“No. I’ll stay here with Madelaine and finish this bottle,” she said, lifting the jug of mead.
Madelaine smiled weakly. “You’ll be on the floor by morning.”
“Your floor looks softer than my bed. I can’t remember the last time I was in this castle.”
“We were girls. Boite was here.”
“Oh, now, Boite I remember. The castle was nothing compared to him.”
Setting down my cup, I unhooked my belt and slid off the raven-capped dagger. I crossed the room and handed it to Uald.
She rose. “Corbie, where did you get this?” she asked, her voice full of awe.
Madelaine squinted. “Is that…is that the raven dagger?”
I nodded. Uald turned the dagger over in her hand, studying her smith mark. She touched it gently.
“Boite,” she whispered.
“Wherever did you find it?” Madelaine asked.
“On Duncan. I took it from him then used it to carve out his heart. He told me it was a gift from Malcolm.”
Madelaine stared at me, her eyes wide.
“You took it from him in battle?” Uald asked.
“Yes. And now it has come home to you once more. Keep it.”
“No. It should be yours. Lulach’s.”
“No. You keep it.”
Uald wrapped her hand around the sheath and pressed the blade against her chest. “I think we may need another bottle to get through this night. But, Corbie, aren’t you drinking,” she said, eyeing my still-full cup.
“No,” I said with a sigh then sat back down. “I’m pregnant with the Thane of Lochaber’s child.”
At that, Uald laughed out loud. In spite of herself, Madelaine chuckled.
Uald poured herself another glass then refilled Madelaine’s cup.
“Well then,” Uald said. “Let us toast once more. To Boite and his grandchild.”
Madelaine and I lifted our cups then drank.
I stayed with Madelaine and Uald until Madelaine couldn’t keep her eyes open anymore, Druanne’s concoction working on her. Uald, on the other hand, drank herself blind and fell asleep—or unconsciousness from drink—on the floor.
“No sleeping on the stones,” I told Uald, lifting her off the floor. With a heave, I moved her toward Madelaine’s bed.
“Corbie,” she whispered, her voice coming out a slur.
“Yes, Uald?”
“I loved your daddy.”
“So I figured.”
“Never found another man I liked after Boite.”
“Just think, you could have been my mother,” I said, giving her another shove as I rolled her onto the bed beside Madelaine.
Uald laughed loudly then fell back into a drunken sleep once more.
I covered them then went out to the hall where I found Camden, one of my guards, waiting for me.
“My queen,” he said, bowing to me.
“I’m for bed,” I told him.
He nodded then escorted me to my chamber. “I’ll be here until dawn, Your Majesty. Someone else will come then.”
“Thank you,” I said then went inside.
Sighing, I lay down to rest. I felt dizzy from exhaustion and too tired to change. Lying down, I studied the gloves that had come from the Unseelie Queen. Closing my eyes, I reached out to the other world. I tried to feel the fey there. Their magic was chaotic and foreign to me, but I could sense their presence.
“Many thanks, Great Lady,” I whispered.
What the dark fey wanted from me, I had no idea. Perhaps it was just as Sid said. One day, I would join the Wyrds.
One day.
Maybe.
If I ever had the heart to forgive Andraste.
Chapter 20
I rose the next morning to a familiar warble in my bedchamber; Ute was singing. I had missed her companionate presence.
“Good morning, Ute.”
“Gruoch. Good morning to you.”
Groggily, I rose to see it wasn’t long past sunrise.
“Uald and the healer—Druanne—are downstairs getting ready to depart.”
“Madelaine?”
Ute sighed. “Still in bed.”
“Leave her there.”
Ute nodded.
“And how are you, Ute? Tell me how you’ve been,” I said.
“Very well. Honestly, Lady Madelaine looks after herself. I don’t have much to do. I’ve… There is a man in Fife’s household. I’ve formed an attachment.”
“Have you?”
“We’re not married yet, but we are planning. It’s a happy life. And now you are queen.”
“Yes,” I said with a sigh.
Ute nodded but said nothing. What could she say? Like me, she hated Macbeth, and I didn’t blame her for it. I understood her hatred very well.
I rose slowly and went to the basin to wash my face. I then prepared myself for the day, dressing in the gown Ute had set out for me.
“Do you need anything else?” Ute asked.
I shook my head. “No. Thank you. It’s good to see you doing so well, Ute. It makes my heart happy.”
She smiled softly at me. “Thank you, Gruoch. That means so much coming from you. I’ll go check on Madelaine now,” she said then left.
I pulled on my boots and headed downstairs. Uald and Druanne were talking to Madelaine’s staff. Servants were hauling bags of barley, oats, and flour out the front of the castle and loading them into the wagon.
“Will it be enough?” I asked Uald, watching as the footmen passed.
She nodded. “That should get us through. Hunting is still good.”
“Don’t hesitate to ask Madelaine for help. I didn’t like to see things so thin,” I said.
“Epona is not herself,” Druanne said. “The rest of us will step forward to guide things in the future.”
Uald set her hand on my shoulder. “And look after Crearwy.”
I nodded. “Thank you both. Are you leaving now? Should I wake Madelaine?”
Uald shook her head. “No. But thank her for us.”
I nodded then embraced Uald. “I’d offer to send a guard to travel with you, but I know you won’t accept.”
“You’re right,” Uald said with a wink. She then turned to Druanne. “Ready?”
Druanne nodded.
“Thank you, Druanne.”
She sighed. “There is little to thank me for.”
“You comforted him in the end,” Uald said.
Druanne frowned. “It was too little too late.”
“Thank you all the same,” I told her.
To my surprise, she gave me a half smile. She and Uald then climbed into the wagon. Their horses were tied to the back of the cart. I was relieved to see the wagon was fully loaded with goods. One less thing to worry about.
“Tell Madelaine we’re keeping the wagon and horses,” Uald said with a grin.
I grinned then waved to her.
Uald chuckled, raised her hand in farewell, then rode off into the misty morning.
I stayed and watched until they were out of sight. I turned then and walked out onto the field surrounding the castle. Allister had been dead for many years, but I still could not escape the memories that haunted the place. Everywhere I looked, I saw something that put me in mind of my life here. I climbed the nearby hill then walked toward the valley where the stream flowed lazily past the castle. How many days had I spent here, hiding from Allister and his men?
I sat down by the water. It was still cold, the ground below me not yet thawed. Spring, it seemed, did not want to come. I gazed into the water. It was here that Gillacoemgain had found me the morning after I’d made love to him. He had come with words of love on his lips. I entwined my gloved fingers and pressed them against my mouth. For so many years, I had believed Duncan to be Crearwy and Lulach’s father. But every time I spoke of their father to them, every time I had declared Lulach to be the son of Gillacoemgain, it had felt like the truth. Perhaps, because it was. Perhaps, after all the loss and pain, I had finally won something back. If they were indeed his children, then Gillacoemgain wasn’t really lost. He would live on in them.