Behind the closed door, I stare at my hand. What the fuck is wrong with me? I look at my reflection in the mirror and think back to everything I have hated about myself over the years.
“Seven, you are too uptight,” Blue said, passing me a joint. “You’re the oddball of the family; let your hair down.” My brother always could find a way to make me feel alienated.
“Leave her alone, Blue.” Star sat down on the makeshift bed next to me, taking the joint from my hand and pressing it between her pink lips. “Making fun of her isn’t going to change who she is. She shouldn’t have to change anyway. She is fine the way she is,” she continued, looking at my brother with disgust. She hated him, absolutely loathed everything about him.
“Whatever. She is fucking useless, anyway,” he said while he stood to walk away, with the joint secured between his fingers. “I’m outta here; see you bitches later.”
I shook my head, and thanked my lucky stars he was finally leaving.
“He is such a dick.” I turned to Star and laid my head in her lap. I never got used to the verbal abuse from my older brother. He made it clear my entire life that I was never wanted. Not by him, and certainly not by my parents. He was thirteen when I was born, and resented me every day since.
“Don’t listen to him, Seven. He is only trying to get you upset.” Star ran her fingers through my hair. “I’m gonna head out for a little bit. You gonna be okay alone?” she asked with genuine concern.
“Yeah, I actually think I’m going to go out for a walk by the lake. It’s a clear night; I want to see the stars.”
I stood up and made my way out of the old bus. I never thought I would come back hours later to my best friend, and the woman I loved, fucking my brother.
Looking up at the bathroom mirror, I want to punch it. Smash it into a thousand pieces while we fly somewhere over the massive Atlantic Ocean. I rip my hooded sweatshirt off, tossing it onto the floor of the tiny airplane bathroom floor. Gazing down at my tattoo-covered arms, I run my finger across a long, thin scar, jagged across my wrist, now covered by a vibrant blue rose. When I had all the scars from my years of cutting covered up, I privately hoped it would help to cover the memories that drove me into self-harm. The years have helped repress the memories, but they will never fully be gone.
Turning on the sink, I splash some water on my face; I pull the bun out of my hair and let it flow wildly down my back. I open the door, and return to my seat, a different person than I was when I left Levi’s side. As much as I don’t want to admit it, there has to be some kind of multiple personality disorder creeping within my broken soul.
“Everything okay, Seven?” He runs his gaze over my bare arms, and back to my face.
“Fine,” I shortly reply.
Levi shifts uncomfortably in his seat, trying to put space between us. I guess my mood radiates through the air. “Marilyn as in Monroe, huh?”
His question catches me off guard. I didn’t expect him to put it together, but I also forgot about the Marilyn Monroe shirt I’d chosen for my trip. “Yeah.” I turn to face him, breaking a small hint of a smile for him.
“Mind me asking about what happened with Daniel?”
“I called him into my office yesterday.” I had, and I wasn’t nice at all.
“What in the fuck do you think you’re doing, announcing our past to the board?” I screamed the moment he walked through my office door. Once the latch clicked, my temper unleashed. His face showed no sign of remorse.
Shrugging his shoulders he replied, “I didn’t think it would get back to you.”
What the fuck kind of explanation was that?
“And that makes it okay?” I stomped toward him, rounding my desk, wanting to lay him out with a single punch.
“Seven, you know how guys are.” He lifted his hand up in defense.
“How ‘guys are?’ Seriously, Daniel? This is a fucking business, not a frat house.” My pulse raced, and my face stayed pressed into a firm scowl.
“I’m going to have to ask you to leave for the day while I work with human resources on how to handle this. Please do not return until I call you.” I turned, striding behind my desk and sitting down. I looked up to wave him off; he was frozen in shock.
“What?” he asked, dazed and confused. Had he thought I would just let him walk all over me? Ha!
“You heard exactly what I said, Daniel. You are to leave until I call you. This is not something that will be taken lightly. Insubordination, and sexual harassment, is a serious boardroom problem, and it will not be tolerated. You are dismissed.” I picked up the phone, dialing HR, as he walked for the door.
“You are going to regret this, Seven.” He tried to get the last word in, just before Ellen, the director of HR picked up the phone.
I countered, “Not nearly as much as you, Daniel.”
The door closed and I set up a meeting with Ellen, bringing her up to speed with the newest issue on my plate of overflowing nonsense at Alexander Mobile.
I explain the Cliff’s Notes version of the morning, filling Levi in on Ellen’s suggestion of removing him from the board of directors, something that made me absolutely giddy. His fuck up wasn’t part of my original takeover plan, but it worked out perfectly.
“Wow, well, I can’t say that scumbag didn’t deserve it,” Levi says. Aren’t these guys supposed to like each other?
“Aren’t you friends with Daniel?”
He smiles like the Cheshire Cat. “Seven, I hate the guy. Have you ever heard of the term ‘frienemies?’” Maybe Levi would be a more valuable asset than I originally thought?
“Yeah, I guess. I never thought men actually acted that way.” I shrug, and pull my laptop out to tackle some work before we touch down in London in a couple hours.
“Seven, he is a piece of shit. He cheats on his wife, and he cheats in business, but everyone has to be nice to him because of his position. Well, had to, I guess.” He scrolls through his cell phone, as he types on the keys of his Blackberry. He tosses the phone onto the tiny tray in front of him in a huff.
I wonder whether or not I should even ask. If it was anyone else, I am positive I wouldn’t. I care; I refuse to admit it, but I do.
My heart thumps in my ears, while I stop eying my own e-mail, and I turn to face him. “Everything okay?” Praying he shrugs me off, I start to turn away. I feel his finger run down my arm, stopping when it reaches my wrist.
“Can I talk to you as a friend, because I think that’s what I need right now. Not a lover, or a boss. But a genuine friend,” he pleads with me.
I can’t help but be the friend he needs right now. I lock my fingers with his, and give his hand a squeeze. “Yeah, I can be that friend.” The walls I have been carefully building to keep him out continues to crumble. As I repair each missing brick, another falls at the other end. I’m fighting a losing battle, and there is nothing I can do about it.
It is a scary feeling. I have been so careful to remain in control of my post-Daniel life, and here Levi is, carefully breaking down every defense I have carefully orchestrated over the years.
“My ex-wife is a real bitch. She is doing everything she can to squeeze more money out of the alimony settlement; she already gets over thirty grand a month. I don’t know what game she’s playing, but she’s threatening me with personal shit now. I don’t know what else to do.” His fingers run through his messy brown hair, as he leans his head back against the plush leather plane seat, and he lets out a deep sigh.