God, she thought, I'm so confused! Nothing seems to be what it seems! First Hero… coming into my life as a watch dog and companion but what is he now… my lover? Oh, it's just too much to cope with at once! That awful woman with her screeching voice and her fancy clothes and jewelry… and she turns out to be just another common criminal! A bad check artist and I thought she was a society lady! And myself… just another Navy wife, I always thought, nothing special. But a good wife… and a loyal one!
And now… just what am I now? A big screaming piece of my soul feels so ashamed, so smothered in lewdness that I'll never be able to scrub it clean. When that part of me fills my head with its vile words, I know what I am… a dog-fucking bitch! A sex pervert! And I could just go away somewhere and crawl into a hole and die from my shame!
But there's another part and it's every bit as persuasive and powerful as the first. Over and over it tells me I've done nothing wrong… that what happened was meant to happen. That I intended nothing evil, therefore what I did could not have been wrong. And I want to believe, I really do! I love Hero and I know it with my very heart and mind, but that doesn't mean I don't love Bob! It only means… Oh, dear God, what does it mean!? I don't know anymore, I just don't know!
Peggy saw the taillights flash on ahead of her and she stomped on the power brake as hard as she could, bringing the sedan to a rubber-scorching halt hardly a foot from the car in front. She tried to ignore the scowling countenance in the rear view mirror ahead, his lips mouthing a dozen obscenities.
Leaning out of the open window, she could see an almost endless line of stopped cars, some with their drivers standing limply outside in the scorching summer heat. And far down the line, flashing red lights and the mammoth hulk of a jack-knifed truck stretched across all four lanes like a beached whale. Oh no! I don't believe it!
What else could possibly happen!? What else!
Dottie Mangum decided to try a paperback, but that was as useless as watching television had been. And gardening. And sunbathing with the morning radio programs in her ear before that. Nothing seemed to help! As long as that mobile home was parked there next door, there would be only one thing on her mind… Peggy Davis' truly lovable new pet!
Sunday had been a bit easier as she had slept until shortly after noon and then she and Eddie went for a ride down along the coast at Virginia Beach, followed by a couple of hours in the sun there with the thousands of others, a quick seafood supper down at the beach and a pair of second-run movies at the drive-in with the top down on Eddie's tiny sports car, one of those little Italian Fiats that only seat two. That busy schedule had managed to keep the lid on her probing thoughts, though she and Eddie had talked about it often enough throughout the day. She had awakened with the lascivious image graven in her mind and she had to immediately rush into the living room where Eddie was going over some papers for the office and asked him again if it was all on the level. "You didn't make it all up, Eddie? I mean, just for a joke or something?" she had asked skeptically, and part of her actually hoped it had been a lie. That way she could just erase it from her thoughts and go on about her business as if nothing ever happened. Christ, she had even dreamed about her young blonde neighbor with that magnificent male animal! But no, Eddie was not going to let her off so easily… it was indeed true! Every lewd and obscene second of it and he used it like a sharp nail to get under her skin… now he could see what it was doing to her and he loved teasing her that way! Dottie Mangum, ol' hot pants herself, outdone by mousy little Peggy Davis! Oh, how he rubbed it in along with the suntan oil when they were stretched out on their blanket at the beach!
Ooooh, he was right, the bastard! It was driving her buggy! This image had somehow become implanted in her brain and she could not exorcise it no matter how hard she tried! She had not seen Peggy since Saturday, except for a moment as she left this morning for work. She glimpsed the young blonde from their living room window and she caught herself enviously eyeing her married neighbor as if she expected some drastic physical change to be apparent. Peggy had spotted her standing there and she waved in a friendly manner like nothing had ever happened! Oh, how could she! I've just got to know what it was like, I've got to! But I can't just go over and ask her over a cup of coffee. "Hi, Peggy, heard you fucked your dog this weekend. How'd it go?" No, damn it, I will just stop thinking about it! She flipped the television set back on and watched blankly as a quiz program rolled a few times and then came slowly into focus. The volume was turned off and she did not bother to change it… the show was a complete loss and she cared not at all to hear it as well.
With nothing more than the sheer strength of will, she blocked the whole incident out of her thoughts, forcing herself to think of different things, like an insomniac thinks of sheep. Slowly, like the picture that appeared on her television screen, she began to wearily think of the month's bills… this much for the doctors. A car payment due in before the sixth. Oh, and the pharmacist for Eddie's liniment prescription. It was working! She was finally getting that lewd image out of her head! She glanced up again at the television screen in time for a commercial break… Oh shit! I don't believe it! I just don't believe it!
She was laughing so hard that tears were streaming down her cheeks and she wanted more than anything to tell somebody, anybody. Still convulsing with laughter she reached for the telephone and dialed Eddie's office number… it was a dog food commercial! And there, right there on her living room TV was a big manly Doberman pinscher that could have been Hero's twin brother!
"Mr. Mangum, Mr. Randolph would like to see you in his office if it is convenient." Eddie's feet fell from the desk top to the floor in a resounding crash that he was immediately certain could be heard throughout the whole floor of offices and his hand went for the intercom button so nervously that he nearly knocked the intercom box from his desk.
"Yes, Miss Brooks, please tell him I'll be right there!" He was on his feet with the same blinding speed, checking his tie in the mirror-image of his glass door, nervously looking over his suit for spots or noticeable wrinkles. If it is convenient! Christ, it would be convenient at four in the morning on Christmas Eve if D. B. Randolph wanted to see him! Randolph was the big boss. The really big boss! Technically, he was chairman of the board of Randolph and Phitts, with ol' J. R. Phitts running the offices. He was in to see J. R. practically every day and they were as close to being friends as any top executive could be with one of his account men, but D. B. Randolph was something else again! He'd seen the top man only once, the day he came to work here and he was taken in like a new kid in school and introduced to the dour-faced senior officer who gave him something resembling a smile and a lukewarm handshake followed by a snorting grunt and that was it.
And now he was being summoned to the ol' boy's suite! Around here that had to mean one of two things… the boot or a promotion. Nobody ever saw Randolph for any other reason!
He tossed the account men's shared secretary, Linda Brooks, a wan smile as he hurried out the door of his tiny office and turned down the long paneled corridor that led to the executive suites.
"Good luck, Eddie," the pretty redhead offered and held up her hand to show that her fingers were crossed.
"Thanks… I hope I don't need it." Man, that little girl got better looking every day! He could remember when she had first taken the job – pudgy with baby-fat and her hair all teased and covered in a mist of hair spray. But somebody must have given her a few pointers! That rich red hair spilled over her shoulders and she had lost at least ten pounds. He cast her a quick appraising look as he rounded the corner – maybe she didn't lose it at all… she just shifted it around!