I closed the door behind them.
“I wish we had discussed your return to Moray,” he said simply.
“I was waiting until the weather cleared. I will tour the north while I am there, make sure things are as strong as we left them.”
“When will you return?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Dunsinane should be ready by winter. Will you be back then?”
“I don’t know yet.” The truth was, I didn’t know when I would return. With my child due in the winter, even if I wanted to return, it wouldn’t be feasible for me to come back until spring.
Macbeth ran his hand through his hair and took a slow, deep breath. He still looked far too gaunt, his eyes ringed black. He stared at my cold hearth, his eyes vacant. “Are you running from me?”
“I’m done running. We are king and queen. We will rule this land together as best we can. I am going north and will see to the northern provinces while I am there. You must retain a tight grip on the south while I am gone. Madelaine is here to see to the ladies, and you have your advisors. Listen to them, to Fife, and send word if you need to.”
“Will Lulach be in Moray?”
I stiffened. “Perhaps.”
Macbeth nodded glumly. “All right. I wish you safe travels,” he said. Without another word, he rose and exited the room.
I raised an eyebrow and watched him go.
I could only pray to the Goddess that he did not undo the progress I’d made.
Glancing around the chamber, I saw that everything was ready. I pulled up my gloves then grabbed my cloak. I was ready to go home.
After I said farewell to Madelaine, our party headed north. The Moray guard and a dozen of Macbeth’s men, men of Inverness who wanted to go home, rode with us.
At Rhona and Tira’s urging, I rode in the cart with them. Swift was decidedly unhappy about walking behind the cart. When we stopped to water the horses, Killian came to me.
“My Queen, shall I exercise your horse? He looks like he’s taking being tied to the wagon personally.”
“I’d consider it a favor,” I said.
Killian nodded then untied Swift.
“Do you remember his father and brother?” Rhona whispered to Tira, motioning to Killian as he walked away.
Tira nodded. “I remember his brother. He was a handsome one.”
“That he was. And his father was a great clansman, a good leader.”
I furrowed my brow, looking from Killian to the maids. “What happened to them?” I asked.
Tira and Rhona turned to me, both looking surprised to find me listening.
“Oh,” Rhona said. “His father and brother were with the Mormaer when…when they all perished.”
I looked at Killian. He was chatting with Swift, calming the animal. “They were with Gillacoemgain?”
Rhona nodded.
“Who leads their clan now?” I asked.
“Killian’s uncle. Killian was the youngest son, too young to rule. He came to the castle to serve. Standish is connected to that somehow,” Rhona said.
Tira chuckled. “Standish is related to everyone.”
I stared at Killian. It moved my heart to know that he too had lost something that terrible day. But it was also a poignant reminder. Macbeth was the one who had ordered that fire. Macbeth. May the Gods reward me for my patience in dealing with such a man. Given all his treachery, I wondered why his hands weren’t covered in blood. But then a realization struck me. Macbeth’s hands might not be stained, but his mind was. He had always been unsteady, but it seemed to me, he was teetering very close to being undone. I could only hope he held the pieces of himself intact while I was away.
We rode throughout the day, camping that night. When the sun rose, we took to the trail once more. I was relieved when the ramparts of Cawdor appeared on the horizon. The sound of trumpets lit up the night, heralding our arrival. Finally, I was home. I exhaled deeply. All this time, I’d felt like I was carrying a weight on my shoulders. In Moray, I could let go.
Even before I got to the gate, I spotted a black shadow rushing across the grass to meet us. She barked loudly as she raced toward the wagon.
“Thora!” I called. I set my hand on the wagon driver’s arm, motioning for him to stop.
I slipped out of the wagon.
“Come here, bad girl,” I called to her.
Thora ran to me, more waddling than running, but her eyes glimmered with excitement. I couldn’t help but notice how stiff her legs were and how round she’d become.
“Just look at you,” I told her. “My gods, did you eat all the winter stores yourself?”
Thora barked lightly then licked my face. I ruffled her ears then pressed my head against hers. “I’m glad to see you too.”
Stretching my back, I walked through the gates, following the others into the yard.
“My lady,” Standish called, crossing the lawn to meet me.
I smiled happily. “Standish.”
Standish kissed me on both cheeks. “How well you look, Lady Gruoch. Red in your cheeks and all.”
“I am very well. And you?”
“We’ve managed quite well. I dare say, we appreciated the financial support you sent to Cawdor. I could finally afford to get some repairs to the castle done. And we made some improvements in Nairn, as you requested.”
“It’s about time Moray received some support from the crown.”
“Indeed. Now, your old chamber is ready—Morag saw to that—and we’ve prepared a feast for your homecoming.”
I watched as the grooms led the horses to the stables. “Thank you, Standish,” I said, patting his arm.
Standish smiled then looked down at Thora. “Finally got up, did you? She’s been lying by the fire since you left. I think she’s finally feeling her age, my lady.”
“Aren’t we all?” I said with a laugh that Standish joined.
Motioning to Thora, I left Standish and went in the direction of the stables. The grooms bowed to me as I passed. Thora trotted ahead to Kelpie’s stable.
“What, are you sleeping, old man?” I called to Kelpie who didn’t seem to notice I had come. Usually, he kicked and whinnied the moment he caught my scent.
Drowsily, Kelpie turned and looked at me. He whinnied softly.
“Oh, my dear, how are you?” I asked, patting his ears.
“Lady Gruoch,” a voice called.
I turned to see the groom who had treated Kelpie after the war.
“How is my boy?” I asked.
“Well, my lady. Well, but tired. He sleeps a lot.”
“Ah, so everyone is lying around in my absence,” I said, patting Thora on the head. But the truth was, both Kelpie and Thora were well beyond their prime. The war, it seemed, had taken a lot out of them. “And his wound?”
“Healed, but he limps on the leg and favors the others instead.”
I patted Kelpie on his nose then pressed my forehead against his. Sorrow filled my heart. “My old friend,” I whispered then turned to the groom. “Thank you for taking good care of him. I’ll be back again soon,” I told Kelpie then motioned to Thora. We headed back toward the castle. As I crossed the yard, I was greeted with bows, curtsies, smiles, and wishes of welcome. I exhaled deeply then gazed up at the castle.
“Gillacoemgain, I’m home.”
Chapter 30
That night, for the first time in months, I truly slept. Something about lying in the bed I had shared with Gillacoemgain made my heart feel safe. I was behind the walls of my own castle and surrounded by my own people. No harm could come to me or my unborn child here. I set my hand on my stomach. The little one inside jiggled, the fluttering feeling making my heart stir with joy.
I sighed contentedly.