Guilt and confusion made lousy analytical tools. “Maybe? We were comfortable. We weren’t in love.”
Erin sat back and sipped her drink for a minute. “I had a guy once. We were close, same kind of thing—good together in bed, enjoyed each other’s company to a point. It wasn’t perfect, but it was . . . there. A constant. Like you said, comfortable.”
Becki gazed over at Erin curiously. “What happened to him?”
“It got uncomfortable. Not sure if it was him or me that changed. I decided I had to move on. Did I miss him for a while? Hell, yeah. There’s nothing like a guy you’ve trained to know what you like in bed.”
She wanted to laugh at Erin’s blunt comments, but Becki’s mind was racing. “I do miss Dane. Miss the company. I feel guilty, like there was something more I could have done, and I’m not talking about the missing pieces of what happened that day.”
“Like you should have loved him more? If only you had . . . Oh, girl, don’t do that to yourself. And more importantly, don’t go thinking what you had means you can’t ever have again.”
Becki paused. “What does that mean?”
Erin sat forward, fully focused. She lifted a finger at Becki. “What if you had been in love with Dane? Head over heels, rings on fingers, bells on toes, all of it. And he died. Don’t think how, just think—he’s gone. Would you really put on sackcloth and sit in the ashes for the rest of your life?”
“Of course not.”
“Would you ever think about getting involved with another person?”
“You’re making this sound simple.”
“It is simple.” Erin shook her head. “If you’re not ready to fool around, then you’re not ready. Get a fresh set of batteries, or invest in a movable showerhead, whatever turns your crank. But if you are interested and you’ve got a guy who’s pawing at your door, don’t go tacking some self-imposed timeline to the grieving process. You can miss the hell out of one guy while you’re boning the hell out of another.”
Becki lost it. She laughed so hard she ended up gasping for air. Erin sat and silently observed, one brow raised high, a smirk on her face. “Glad to be of service. I’ll be here all week, try the veal.”
CHAPTER 15
Something had changed. Marcus eyed Becki closely, but he just couldn’t put his finger on it.
She’d run the team through the most creative exercise that morning that required them to climb the peaks beside the hoodoos and lower the “bodies” they’d found. The light layer of snow that remained from last night’s fall had turned everything to sheer mud by the time the sun had come out to bake them for a couple of hours.
Still, even grubby the squad had worked together amazingly, and the dirt and grime seemed to pull them together even more than a good clean session in the gym.
Becki clapped loudly. “Great job, guys. Amazing.”
Tripp took a bow. “Nice exercise. Where did you get the bodies?”
Devon stepped closer, a mud-coated mannequin under each arm. “And do we have to return them?”
“Why, you looking for a date?” Alisha taunted. A unified chorus of ooohs rose as she curtsied. “Thank you, thank you. Although yes, totally wicked exercise, Becki. Thanks for training us today.”
“Brownnoser,” Devon whispered.
Becki laughed. “Drop the bodies in the back of Marcus’s truck, then you’re free to go. Enjoy your Monday off.”
“But don’t even think of being late on Tuesday. You start at oh five hundred with flash first-aid scenarios.” Marcus accepted their groans with a nod. “Go on. I’ll make it oh six hundred if you’re all out of here in under five minutes.”
Their screeches of joy were deafening, people scattering in a rush.
Becki leaned on the side of the truck bed, her arms crossed in front of her, a smile on her face. “Softie.”
“What? Can’t let you be the only good guy around here.”
She laughed. “Right, like you’re worried about competing with me. They totally look up to you. I can see why Lifeline’s done so well over the years.”
Okay, there it was again. “Compliments now. I’d think you were looking for something from me, but I’m not ordering you to get out of bed at the ass-crack of dawn.”
“Just calling it like I see it.”
He leaned over and adjusted one of the mannequins the crew had tossed haphazardly in the back of his truck. “What do you want to do with the girls? And the team was right, inspired training session, by the way.”
Becki jumped up on the edge of the truck box, twisting to sit beside where he rested his elbows. “Thanks. It’s always more fun to have to rescue a real body, but breathing, flesh-and-blood types tend to complain when you bury them in the mud for too long.”
Her arms were bare, and streaks of dirt coated her, not as badly as the rest of the fake bodies beside her, but still. He touched her arm delicately, smearing a blob down her bicep. “You need a shower nearly as bad as they do.”
“Hmm.”
Marcus looked up, and the heat in her eyes made him twitch. He’d been dreaming about her looking at him like that, seeing yes written all over her face—he wasn’t sure if maybe he was imagining it. “You want to help me clean them?”
“I don’t suppose we can lash them down and run through the automatic car wash?” Her voice had gone silky. Stroking him and flipping every damn one of his switches past on, all the way to high.
“Someone would call the RCMP and suggest we’d done mass murder. What about the shower room at the school?” Where we both can get naked after the props are clean, and get dirty all over again?
Becki licked her lips slowly, her gaze trailing over him like she was one second away from consuming something delicious. “I think that’s a marvelous idea.”
Hot. Fucking. Damn.
He stepped to the side, between her legs, and leaned against her.
She lifted her hands into the air. “Marcus, I’m covered in mud.”
“You think I care?”
He reached for her, but she caught hold of his wrist in midair, blocking his left forearm against hers. “I’m not saying no. I’m saying I don’t want to coat the inside as well as the outside of your precious truck with mud.”
“I don’t give a shit about the mud.” He dropped his forehead to hers. “But since you’re not saying no, I’ll be patient and wait. Only, kiss me first.”
“Just a kiss?”
“Down payment. Appetizer. Something to hold me off from ravishing you right here against the side of my truck.”
Becki swallowed hard. Interesting reaction. Marcus filed that idea under future places to fuck Becki mindless.
Then he wasn’t thinking anything because she lifted her chin and touched their mouths together. Lips open, breaths mingling. Her tongue reaching out to tease his.
He wanted to eat her alive. He was going to at some point. But now? He soaked her into his system and learned her all over again. The softness as she moved her lips over his. The sharp snap along his spine as she closed her teeth over his lip and nipped. The gentle caress as she broke contact, then stroked their cheeks together.
“How fast can you get to the school?” The words whispered past his ear.
He lifted her off the box, down his body, groaning at the pressure as she rubbed against his full cock. They scrambled in different directions, settling into the cab. She was still buckling up as he put the truck into gear and spun out the tires.
“Do you have to return the girls?” he asked again. Never had discovered whether the mannequins she’d had the team doing cliff rescue with were loaners.