Struggling for calm, he said, "Apparently I've made the right decision."
She took a deep breath, obviously torn. And damn her, but he wanted to know why. "I'm sorry," she said, turning away. "I'll go-"
"No," he said quickly, his heart twisting at the thought. Reaching for her hips, he turned her to face him. "If you left now, Nellie would never forgive me. I meant what I said, Haley. Stay. You're safe here."
She leaned back to look at him, bracing her hands against his chest. He wanted to think it was because she just had to touch him, but knew by her expression that she did it to force his distance.
"I just meant," she said, looking uncertain, "that I should go get breakfast started." She hesitated. "I wasn't lying when I said I was on the run, Cam. I appreciate the place to stay."
Worry had a taste, he discovered. Bitter. She wasn't lying about the terror, no one could be so convincing. "Why won't you let me help?"
"You can't."
"It's dangerous," he stated flatly. Questions raced through his head, and so did that insidious gut-wrenching fear that he was being a fool-again. But he understood pressuring her would do no good. And he wasn't about to start sounding like a nagging husband. No way. Not again. "It's seeing you so stressed that gets to me. It's not right."
"I'm used to stress," she said carefully, removing herself from his arms to cross hers over her chest. "It's this other I'm not so used to."
"'Other'?"
Looking uncomfortable, she pulled back. "This… You know."
He couldn't help it, he laughed. It relieved him to know she was as hopelessly attracted as he was. "No, I don't know. Tell me."
"I'm not used to you, all right?" She glared at him when he tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. "You touch me a lot, you know that?"
He touched her some more. "Yeah. I noticed you usually touch me back."
The sound that escaped her was more like a growl than a sigh. Her hands fisted. "You think I don't know that?" Looking confused, she shook her head. "This is all very new for me, Cameron. And I have to be honest, I don't think I like it. Not one little bit."
So they were back to full names. "You know what I think, Haley? I think you like it plenty. It just makes you nervous. Well, that's fine, really it is. I told you we can't do this without honesty, and I meant it. If you want to meander through this thing until you trust me, that suits me just fine. Take your time, darlin', that's just my speed, anyway." He met her disturbed gaze and found himself lost in those heavenly blue eyes. "To be honest, I'm not sure I can walk away."
"Cam-"
"But I have to try. I'm not going to lie to you and say this thing between us isn't pleasant. It is. It's the most pleasant thing that's happened to me in a long time. But I can't do it your way."
"If… if I wanted to do this your way," she said haltingly, her voice so low he had to bend close, "all I'd have to do is tell you about me?"
"Yes."
She looked doubtful. "You mean I'm in charge?"
His smile was more grim than amused. "When it comes to the affairs of the heart, you women rule the world. The power is all yours. Us men just get to sit back and beg for favors."
Her mouth hung open a little in surprise, as if that thought had never occurred to her, and in another time and place he might have laughed.
She clasped her hands tightly together and ducked her head. "I've always considered myself a loner," she said quietly, touchingly shy. "And I can tell you, no one ever begged me for favors."
"No?"
"No."
Her unexpected admission banished some of his frustration. "I would have."
She ignored that. "I don't seem to work too well with others."
"You've worked fine here."
"I mean with others … as in a male-female type of relationship."
"I see," he said slowly, though in truth he didn't. "But there's no one here but us, and we do okay."
"That's because you don't really know me. Believe me, if you did, you wouldn't want to…" She trailed off, obviously embarrassed.
"I wouldn't want to what?" He moved toward her again, reaching for her. "I wouldn't want to be with you? Haley, darlin', I don't mean to doubt your intelligence, here, but that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say."
She laughed, surprising him. So he squeezed her waist gently, until she looked at him. "All you have to do is tell me. Tell me everything."
"I… need to think."
"Okay."
"And I want to work here for a while longer," she said quietly. "It's probably unfair to all of you, but that's what I want to do."
"That's what I want you to do, too."
"You don't hate me?"
Was she serious? "No, Haley, I don't hate you."
"I want to be friends."
"Friends with Nellie, you mean."
"Yes. And Zach and Jason."
"Oh."
"And you," she said.
His eyes narrowed as he realized where this was going. "Friends. You want to be friends with me. Just like with Zach and Jason."
She nodded emphatically. "I don't know how long I'll be here and it'd be nice if we all got along-"
"Friends," he repeated, interrupting her without a qualm. "And you don't know how long you'll be here." He nodded as if he understood perfectly, while his thoughts whirled with confusion. Had he been the only one to be completely bowled over by that last kiss? No, he remembered, she'd been just as affected. To prove it, he still had the fingernail indentations on his arms where she'd gripped on to him for dear life.
"So, one of these days," he said conversationally, "you'll just wake up and decide-it's time to move on. And you'll go. Just like that."
Her eyes locked on his, she nodded. "Just like that."
He stared at her. God, she had his stomach in knots like it hadn't been since… He straightened. He didn't need this. He'd already told her he was walking away. He just needed to do it. Forcing calm, he took a deep breath. "That's fine," he said smoothly, maybe a little stiffly. Purposefully, he moved his hands from her hips to his.
He'd play it her way, for now.
Then her gaze lowered over him and color rose in her cheeks. He looked down, too, and realized he hadn't pulled on any clothes when he'd heard her barreling up the steps earlier.
If she didn't stop staring at his body like that, she was going to get a quick, very hard, surprise. Confident enough not to cringe, and male enough to take pride in her obvious approval, he shrugged and sighed, weathering the moment. "Sorry." He moved toward the adjoining bathroom door.
She made a soft sound, one that, unless he was mistaken, was of muffled yearning. He became instantly aroused. Because she'd annoyed the hell out of him, and because he was suddenly feeling mischievous and a little defiant, he casually turned back toward her, watching her eyes follow the line of his body, down his chest-and stop.
She gasped, and he hid his satisfied smile as he shut the bathroom door in her face.
"Friends-like hell," he told his reflection in the mirror as he flipped on the shower and dropped his shorts. She wanted him. He grinned and soaped up.
Haley waited until she heard the water come on before she sank down on the foot of his bed.
If there was a sexier man alive, she couldn't imagine who.
That night Haley wrote in her journal, putting down the words on a legal pad for lack of anything else. To ease her mind from the South American nightmare, she described how she felt, knowing that Cam had meant what he said-they couldn't have anything together until she was prepared to offer him the truth and make him believe it. Well, that truth could kill him. She'd made the right decision.