He leaned back in his chair, stretching his legs toward her and casually tangling their limbs together. “Plans for the rest of the day?”
“Want to go for a walk?”
Marcus glanced out the window and grimaced. “In the rain?”
She shrugged. “We won’t melt. I should get back to the dorms afterward anyway.”
He nodded, busying himself cleaning their dishes. Becki stared at the rain marks trickling down the window and wondered how long it would take before she learned everything that was missing. Wondered if as the memories returned she’d be able to face the wall again without having heart palpitations at the thought of doing an actual climb.
Marcus loaded her bag into her car, and they drove in separate vehicles to the trailhead of Lake Minnewanka.
It was only after they were thoroughly soaked and she was back in her dorm room alone that she realized he’d been strangely quiet all afternoon. They’d discussed local climbing routes and trips they’d enjoyed, but she’d probably done the lion’s share of the talking.
Becki pulled a few sheets of paper from the desk and took notes about the new things she’d remembered about the accident, but writing the details down didn’t give her as much satisfaction as she expected.
Frustrated, she collapsed onto the bed and stared at the ceiling, flipping through all the reasons for the sudden itch under her skin, and it hit her. What she wanted was to be seated in the same room as Marcus. They didn’t have to be talking, or fooling around. Just there. She wanted to be able to look at him and have him smile back at her before he returned to whatever task he was working on.
The realization simultaneously pissed her off and made her wonder.
CHAPTER 22
The dreams returned that night, leaving her confused and bewildered. Small teasers into what might have happened plus the new play-by-play all mixed together and shook her until she once again woke in a cold sweat.
There wasn’t enough coffee to deal with a morning like this. She stirred the dark liquid again and again, wondering where the line was between being pleased that her memories kept moving forward, and being scared to death.
Her phone rang—and the way she reacted to the tone she’d assigned to Marcus emphasized how much she’d appreciated having his comforting touch the previous time she’d had a nightmare.
Stupid reactions. She was a grown woman. He couldn’t hold her hand all the time. Time to distract herself and redeem the rest of the day. “Morning, Marcus. What evil things have you devised for your team today?” she asked.
He sighed wearily. “I’m so misunderstood.”
“Right.” She could picture him leaning back in his chair, long legs stretched out as he grinned at her. “I’m not feeling the sincerity in that.”
“You should talk. I read your training plans for them for the coming week. I’m going to lose my Evil Lord title to you by Wednesday. Hey—you had self-rescue on the list for today. Interested in taking the crew to the Cliffs of Insanity for that exercise instead of using the wall?”
“Really? That would be perfect, only I wasn’t going to make them hike that far since they’re doing other conditioning already.”
“We’ll do a drop. Erin is flying patterns, and hovering in that area is good for her.”
A rush of absolute terror stopped Becki from being able to answer right away. He expected her to rappel to the training area. She stared out the window and attempted to keep the little coffee she’d swallowed from coming up on her.
“Becki? You still there?”
“Just, I don’t think I can do that, not yet, Marcus. The wall would be better.”
His confusion was clear. “You can’t do what?”
The words came out broken as she whispered, “Rappel from the chopper.”
“Oh God, no, Becki. I didn’t mean you.” His deep voice soothed her even as her heart continued to race. “Erin will land the bird so you and I can hop out. Yes, you’d have to feel comfortable getting in the beast, but I thought you should be okay in the cargo bay. If you’re game.”
Becki took a deep breath. “Okay. Yes, I think I can handle that. Sorry for panicking.”
“I should have been clearer,” he apologized. “I’ll come and pick you up in an hour to hit the shop. We’ll gather equipment there.”
She promised to be ready and hung up, the phone dangling from her fingertips as she leaned her head against the cold glass and looked over the grey day, wondering if this was a really bad move, or if it would end up simply being another step on her way to full recovery.
One thing was certain. There was nothing wrong with her hormones. Other than they were still trigger-happy anytime she got around Marcus. He pulled to the curb and hopped out, grabbing her gear bag and tossing it in the back. She wavered on her feet before choosing to ignore the urge to steal a kiss, instead yanking open the door and crawling into the passenger seat.
Marcus checked her out slowly before closing the door for her. She focused forward, fingers locked together, nervous about the upcoming chopper trip, confused by how awkward she felt being with him and not sure what stage of affection to show.
The ten-minute ride to the field was far quieter than she’d expected.
The silence that had surrounded them as he drove was only made more shocking when contrasted with the high volume of voices and shouting they discovered in the storage bay. Becki leaned against the wall out of the way of the action and simply observed as the team pulled together the equipment Tripp called out.
It was loud and wild and totally good-natured, and some of the edge eased from her soul. Maybe the sleeplessness of the night before had affected her more than she’d imagined.
She went through her own gear bag, double-checking that she had all the required equipment. Even if she wasn’t able to climb, she wanted to be sure to have the supplies to make examples. Short lengths of lightweight cording, neatly coiled and tied off. Extra carabiners, tape. Her knife.
She slipped to the side where there was an open table and smiled at Devon, who was working in that area.
“Got room for me?”
“No problem.” He indicated her gear. “By the way, let me know if you need anything—I’m cutting ropes this afternoon and can get you new lengths to order.”
She nodded. “Thanks, I’ll let you know.”
Across the room, Xavier and Tripp continued to shout at each other. Erin wandered through the doorway, fully suited up, and waved at Becki. Marcus supervised and stepped in as needed.
The rush and excitement of the preparations made her ache to be back on active duty and stirred up the sense of loss all over again.
Alisha zipped a bag and tossed it to the pile of prepared gear. She wore a most indignant expression as she slapped her hands clean, her gaze focused on Devon. The sight of the small blonde stomping across the room toward them had to mean trouble. Becki poked Devon in the side, then tilted her head as a warning. Devon turned in time to discover Alisha glaring at him.
“Did you have a nice day yesterday?” she demanded.
“Um, yesterday? I guess so.” Devon frowned. “Was pretty laid back.”
“Good to hear it wasn’t any trouble. I thought maybe it was too challenging, you know, keeping track of details. Little things like mentioning to all your teammates when you make a scheduling change.”
Devon wrinkled his nose sheepishly. “Oh, that.”
Alisha shoved up to Devon and got right in his face, which was pretty impressive considering she was a good foot shorter than him. “Yes, that. Imagine my surprise when I called the paper this morning to ask a simple question and discovered the interview already happened. Didn’t want me around? Jerk.”