“Settle down!”
Mom came in just as we finished up, and I lifted the handset and we could hear the dial tone of a clear connection. “Does it work?” she asked.
I couldn’t have asked for better timing. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, the phone rang. “Don’t know! Let’s find out!” I picked up the handset and said, “Maryland Home for Dissolute Women! Dropping off or picking up?”
Dad started laughing, and Mom gave out a shocked, “Carling!”
There was a loud laugh at the other end of the line. Aunt Peg then said, “Carling, you rascal, is your mother available?” Aunt Peg was my godmother and one of Dad’s sisters. I loved her dearly.
“She’s one of the more dissolute women available. Hold on.” I handed the phone to Mom and Dad laughed some more. Mom swung at the back of my head, but I ducked out of the way. Back before I got restarted, in college, it was considered a sign of a real wiseass to be able to come up with smartass answers when the phone rang. ‘County Morgue. You stab ‘em, we slab ‘em!’ and ‘Murphy’s Bar and Cat House. Liquor in the front, poker in the rear!’ were always favorites.
Hamilton expressed his disapproval with the phone in a different way. If he answered the call, and it was for me, he simply hung it up and then left it off the hook until somebody figured it out. He was becoming a real pain in the ass!
Chapter 15: The Carl Buckman Experience
Proof that Jeana had enjoyed our date surfaced on Monday morning. Ray and I and a few of our friends were hanging out in the hallway before homeroom, when Jeana came up. God, but she looked good! How she snuck out past her mother was questionable at best. She had on jeans that looked like they had been painted on, black pumps with at least a two inch heel, and a bright red long sleeved knit top that zipped up the front and had a tiny built in hood down the back, and that top was so tight and thin you could count her freckles, if she had any. Conversation simply stopped as she sauntered down the hall. She came up to me and wrapped her arms around me, and kissed me hard on the lips.
I have to admit I was smiling a cat-with-a-canary-dinner smile after I came up for air. Ray looked disgusted. “So, the date went well?” he asked.
“Well, I certainly thought so, but you might want to ask Jeana?” I replied. Jeana blushed and gave me a hug. I looked down at her and asked, “This weekend, maybe a movie and something to eat afterwards?”
Ray groaned as I drove in the knife. “Buckman, there’s a petition going around asking for volunteers for your asskicking, and I am putting my name down on the list!” Everyone laughed at that, including Jeana, who promised to chase down Ray if he hurt me. “I’ll die a happy man!” he answered, causing Jeana to blush again.
We all chatted until the warning bell rang and Jeana had to move off to her homeroom. We all stared as she sashayed away, those killer heels causing her rear to move in a hypnotic figure 8. “Oh, man, I hate to see her go, but I love to watch her leave!” I commented.
“Would you explain how it is you got her and not me? And don’t give me your shit about bowling, either!” protested my friend.
I turned to face Ray and smiled. “Well, it might be that I’m smarter and better looking that you, and later today, in the showers after gym, I’ll tell you about your other shortcomings.”
“Fuck you, Buckman! You are way at the top of the asskicking list now!” replied Ray as the others laughed. “I am going to be able to subcontract out the asskicking and charge for the privilege!”
We avoided any asskicking that week. I asked Jeana out again this weekend, but it would have to be Saturday, since I was working Friday night. She offered to come over to the pizza shop, but I told her no, that it was work and I couldn’t have friends hanging around like that. None of us guys did. We were all high school kids but we had to take it seriously. That was alright, though. The job was enjoyable, although it didn’t pay much. I didn’t need much, either. I remember the first time around, it basically kept gas in my Mom’s car and enough dough to take a girl out for a date. I was a man of simple tastes. It was such a small operation that the owner paid us in cash and coin, in an envelope, with the payroll deductions handwritten on the back of an order slip. I usually worked three to four nights a week, which was an issue with scheduling aikido practice, but I almost always had either Friday or Saturday free.
By that Saturday, I had my new used car in hand, and that is what we went to the movies in. Jeana was very impressed. I have no idea what we saw, but I knew I had seen it before, probably a million times over. After all, it could have been a premiere and I still would have seen it before. Jeana didn’t care, and I made sure I spent time paying attention to her.
I had to get her back home by eleven, but this time her parents weren’t waiting for us in the living room. We spent several minutes kissing before I had to run along, and I promised to call the next day.
Monday proved very interesting. Jeana was a wonderful girl, not just beautiful, but smart and interesting as well. I drove to school for the first time, and when school let out, I asked if she would like me to drive her home. Her eyes lit up at this. I carried her crap out to my car and we rode around a bit first, and then we got to her house. “Want to come in?” she asked.
Said the spider to the fly, but who was the spider, and who was the fly? Of course I wanted to come inside. She unlocked the door and I followed inside, carrying her books. She tossed that onto the coffee table. “Want a Coke?” she asked.
“Sure.” I followed her out to the kitchen. “Where’s the rest of the family?” I asked.
She leaned back against the kitchen counter and said, “There’s not much family to keep track of. Both Mom and Dad work, and my older brother died in Viet Nam a few years ago.”
“I’m very sorry to hear that. I’m sorry for your loss.” That stupid fucking war was the disaster of our generation, and was the dumbest fucking foreign policy move we made until the invasion of Iraq.
She shrugged. “Thank you. It was about five years ago, but thank you anyway.”
I walked back out to the living room with my drink. “When do your parents get home?”
Jeana gave me a big smile. “Not for another couple of hours! Would you like to see downstairs?” She grabbed my hand before I even had a chance to answer and pulled me to my feet. “Come on!”
The Colosimo house was unusual for our neighborhood in that it actually had a basement. My parents’ house, for example, which was an expensive unit on a corner property, was half crawlspace and half slab-on-grade. Jeana’s house not only had a basement, it was actually finished off as a family room and wet bar. It was carpeted, had a drop ceiling, and the walls were sheetrock and oak paneling. There was a large television at one end, facing a sectional couch and chairs, and the other end had oak stairs to the main floor and a fancy wet bar, even including a beer tap.
“Whoa! Very nice!” I said as I looked around. Jeana had gone over to the couches and sat down, so I followed behind. “I wasn’t sure if you were planning on making drinks down here,” I said, pointing my thumb over my shoulder at the bar.
She gave a pleasant shrug. “It’s all locked up anyways. Sorry.”
“Not a problem.”
I sat down in a very comfortable armchair and set my Coke on an end table. “Do you have any coasters?”
Jeana hopped up and found one and brought it back to me. I set my drink on the coaster and then tugged her down onto my lap, sideways, and wrapped my arms around her waist. “This is very comfortable, indeed. When did you say your parents were getting home?” I leaned in and whispered this into her ear, and then licked her ear lobe.