‘Get away!’
Hawk, help me…I want to wake up now there’s something here.
‘Nevaeh…open your eyes.’
‘No, I don’t want to, safer this way.’
‘Its okay, I’m all around you, look I’ve pushed them away. No-one is going to hurt you.’
His voice is sweet and drips like honey. I feel as if I know him even though I can’t see him. There’s something about him, something I’ve forgotten.
‘Do I know you? Are you like me?’
I can hear him chuckling.
‘ Yes’
‘Am I in heaven? Am I dead?’
‘Nevaeh, you cannot die…you were never born.’
‘I don’t understand…’
‘You are a true daughter of Gaia, conceived in thought and delivered for a purpose.’
‘Hawk, did you hear that?’
‘What purpose?’
A feeling traces itself like fingers over my body making me tremble. I feel our souls connecting. His voice makes the chill disappear.
I know without looking that the dark breathing shadow has gone and the warmth of the light bathes my face. I revel in the feel of the grass and nestle into it like a soft blanket.
I feel so much calmer now as if by thinking it makes it okay. It’s this place Hawk; I wish you could see it. I only have one, regret; that Mum and Dad might miss me. My mind is trying to remember. I feel I can do things, create things. Have I been sleeping for a long time? Time doesn’t seem to matter anymore, and a golden winged butterfly is a massive distraction when you’ve got nothing to do. I never noticed how rhythmical they are. How perfectly they dodge through the flowers.
The flowers - OMG you won’t believe the flowers. They’re like this crazy colour and seem to have their own light. I’m surprised I don’t see any of my favourite ones. They’re purple and the ends of the petals curl.
‘Close your eyes and imagine it…’
My heart leaps with happiness, he’s here.
‘Where are you?’
I can hear laughter now of others, and wonder if I’m surrounded by angels. I didn’t tell you before, but I saw one of them when I fell out of the window.
‘Close your eyes Nevaeh…imagine the flower, then open them.’
The male voice sounds urgent. Okay, make your mind up, you wanted me to open them earlier.
Mmmm, I’m closing them, seeing giant, curly purple petals, lighter on the edges, and darker on the inside.
‘Can I see you now? Why are you laughing? Right that’s it, I’m going to open my eyes.’
‘You see Nevaeh, the power of thought.’
I can’t believe it. I feel like laughing and crying at the same time, I’ve never felt so happy. You won’t believe this Hawk, but right in front of me is the flower, exactly the way I imagined it. My mind is racing with what I can do. I have to try other things. I wish I knew where you were; I want to give you this flower. Hey, someone else is here, I can see a face – I remember that face from the night of the accident. Leaves and flowers are blowing all over the place and it’s creating a person – wow, so beautiful, she’s more than beautiful….Hawk, I know her.
‘This is our true mother Nevaeh.’
I want to cry, she’s so beautiful, if that makes sense.
I can feel myself moving forward, my body disappearing through her into a mass of colours. She’s holding her arms out to me, and I know I’m home.
His words repeat themselves in my head.
‘You were never born.’
‘I….was never born.’
26
Rejection
Amber screamed in agony, her body continuing to tear from its totem. If she had a choice, she would choose death over the pain that racked her body. The mental torture overwhelmed her. Everything was ruined – she had betrayed the only group that truly accepted her, and had been betrayed by the one she had trusted.
She sat in the same place they had found her; reliving the memories of the child’s terror. The joining had been catastrophic, but it was the only way to be tracked. She wished she knew why Anna was so interested in Nevaeh – so what if she was an indigo? From what she had heard, there were plenty of them around. Why Nevaeh, in particular? She mulled the thought over, and knew once again that she wasn’t important enough to be told.
An image of Jo-Jo came to mind, and she prayed that she had stuck to the plan. Every day, since they had met, she had texted her. If she missed the six pm text, Jo-Jo would take it that there was trouble. Now, she wished, she’d made it earlier – six o’clock seemed so far away. She didn’t know why she felt the need to call for insurance, but her sixth sense had been right. She had been caught; they must have known this was going to happen. A sharp pain shot through her body making her spasm and she wished for death.
Why? Why did I do this?
Her mind drifted backwards, remembering her last encounter with Anna. She had been changing, becoming distant and instinct told her that she was running out of usefulness. Then suddenly she wanted her to join, suddenly it was important and it was her turn to have reservations.
‘Exactly why can't you use that animal's totem? Look at him, he’s not going anywhere.’ Anna grabbed her roughly by the arm pulling her to the front of Seth’s cage. She stared in wide eyes at the naked figure that was curled up and tried to turn away, but Anna held her fast.
‘This is what you always wanted, isn’t it? A chance to be like them?’ Her voice lowered as she cupped her chin, pulling her gaze back to her. Amber stared in fear at the hypnotic green eyes. At first, they had reminded her of Nevaeh’s, except for the burst blood vessels at the edges. It gave her a crazed look, and she knew then that she was in too deep. If she didn’t accept Seth’s totem - her life would be over. She had seen Anna dispose of those that stood against her. If she accepted, she knew that she would lose everyone else. The thought of being without Andrea felt like bites being taken from her soul. Anna’s madness had disappeared when she agreed, and she felt her own body physically relax. Her mission had seemed so easy at first - to find an Eco child and return to Harp. Apparently they needed two children; she only had one and the thought of the trapped child in the cage made her seethe. She had heard them talking. They knew there were patrols out; she had seen them on Anna’s screen.