Still wasn’t his idea of a good time, crashing.
The instant Becki was clear from the wall, he snapped out his order. “Lower.”
“Lowering. Walk your way to the left a little, if possible.”
Alisha released the line smoothly, and Marcus breathed a sigh of relief as they passed the fifteen-foot marker. The ten. When they reached the floor, his ass coming to a nice easy landing, he glanced to the side to discover why Alisha had issued her strange warning to move to the left. She lay flat on her back, butt to the wall and legs extended toward the ceiling. She’d jammed her feet against a couple of larger holds and slipped the rope under her body to get enough leverage to counter the double weight.
He’d praise her ingenuity later. Now his attention was on the woman in his arms.
“Becki, we’re down. Come on.”
He was ready to lay her out and check her over when she sat up and blinked in confusion. “Marcus?”
“Yeah.”
She frowned, a crease appearing between her brows as she looked around them, at the tangle of ropes, their positioning on the mat. She glanced at the wall, then back at him.
“Why are you—?” Her eyes widened in panic. “Oh, no.”
Her struggles to stand were hindered by the ropes still connecting them. “It’s okay. You’re fine. No one got hurt.”
Her lips pressed into a thin line as she scrambled at the knot securing the rope to her waist belt.
Alisha stepped over, helping to straighten the tangled mess. “You want a hand with the knot, Marcus?”
“No, but thank you.” He tapped her on the shoulder. “Get yourself a massage at the hot springs if you want one. On my tab.”
Her face lit up. “Deal.” She glanced at the other woman, her concern clear. “Becki, you need anything?”
“She’ll be okay,” Marcus cut in. “Grab your stuff, and you’re free to go.”
Alisha slid her gaze off Becki as she nodded. “See you tomorrow at seven. Becki, I’ll call.”
The young woman fled the gym, pretty much as Marcus hoped she would. This next part would be better done without any witnesses. He covered Becki’s fingers and stilled her attempt at the rope. “Slow down. We need to talk.”
“No, I need to get the hell out of here.”
“Because you had a panic attack?” Marcus circled her wrists with his fingers and pinned her in position. “Nothing happened. It worked out fine.”
“Nothing happened?” she shouted. Becki jerked her hands back, but he refused to release her. She set her jaw and glared. “I don’t know what happened, Marcus, that’s the trouble. My God, I did it again. I blacked out. What—”
She closed her eyes and stiffened, trembling shaking her limbs. Marcus loosened his grip, instead stepping in closer to catch hold of her neck and pull her tight against his body. She stood stiffly, her head tucked under his chin, arms rigid at her sides. At least until he’d held her for a couple of minutes, breathing slowly, willing her to relax. Willing her to put it behind her.
When she snuck her arms around him and squeezed him tight, it was his turn to finally take a real breath.
Becki lifted her hands to his chest and pushed them apart. “I’m sorry. Panic doesn’t help. Neither does shouting. Thank you. I assume you had to rescue my ass.”
He nodded. “Alisha helped. You’ll want to thank her as well.”
“Great, there goes my hero status.” Becki shook her head. “Well, I wasn’t that keen on being the climbing goddess anyway.”
She pulled the rope end from the figure eight and loosened herself in short order now that she wasn’t shaking.
“You’ve still got a lot to offer the team. This doesn’t change anything.”
Becki looked at him like he’d grown another head. “It changes everything. You can’t be serious. You’re not still thinking about trusting me with your team?”
“You thinking of giving up? Quitting completely and finding a new job?”
Her head dropped, but only for a second. Then she stared at him intently. “Never. I will get over this. I don’t know when—”
“And if I offer to train you, like you offered me, you think you can find anyone or any place better to help you take those steps? Or a better time than right now to start?”
Becki undid the waist belt connections, letting the heavy harness fall to the floor with a sudden crash. “No. No, and no. Damn you, Marcus, you’re turning this into another training session, and I was supposed to be all grown up and doing the teaching this time.”
“Can I help it if you forgot a few of the lessons I taught you? I’m offering a refresher.”
He shouldn’t have taken it there. Not now, not when she was still freshly terrified. But hell if he was going to let her run away. Or even walk—this was too important.
Something about seeing her freeze had changed everything. It was no longer just sexual interest he felt, the lingering desire to get physical. Her panic had triggered an emotion he hadn’t experienced in what seemed to be forever.
The need to get emotionally involved—to make a difference. This time on a personal level, not something worthwhile but generic like the distraction of his rescue squad.
It was as if embers had been stirred under him, cracking the icy core inside him. The desire to focus on something other than the misery he spent so much energy hiding from the team. His personal ghosts had haunted him for far too long, and by now he never expected them to go away. He’d accepted his occasional nightmares as unavoidable, but allowing her to suffer if there was any way to help was unacceptable.
Making sure that Becki didn’t have to deal with unanswered questions for the next four years of her life—it was a good goal to which to turn his considerable attention. If he had to smack her with the one common denominator they’d had all those years ago—sex—he’d damn well take advantage of it.
Her expression changed from indignation to passion before she snapped a lid on her control.
Marcus didn’t let up. “Together we’ll train the team. Outside of that time, you will train me and help me figure out how to use this arm as well as I used to. In exchange, I will train you, and we’ll get to the bottom of whatever the hell happened to you.”
“What if it never comes? What if everything stays a mystery?” she demanded.
“Then we concentrate on getting you back to climbing.” He broke eye contact, focusing instead on freeing his own rope. “The mind is a curious thing, Becki. Maybe you won’t ever know exactly what happened during the accident. Doesn’t mean you can’t learn to climb and not have to worry about freezing.”
She blew out a long, unsteady breath. “So that’s what happened?”
“Yeah.” He was finally loose, straightening the rope and allowing it to fall smoothly into place against the wall. “Wait. That’s another thing on the list.”
“There’s a list?”
He glanced up, pleased to see she was smiling a little. “There’s always a list with me.”
Oh yeah. Her eyes heated. “What did I miss this time?”
“You will not apologize if—and that’s if, not when—you need to be saved again.”
Becki stared at the wall. “Bloody sadist.”
“Not at all. I won’t enjoy a minute of it if you don’t want me to.”
She snorted, then gathered her things. “Why do I feel as if I signed up for something way worse than what you put your team through? And by the way, even if you’re not a sadist, you’re a mean son of a bitch. You called them out of bed after taking them for wings and drinks last night?”