Amanda. Caitlan. One and the same. His instincts wanted to deny her claim, but she'd given him too much proof not to believe her. The whole situation boggled his mind. He'd fallen in love with Caitlan, and never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined he'd actually fallen in love with Amanda… again.
Although he'd resolved that Caitlan was Amanda's spirit in different packaging, he couldn't help but think of her as Caitlan, the woman he'd fallen in love with. This feeling of love he harbored for Caitlan was different from the one he'd shared with Amanda. Stronger somehow, full of rich passion. An adult love. Mature and lush with promise. Powerful and everlasting, like the love for Amanda would have grown to be if had she lived.
He no longer cared who she was, only that she made him feel truly alive after being dead inside for so long. He'd been given a second chance, and he wasn't about to give her up.
Quietly unlatching the corral gate, he stepped inside. Caitlan glanced over her shoulder, acknowledging his presence, then resumed grooming King.
Slowly, he approached the pair so as not to frighten the stallion. The smell of damp, burnt wood still hung in the air, and he was suddenly struck with a question he should have asked Caitlan earlier, but had been too swamped by other feelings to think past the fact that Caitlan was Amanda.
Three feet away, he stopped. King eyeballed him warily but stood still for Caitlan's praise and loving ministrations. "Do you know who's behind all the incidents at the ranch?" he asked in a quiet tone.
She hesitated so long, J.T. didn't think she planned to answer him. Finally, she said, "Yes."
"Who?"
"I can't say."
"Why not? You've told me everything else." His voice rose with a touch of irritation, and King shied away.
Caitlan consoled the horse, then glanced over her shoulder at him. Even in the darkness he could see the reluctance in her gaze. "It's Randal."
"Randal? That's ridic-" He stopped abruptly, unable to deny that his cousin had been acting strange lately. Combine Randal's surly attitude and financial obligations with his drinking habit and you'd get a man on the verge of sliding off the edge. But to go as far as to commit murder…? "Randal wouldn't gain anything by killing me."
"I don't believe he's after material possessions," she stated. "Please don't ask me anything else, Johnny. I've already risked fate to tell you this much. Just let me do my job and protect you." Her voice was a shade away from a plea.
Anger passed through J.T. How could he have been so blind to his cousin? Maybe because he didn't want to admit Randal, his own kin, could be so devious. "I'll get Randal help."
"No one can help Randal but himself. He doesn't want to change. That's why I'm here."
J.T. didn't argue, though he wanted to. He didn't excuse Randal's behavior the past couple of weeks, but Randal was family, and he'd do whatever was necessary to put him back on the straight and narrow-starting with checking him into a rehab center for his drinking. Tomorrow, he decided, he'd approach Randal and tell him he's suspended with pay if he agrees to get help.
Satisfied with his plan, he pushed it out of his mind for the time being. All he wanted right now was Caitlan, except she was giving her total attention to King, stroking him and praising him. He was actually jealous of a horse.
"Can I touch him?" he asked, wanting to be a part of the bond between Caitlan and the stallion.
Caitlan framed the side of King's head gently in her hands, her thumbs caressing his muzzle, and looked into his eyes in silent communication. She glanced back at J.T., moonlight brushing her features in pale silver. "You're not a threat to him. I can see it in his eyes. Move slowly and he might let you." Grasping his halter lightly, she moved to make room for J.T.
J.T. approached King cautiously, and the horse whinnied and shied away. Caitlan reassured the stallion with soft words and a gentle caress, until J.T. stood close enough to touch him. He raised his hand and King sidestepped anxiously. Remembering Caitlan telling him King had been abused, he suspected Randal was the culprit.
After a few minutes of sweet-talking the horse J.T. finally touched King, his fingers stroking down the strong muscles in the stallion's neck. That was all King allowed before he jerked away, neighing uneasily. Caitlan let go of King and he galloped to the far end of the corral, tossing his sleek black head, watching J.T.
"That was incredible," J.T. said, a sense of awe filling him. "I can't believe he let me get that close."
"It's a start. He's been through a lot lately." She placed the curry comb on the fence post, a smile of satisfaction gracing her mouth. "Take care with him, Johnny. He's a beautiful horse."
J.T. nodded. Holding Caitlan's gaze, an awareness swirled in the cold night air between them. Heart pounding in his chest, he slowly approached her, suddenly needing to reaffirm that she was truly alive, and not some wispy figment of his imagination.
Sliding his cool fingers into her silky hair, he absorbed her warmth and softness, gradually moving closer until his thighs pressed against hers. Staring into the face of the woman he loved, something magical and promising sparkled between them. Love-pure, sweet, and crystal clear.
With a groan of joy, he folded her into his arms, reveling in the accepting way she came to him. She worked the zipper on his coat down and slipped her hands inside, snuggling into him. Her cheek rested on his chest, and her arms circled him in the sweetest way.
Closing his eyes, he buried his face in her hair, saturating his senses in the unique, feminine scent of her. "Oh, God, Caitlan… I mean, Amanda…" He swore, his eyes snapping open in annoyance. "What in the hell am I supposed to call you?"
Against his chest he felt her lips lift in a smile. "For now, call me Caitlan."
Caitlan… but her spirit belonged to Amanda. Would he ever get used to such a novelty? "I've missed you so much," he breathed against her temple.
She looked up at him, her eyes shining with adoration. "I know. I've felt your love all along."
His hands slid down her back to her hips. "How?"
"Our souls are matched eternally."
He liked the sound of that. He'd gladly be bound to her forever. "What happens now?"
She knew what he was asking. Sorrow clouded her eyes, and her smile faded away. Withdrawing from him, she stepped away and focused on King, prancing at the opposite end of the corral. "Nothing has changed," she said quietly, pain in her tone. "Once my mission is over I'll be leaving."
His body went as taut as a bow. "No."
Her gaze found his again. "Johnny, it's all so complicated. I… can't stay." Her voice was thick with the unshed tears pooling in her eyes.
"I'm not letting you go." He heard the desperation in his voice but didn't care. "It'll kill me to lose you again."
"No, it won't." Caitlan's heart ached for him, for everything that could never be. "The memory of me being here will fade with time."
Disbelief flared in his eyes. "You're a part of me, Caitlan." Grabbing her hand, he pressed her palm over his heart. "Can you feel that? How could I ever forget you?"
The heavy beat beneath her hand reverberated through her, flowing to her soul in a river of longing. "Oh, Johnny…" A sob of despair caught in her throat.
"I won't let you go twice. Not without a fight."
"You have no choice," she argued.
"I do." His hand curled around the back of her head and pulled her to him, his mouth covering hers before she realized his intent.
Caitlan gasped at the surprise attack, and he took advantage of her parted lips to sink his tongue inside her mouth. She moaned… in pleasure, and at the pain that would haunt her once she left him. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she clung to him, matching the silken glide of his tongue, stroke for intimate stroke.
Breathless, they broke apart. J.T. buried his face in her neck, his lips brushing her flesh, his teeth grazing her soft skin up to her ear. Caitlan shivered and hugged him closer.