I gasp as her mind links. This is my mother! The full force of this realisation, of her waiting for me, hits me like a wave. This is exactly how people have described meeting people in the afterlife.
I’m dead, so is she. Now I’m returning; I feel so unbelievably happy, it flows through me. Everything is starting to make sense now. I feel my arms reaching out for her.
‘NEVAEH…HOSPITAL BED!’
Hawk’s voice rips through us and I catch the confused look on her face before she dissolves into mist.
‘NEVAEH…YOU HAVE TO SEE IT!’ His voice feels like fingernails being dragged down a board, and I cringe.
‘Why Hospital bed?’ The image comes swiftly and the moment I think it, the brakes go on, flipping my stomach, as it pushes me back up at high speed.
I cringe closing my eyes as I fly through the window, expecting breakage of some kind but everything is quiet. I look back in confusion, at the window, the dusty blinds and flaky painted window sill which seem rock solid. I don’t look at Hawk. I just stand there trembling. If I’m supposed to be with my mother, where is my real mother? Tears, well up flooding down my cheeks. I wonder what happened to her after she left me at the adoption agency. How did she die? I know she loves me from the way she cradled me. More than ever, I want her to hold me again. All I have to do is put the puzzle together. I look at the still body lying in the bed – I have all the time in the world.
‘My dreams Hawk, they’re connected to all of this.’ I say tapping my little finger.
‘First there’s that place, with the temple, and statues; it is sacred, and I can still smell the incense if I try and the freshness of the earth. Then all the pain, the poison, like I was the earth’s messenger…’ My hands flutter to my throat, as I remember the gagging.
‘Nevaeh.’ Hawk says quietly, stepping closer but I hold my hand up.
I’m weary, and close my eyes, rubbing my temples, thinking.
‘Then, when we tranced, remember? I saw that girl, with the baby, in the basket.’ I look at him then with wide eyes.
‘Did I tell you, she jumped?’ I sweep my hand down to make a point.
‘She ran from the temple, across the field and then jumped, and when I saw the bracelet of flowers on the baby’s arm, I…’ That was me. I look at him anxiously.