After he didn’t respond for ten minutes, I continued digging my grave.
Sophie: It’s kinda a funny story. I giggled when it happened. But I know how you like to punish me so I understand if you must…
MC: Do you think it’s funny to disobey?
Our play that night was divine. He started it with a serious punishment session for my cunt with lots of hard fucking, and I was raw and aching from it. My breasts were sore and marked with red stripes from the tape I’d ripped from them. My muscles ached in my arms and legs as well from the exertion I’d put forth as he put me through my paces.
Sophie,
It pleases me tremendously that you have these aches and pains. The marks always serve as a reminder of past play and can conjure up some lustful memories.
So many more aches and pains to deliver. So many more marks to leave behind. You are shaping into a beautiful plaything and will continue to grow. The more we play, the more understanding we gain, the deeper the training sinks in. That delivers results.
Stay a good girl.
MC
But the longer we played online, the more frustrated I became. My brain knew I was getting exactly what I signed up for, but my body and my heart had begun to want more, and the two sides were growing further and further apart each day. I debated whether or not to talk with MC about it. On one hand I didn’t want to rock the boat and upset him, but on the other I was becoming increasingly unhappy with the status quo.
In many ways I was lonely. I’d even begun to consider asking Shelby or Jackie to set me up on a real live date with someone local, even though that wasn’t really what I wanted. I wanted more from MC. Finally one day, I gave in to my emotions and emailed him about it.
Dear Sir,
I am beginning to think that cyber is not fair. While on one hand I do like to hear about how hard your raging, chiseled hard cock is (I really do!), at the same time it makes me frustrated because I would really like a real one.
And the haunting thing—I hear your voice replayed in my head and think about you all the time, and I’m not sure how that is good. How can that possibly be good?
~Sophie
The minute I hit SEND, I wished I hadn’t. I sounded more like a petulant child than a grown woman, one who knowingly signed up for a sexual BDSM boot camp of sorts with absolutely no strings attached whatsoever. I was behaving selfishly and immaturely. Here I was, well into my training, and I wanted to change the rules. I wasn’t sure exactly what I wanted him to do, but more and more the cyber relationship didn’t fulfill me.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
The rest of the morning I tried to read, but I was too distracted checking my inbox to get very far. Finally I shut down the computer and took Felix for a walk as a distraction. I even went and picked up my favorite lunch to stay out of the house longer, but when I got back I received his reply.
Sophie,
My voice is real, my passion and lust for you is real. The memories are real. Memories are the single most dearest part of my very soul. My memories are mine and belong to no one else; they can’t be shaped, altered, ever be shared completely or taken away. I cling to them like precious gems hidden away, buried in darkness until I choose to sit and peruse them in my mind’s eye whenever I want. I can hold them, nurture and cherish them, and they will never disappear or betray me. They can conjure up a tremendous emotion of pure joy and pure sorrow, and add immeasurable value to my existence. I love experiencing life, if for no other reason but to look forward to collecting memories.
MC
Reading his words, my throat closed, and I swallowed hard. This was a different side of my Dom—a sensitive side. I wanted to reach out and touch him all the more, but instead I had to rely on our usual form of communication.
Dear Sir,
That was extraordinarily beautiful. It actually brought tears to my eyes, it was so lovely. You bring a certain dignity and a treasured quality to these memories with your words that I wouldn’t have thought to attribute to them.
You must possess a rich internal life. I myself am more externally focused, and I love experiencing life if for no other reason than to see how different people are, and how interesting life is. People fascinate me. Especially quirky, talented, or eccentric ones. Oh, and the weather. I’m fascinated by weather.
~Sophie
Sophie,
I’m touched that I “moved” you. I rarely share this side of myself because most people can’t internalize how powerful memories are, and it goes unappreciated.
A rich internal life. That may be. I think of myself more as quietly confident. I am very comfortable in my own skin. I like where I’ve been, where I am now, and where I’m going. I work hard at keeping things very simple in my life… I never surround myself with decadence or lavish goods, although I appreciate quality. I don’t give a damn about “keepin’ up with the Joneses,” nor do I care if the Joneses believe I’m behind in the race.
I hate small talk, and boring individuals who only want to talk about themselves. I am fascinated by people from all walks of life, all creeds, colors, and races and thoroughly enjoy exploring their family background and culture.
I do not dwell on my memories as that would be counterproductive, but rather I keep them in my pocket, readily available for “me time.”
We might be surprised at how much common ground we share based on working with children. I spend a good amount of time mentoring young people in my area in the realm of music. Children are very special, and they need our nurturing, guidance, and love. I’m a huge advocate of helping them build their own library of memories.
I’ve gone on way too long a tangent, and am now becoming one of those people I hate by talking too much about myself. I fear, perhaps, becoming too personal to keep my edge as a Dom.
Okay, the secrets out… I’m a person too.
Switching gears, what’s this about the weather? Also, I truly hope you are enjoying your training and its impact is having a positive influence.
Stay a good girl.
MC
Sir,
About the weather—I’m just fascinated by it. I love to watch those shows on cable, like Nature Unleashed and Wild and Wicked Weather. I hate that it harms people, but I’m obsessed with watching the extreme power of nature and what it can do.
I’m glad that you said that about memories, because not only was it beautiful, but it also gave me a new perspective. I like the idea of spending more time and energy cultivating my memories and enriching my internal life. See? There you go, making me grow in a whole new area. You’re good, you know that?
I’m with you on the Joneses. I was raised to be obsessed with what people think, where people judge you by how much you have or who you are, but I subscribe to that way of thinking less and less all the time. None of what you’ve told me affects how you are as a Dom to me, the edge you have. Because when you start with all that mean stuff—believe me—my mind forgets everything else! I am just transported.
Not gonna lie. I do love the training.