Damn right she was a pilot. The Fleet was raking up all the recruits they could beg or bribe away from the Shepherds, and they’d evidently made her an offer, given her her hours—a fool friend, an almost-lover near young enough to be her son, cracked up in hospital, needn’t have been any part of it. Couldn’t go by what Meg said. Couldn’t. She had a lot of virtues, but strict accounts wasn’t one of them. It was enough she’d come to the hospital to get him. It was enough she’d stand there and risk arrest and losing everything to get him out. Meg was like that. Might go, might stay. But if she stayed—
if she stayed—
He got most of the hamburger down. He got down half the shake and half the fries. He sat there in a room with Ben and Sal talking about computers and the UDC, and Meg wolfing down the first hamburger she must have had in years, and looking not a bit changed—a few more lines around the eyes, maybe. And when he had to put the rest of his shake aside, he shut his eyes for just a moment and sat there, and thought about Cory. He thought about Bird, and the Belt. He thought he was there for the moment, but it wasn’t a serious drift, just remembering. Safe.
Want to break his damn neck, Ben thought. Skuz ate the mess and went out cold, no wonder. Poor dead cow. Fish weren’t intelligent. Thank you.
Sal leaned on his arm and whispered a thoroughly indecent proposal, which reminded him what he hadn’t gotten in the last year, what with the course work and the computer time and all—a proposal that didn’t make a man think all that clearly about the value of his life and the necessity of getting out of this hellhole ...
“Yeah,” he said thickly, directing thoughts to getting his ass out of here and snagging Sal into the TI—and down to Stockholm. Sal was damned good. In several senses. “Yeah. —Meg, hate to leave you with the skuz there, —d’ you mind sitting on him?”
“Any way he can make it,” Meg said smugly. “Us freefallers are adaptable—how’s yourself, Ben?”
He was out of practice. Polite society did that. He actually felt his face warm. “Hell, ask Sal in a while.”
Sal hooked her arm in his and said, “Details later. Serious interpersonal relations. —You got a notion where, mate?”
“Whole damn room to ourselves,” he said. And elbowed the door open.
Dek said, “You want to dispose that?” and handed Meg the remnant of the milkshake. She went to the bath to dump it and came back to find Dek on his feet rummaging a locker—his, she figured, and hoped he wasn’t thinking of getting dressed. Her own back ached with the g-shift off the shuttle—she’d gotten soft, living on the Hamilton’s c-forced decks. It was the little muscles that hurt, the ones you used pulling your body around in freefall, a lot of them in unusual places, and she seriously didn’t want to face the guys outside....
“You’re not going to walk,” she said; he ignored the question, lifted a stack of folders in the top of the locker and said, sounding upset, “The tape’s gone.”
“What tape?”
“Sim tape. I guess they took it back to library. Damn sure they’ve been through here.”
“They?”
“MPs. Crash investigators. Whatever.”
“They already had the hearing, Dek. VIPs left this morning.”
He was looking white. He leaned one-handed against the locker frame and looked at nowhere. “I’m tracking, Meg.”
Meaning quit treating him like a spacecase. Joli jeune rab, face like a painted angel and a body language that said Screw you—in any sense you wanted to take it.
A lot like herself, truth was. But there had to come a moment in a lifetime when a person looked in the mirror and knew age had happened; and Dek was her mirror—that body and that face that carried all its worry-lines in muscle, not engraved permanently beside the mouth or around the eyes. Age had sneaked up on her; and Dek’s mama wasn’t older, she’d bet on it. So might be he didn’t want any forty-year-old woman putting the push on him. With his looks he’d have his pick of anybody out there, and probably had had, all his life—probably had damned well enough of everybody who saw him wanting him, and no few laying uninvited hands on him—pretty guy had that problem no less than anybody else; maybe more, because he was supposed to like it.
So back off the kid, Magritte Kady, and shut the hell up— he’s tired, he’s probably sick to death of being hit on, probably thinking hard how to finesse a middle-aged woman out of his bed tonight; and not doing real well with the words, is he?
Dek didn’t say anything. He wandered into the bath, ran water, came out again with his face and the front of his hair wet, and looked at her with eyes like a lost, battered kid’s.
She said, “Nothing comes with the package. I came here to haul your ass out. Not laying claim to it by any right. Isn’t as if I didn’t get something—I got back to inner system, didn’t I? So no debts. I owed you.”
Disturbed him, that. She saw the frown. He said, “How’s title arm?”
Half-thinking, she rotated the hand, lifted the arm. “Works.”
“Reflexes?”
She shrugged, moved the thumb that was a little stiff. “Age is, jeune rab. It does hit us all.”
“K?u aren’t old, Meg.”
Gallant jeune fils, too. She didn’t let the face react. Just the gut felt pain. She told it shut up and laid out the truth.
“Still not saying I should have been at the controls, on my best day. You pulled our asses out of a bad one, Dek, you got what I never had: if you want me on your team, all right, I’ll back you; or if you want me or Sal off it, you say mat too, right now, plain as plain, because I owe it to Sal. I’m forty and counting, arm isn’t what it used to be and it won’t be again. Sal’s young but she’s got experience to collect. That’s what you get. Can’t lie to you. No good doing that....”
He came closer. Looking into his face was a send-off; looking into his eyes was the deep dive, gravity well, painful as slow compression. His face went out of focus as he leaned and kissed her on the cheek—deeper hurt, that. But the jeune fils didn’t, couldn’t know....
“Call it even,” he said, then, “Paid is paid,” —but his hands traveled down and behind her. Came a light kiss on the mouth that shook a forty-year-old’s good sense. Another one that—
God.
“Don’t do that,” she said shakily, when she had a breath, and meant to crack some half-witted joke about their relative ages, but he said, “Bed, Meg,” and pulled her down on the bunk with him.
Not real copacetic, no, the jeune fils had far more ideas than substance left, but clothes and covers went one way and the other, boots mumped out from under the sheets, and a bunk that wasn’t designed for two meant real caution about putting an elbow into his sore spots. She did. But he said never mind, hell with the ribs, he didn’t care, if he was hallucinating he didn’t want to wake up, she could fly him to hell and gone, he’d take the nip—
Didn’t care. That was the operative word, that was the danger word she was hearing from him—but she didn’t know what to say on the instant but to punch him on the leg and say, “I’m damn well here, jeune rab. Shut up.”
Struck him funny, somehow. Didn’t recall as she’d ever seen him laugh like that, and there wasn’t much healthy about it; but he sort of snuggled down then, hugging her close, said, “Anything you want, Meg, whatever you like,” and started drifting out, little at a time.