The room to which Marvin was heading was locked from the outside, much to the annoyance of it's occupants. They had tried everything they could think of with the candle, box of matches and blank piece of paper they had been left. Lighting the candle with the matches only lit the candle and trying to push the key out with the matches to catch on the piece of paper pushed under the door had no effect. The key was a dud anyway. Trying to burn the door down showed desperation and was doomed from the start but supplied some excuse to vent anger. The same applied to trying to kick down the door.
"There must be a logical solution," said Fenchurch.
"Why?" Asked Bolo. "There's no logical explanation as to why we ended up here, is there?"
"Well it's all very improbable," sighed Trillian. "So I imagine the men had something to do with it as they were using the Heart of Gold tonight."
"Why don't we try burning the matches and writing a note on the paper with the burnt sticks, slip it under the door and perhaps someone will see it," said Fenchurch.
"It's worth a try," said Trillian.
"No it's not," said Marvin as the door slid open to a jovial 'happy service'.
"Marvin!" Cried Trillian. She flung her arms around him. "Are we glad to see you."
"No you're not," sulked Marvin.
"We are," said Fenchurch. "We thought we'd be stuck here for days."
"How did you open the door?" Asked Trillian.
"Simple," said Marvin. "I said 'Macaroni'."
"Is that logical?" Asked Fenchurch.
"Look," started Marvin, making it perfectly clear he didn't want to. "If you had held the paper over the candle lit by the matches, then the word 'Macaroni' would have appeared."
"I take it this is the Marvin you told me about," said Bolo.
"Well it sounds like him," said Trillian. "Marvin, I thought you were, er....."
"Yes, so did I," moaned Marvin. "Come on, we've got work to do."
CHAPTER 55
Zaphod, Ford and Arthur were in a long hallway with a door at the end and one either side of them. Their search for Marvin had been fruitless.
"Where on Betelgeuse is that robot?" Asked Ford.
"Perhaps he's behind one of these doors," said Arthur in his best 'I'll offer a solution but someone else can follow it up type voice.
"Only one way to find out," said Zaphod as he raised his Neutron-Breaking Desolation Ray Gun. A roar reminiscent of a Disaster Area power chord overwhelmed Ford's cries of disagreement. The door at the end of the corridor wasn't any longer. However, making quite an impressive replacement for it was a Ravenous Bug-Blatter Beast of Traal. Zaphod and Arthur felt considerably more threatened by that than they did by the door. Zaphod disappeared through the door to Ford's right, Arthur through the door on Ford's left.
"Don't run," yelled Ford to two slammed doors. He quickly threw his towel over his head, having read many years ago in the Guide that the Ravenous Bug-Blatter Beast of Traal is so stupid, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you. The beast brushed past Ford disappointed at losing its prey so quickly. Ford thanked his lucky stars and galaxies that for once the Guide wasn't hypocriful or wildly misleading.
Arthur found himself in a long thin corridor. Above him were four huge green girders and above these was an ominous void. Arthur held his gun firmly in his hand, or as firmly as his sweaty palms would allow. He looked up between two of the girders and to his horror saw rows of coloured creatures forming above him. In panic he took a pot shot at them and to his surprise he hit one. The creature disappeared, but there was another right on top of the recently created space. Arthur's pot shot obviously angered the creatures because they all started scuttling to the right in unison and firing back. Arthur dived under a girder. Drawing a deep breath, he leapt between two girders and fired furiously at the creatures, watching for the counter fire. The creatures kept changing their direction and dropping closer to the girders. Arthur was so overjoyed at clearing a column, he didn't notice the lightening bolt until it was too late. He was sent flying. As soon as he scrambled to his feet, the creatures started firing again. Arthur noticed the bolts were eating into his protective girders and the creatures were getting lower. He decided to give up on the passing space ships. He had hit one by mistake and all that happened was that the number 200 appeared in the void. Arthur didn't have the time to ponder the significance of this. He just kept on firing.
Zaphod, meanwhile, found himself in a zoo. At least that's what he thought it was. He was standing by a glass cage looking at four curious animals. They looked like mutated octopi, with short stubby tentacles that they used to move around on.
Zaphod looked around. "No other animals," he thought. "Shoddy zoo really." The rest of the area looked like a maze but an easy one because he could see no dead ends. There was a weird underfloor lighting system that had lights about every two feet.
"Definitely a zonko designer. And this awful music." Zaphod obviously touched someone's nerve, for the cage door sprang open and the animals streamed out after him. His legs reacted faster than his brain, having predicted the usual message.
Zaphod was right about the zonko designer. The underfloor lighting seemed to 'short' each time one of Zaphod's feet pounded nearby. He could only see two exits and headed for the nearest one, only to find that the entrance to one was the exit to the other. This was geometrically impossible as they were opposite to each other, but Zaphod didn't have time to let this concern him. The animals were closing in on him like market researchers in the high street.
Zaphod turned left at a T-junction by a wall only to find himself in a corner, with two animals coming at him from each direction. By the time he got his Heat-Seeking Davy Knife out, he was leapt upon by the animals, which proceeded to kick the proverbial out of him with their stubby tentacles until he passed out.
When he came around, he was outside the cage. He stood up and rattled the animal's cage, which was enough for them to escape again. Zaphod's legs went into automatic.
Arthur was doing reasonably well. He had been hit again but gamely got up and had reduced the creatures down in numbers to two. These two had doubled their speed and were now skimming across the tops of the girders.
Arthur stood under what was left of one girder and waited. As they passed he leapt out, blasted one and leapt back before the other one could fire back. Arthur now stood in the open. One on one seemed a lot fairer. He raised his gun slowly and pointed upwards. The creature zoomed above as Arthur's first shot disappeared into the void. The second shot didn't miss. The door at the end of the corridor swung open and light flooded in. Arthur blew away the imaginary smoke from the top of the gun and walked into the light.
Zaphod was doing a bit better. He had found some brighter lights that turned the animals blue with fear when he ran over them. He could squash the animals when they were blue, and took great pleasure in doing so. This in turn made him a bit cocky, he stood still and teased the animals, running over a bright light just when they thought they had him. Pretty soon he had darkened the majority of the area and had even squashed some fruit some idiot had left in his path. He had one light to go and stood by it proudly as the animals homed in on him once more.