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I waste no time and run up the stairs to my room when we return to the clubhouse. I need to be alone with my thoughts after our massacre. Bursting into my room, I forget about Dani being in there. I can’t verbalize words to apologize to her for the things I’ve said and done to her over the last few weeks. Stalking past her and into the bathroom, I slam the door and throw myself, clothes and all, into the shower. I turn the water as hot as it will get and sit in the hot spray, attempting to wash away the guilt and pain of everything we did today and the painful memories of my past. Tears soon begin to fall as I weep into my knees, begging for mercy against my transgressions as a man. Justice was served today to a murdering club who killed my friend, but what about the women they tortured? The thought of finding Dani like that reemerges and I weep harder. I did what I had to do for the sake and pride of my club, but I’m not proud of the things I’ve seen today. We failed to protect those women, just as we failed to project Jagger in his retirement. That kind of guilt just doesn’t wash away. It will haunt me for the rest of my life.

I don’t know how long I sit in the shower but when the water finally runs cold, I make myself get up off the floor. Stripping my soaking wet clothes, I reach for a towel on the shelf, wrapping it around my waist. I still see the blood on my skin even though it’s been long washed away. I feel unclean and uncertain of myself as a man. Stepping from the bathroom, Dani’s eyes lift to mine. She jumps from the couch and runs toward me, wrapping her thin, delicate arms around my neck and holding me close. Her reaction to my return surprises me. Holding her against my cold, damp body, she begins to shiver.

Shit, I’m freezing her to death. I bend down and pick her up into my arms. Carrying her to the bed, I lay her down gently and slide the covers over her hips. She shivers and shakes the entire time it takes me to move to the other side of the bed. Removing the damp towel, I slide in next to her and pull her shivering body against mine. Her ass nestles against my aching groin and my arms encompass her slim waist. She’s finally not off-limits to me, and I don’t even know how to approach the topic with her. When did I become such a pussy?

We lay melded together for hours, just comforting each other with our presence and warmth, her heartbeat beating in rhythm with my own. She stays quiet, likely knowing I’m not ready to talk about what happened. The quiet was fine for a while, but I need to hear her voice. I need her to understand everything.

“Dani?” I whisper.

“Mmhmm,” she hums.

“I’m sorry I didn’t trust you enough to believe your story,” I embarrassingly admit.

She stretches and rolls to face me. Her eyes enchant me, and I can’t hold back any longer. Pulling her closer to me, I press my lips against hers. The softness of her lips feels as if I am kissing pure silk. She fully awakens under my touch and wraps her arms around my neck, kissing me in return. Our lips meld together and I slip my tongue into her mouth, caressing hers. She moans and wraps her legs around mine. Rolling her on her back, I lean over her and kiss her again. Her lips are intoxicating.

I trail kisses down her neck while my hands roam underneath her shirt. Her breasts fit perfectly in my hands. This woman seems to be made for me physically. Everything that I love about a woman has been tightly bundled in a Dani-sized package. She’s perfect and wanting her this badly, knowing everything about our history, makes me feel guilty inside for pushing her away. The sudden realization that I need Dani like I need oxygen in my lungs scares me. I’m not built to love or to want. My purpose in life is to kill when commanded and fuck when I needed release.

Pulling up her shirt, I place tender kisses down the contours of her exposed belly. She moans and watches me as I trail down below her navel. My hands trace the path of my kisses as my finger brushes against her apex. Slowly moving her shorts to the side, I lightly stroke against her pussy. My touch sends shivers up her body as I push my finger into her wetness. Her breath hitches as I stroke a circle around her clit, soft moans fall from her lips as her eyes lock onto mine. She watches me intently as I circle her clit again and moans louder with each rotation I make around her throbbing nub. Watching her enjoying my touch stiffens my cock even harder. I want to bury myself into this woman so badly, but I don’t want to rush with her.

“Does your pussy like that, Dani?” I ask her as I press harder on her clit. “Does she like the feeling of my hands on her?”

“Yes,” Dani breathlessly responds.

“Does my girl have a greedy pussy? Do you need a release so badly that you’ll beg me for it?”

“Please, Hero,” she cries as I rub tight circles over her clit.

“Your wish is my command, darlin’.”

Lowering myself farther onto the bed, I pull her soaked shorts away from her body and toss them on the floor. Jesus, her pussy is glistening it’s so wet. My dick throbs harder knowing I’ve done this to her.

Pushing her legs apart, I hover my face over her pussy before pressing my tongue against her, letting my hot breath fall against her folds. My hands grip her waist and pull her soaking wet pussy hard against my face. Dani quakes at the new sensation and moans with each lick as goosebumps playfully pop up on her skin.

“You taste like heaven, Dani. I’ve never tasted anything so sweet before in my entire life.”

My tongue continues to dance around her clit as she grinds her hips into my face, pressing as hard as she can against me. She rubs herself against my tongue, increasing the friction, as I roughly grip her gyrating hips, applying pressure to lock her in place.

“Fuck,” she screams as I put my teeth on her clit. I pull her legs over my shoulders to lock her into place.

“This pussy is mine, angel. Only mine, do you understand me?” I order as I circle her clit once more. “The only man in this clubhouse that ever sees this pussy is me.”

“Yes, Hero. Only yours. Please, I’m so close,” she pleads. Quickening the pace of my tongue, I suck her clit into my mouth. “Fuck, right there! Just like that,” she directs me as if I’ve never gone down on a girl before. Her pussy begins to contract in anticipation of the impending orgasm just seconds before she screams out. Her clit vibrates around my face as I tease her entrance with a finger, plunging just one finger into her pussy to finger fuck her against her waning orgasm. She gyrates against me as her orgasm begins to slow.

“Jesus, Dani. I’ve never seen someone cum that hard before. Kinda makes me proud. Do I get a medal?”

“Shut the fuck up, Hero,” she teases as an infectious smile plasters on her face. “Just let me enjoy the afterglow before you say something fucking stupid.”

Letting her rest for a few minutes, I trace the curves of her body. She’s driving me insane with her satiated smile. I rocked her fucking world, and I’ve wasted enough time contemplating what her pussy feels like. I need to bury myself inside her before the darkness takes over again.

“I need you, Dani, like I’ve never needed a woman before,” I declare with longing. Admitting it out loud so soon surprises both her and me. She is the only one who kept the ghosts at bay after what I saw today. Pleasing her helped me momentarily chase them away, but even I know it’s a temporary fix. I need to feel something other than pain and hatred. Dani is the only one who can save me from myself.

A flash of seriousness crosses her face, and it’s in that moment I realize I’ve lost her. “I can’t do this, Hero. I just can’t. It’s not you doing this to my body. Your eyes are empty and lost. I can’t be the woman that you drown your sorrows in and forget about the next morning,” she says, looking away from me. Dani suddenly sits up and tries to scoot away from me. “How do I even know if you’re clean?”

“You’ve got to be kidding me, right? I’m good enough to lick your pussy clean, but I’m not good enough to fuck you because I’m unclean. What the hell, Dani?” I argue. I know she has every reason to question me on my actions, especially after everything she witnessed here, but I’m still not thinking clearly. The look on her face tells me I pushed her too far. I’ve fucking hurt her again, and she’s shutting back down. She slides from the bed and pulls her shorts back on. Walking to the door, she stares at me just before walking out.