It lit, and she applied it to the match pack, dropping it to the ground.
Removing what remained of her right arm, she lit it at the flaring pack.
It blazed like a torch; her cellulose skin was highly inflammable.
She used the arm to ignite her body at strategic points and then, a blazing, vengeful figure of flame, hurled herself on the two scientists in the Plaza.
From the restaurant Battle could see, through tear-wet eyes, the features of the fly-by-night worldsavers. Then Spike's fuel tank exploded and everything blotted out in one vivid sheet of flame.
"Come on! The cops!" hissed Miss Millicent. She dragged him, sobbing as he was, into the Independent subway station that let out into the Center. Aimlessly he let her lead him onto an express, the first of the morning.
"Miss Millicent, I loved her," he complained.
"Why don't you join the Foreign Legion to forget?" she suggested amiably.
"What?" he said, making a wry face. "Again?"
THE CITY IN THE SOFA
LIEUTENANT J. C. BATTLE tweaked the ends of his trim little military moustache and smiled brilliantly at the cashier.
"Dear Judy," he said, "there seems to have been some mistake. I could have sworn I'd put my wallet in this suit—"
The super-blonde young lady looked bored and crooked a finger at the manager of the cafeteria. The manager crooked a finger at three muscular busboys, who shambled over to the exit.
"Now," said the manager, "what seems to be the trouble?"
The lieutenant bowed. "My name," he said, "is Battle. My card, sir." He presented a pasteboard square which bore the crest of the United States Marines and the legend:
LIEUTENANT J. C. BATTLE,
SOLDIER OF FORTUNE
REVOLUTIONS A SPECIALTY
"A phony," said the manager with the wickedest of smiles. "A dead-beat. The check says thirty cents, Major do you cough up or wash dishes?" He flung the card aside, and an innocent-appearing old man, white-haired, wrinkled of face and shabbily dressed, who had been patient]y waiting to pay his ten cent check, courteously stooped and tapped the manager on the shoulder.
"You dropped this," he said politely, extending the card.
"Keep it," snarled the manager. The innocent old man scanned the card and stiffened as though he had been shot.
"If you will allow me," he said, interrupting Battle's impassioned plea for justice, "I shall be glad to pay this young man's check." He fished out an ancient wallet and dropped a half dollar into the super-blonde's hand.
"May I have your address, sir?' asked Battle when they were outside. "I shall mail you the money as soon as I get back to my club."
The old man raised a protesting hand. "Don't mention it," he smiled toothlessly. "It was a pleasure. In fact I should like you to come with me to my club." He looked cautiously around. "I think," he half-whispered,
"that I have a job for you, Lieutenant—if you're available."
"Revolution?" asked Battle, skeptically surveying the old man, taking in every wrinkle in the suit he wore. "I'm rather busy at the moment, sir, but I can recommend some very able persons who might suit you as well. They do what might be called a cut-rate business. My price is high, sir—very high."
"Be that as it may, lieutenant. My club is just around the corner. Will you follow me, please?"
Only in New York could you find a two-bit cafeteria on a brightly lit avenue around the corner from the homes of the wealthy on one side and the poor on the other. Battle fully expected the old man to cross the street and head riverwards; instead he led the soldier of fortune west towards Central Park.
Battle gasped as the old man stopped and courteously gestured him to enter a simple door in an old-style marble-faced building.
Disbelievingly he read the house number.
"But this is—" said Battle, stuttering a little in awe.
"Yes," said the old man simply. "This is the Billionaire's Club."
IN THE SMOKING room Battle eased himself dazedly into a chair upholstered with a priceless Gobelin tapestry shot through by wires of pure gold. Across the room he saw a man with a vast stomach and a nose like a pickled beet whom he recognized as "Old Jay." He was shaking an admonishing finger at the stock-market plunger known as the "Cobra of Canal Street."
"Where you should put your money," Old Jay rumbled—as Battle leaned forward eagerly, the rumble dropped to a whisper. The Cobra jotted down a few notes in a solid silver memo pad and smiled gratefully. As he left the room he nodded at a suave young man whom the lieutenant knew to be the youngest son of the Atlantis Plastic and Explosive dynasty.
"I didn't," said Battle breathlessly, "I didn't catch the name, sir."
"Cromleigh," snapped the old man who had brought him through the fabulous portals. "Ole Cromleigh, `Shutter-shy,' they call me. I've never been photographed, and for a very good reason. All will be plain in a moment. Watch this." He pressed a button.
"Yessir?" snapped a page, appearing through a concealed door as if by magic.
Cromleigh pointed at a rather shabby mohair sofa. "I want that fumigated, sonny," he said. "I'm afraid it's crummy."
"Certainly, sir," said the page. "I'll have it attended to right away, sir "
He marched through the door after a smart salute.
"Now study that sofa," said Cromleigh meditatively. "Look at it carefully and tell me what you think of it."
The Lieutenant looked at it careful]y. "Nothing," he said at length and quite frankly. "I can't see a thing wrong with it, except that beside all this period furniture it looks damned shabby."
"Yes," said Ole Cromleigh. "I see." He rubbed his hands meditatively.
"You heard me order that page to fumigate it, eh ? Well—he's going to forget all about those orders as completely as if I'd never delivered them."
"I don't get it," confessed Battle. "But I'd like you to check—for my benefit."
Cromleigh shrugged and pressed the button again. To the page who appeared, he said irascibly: "I told you to have that sofa fumigated—
didn't I?"
The boy looked honestly baffled. "No, sir," he said, wrinkling his brows.
"I don't think so, sir."
"All right, sonny. Scat." The boy disappeared with evident relief.
"That's quite a trick," said Battle. "How do you do it'!" He was absolutely convinced that it was the same boy and that he had forgotten all about the incident.
"You hit the nail on the head, young man," said Cromleigh leaning forward. "I didn't do it. I don't know who did, but it happens regularly."
He looked about him sharply and continued: "I'm owing-gay oo-tay eek-spay in ig-pay atin-Lay. Isten-lay."
And then, in the smoking room of the Billionaire's Club, the strangest story ever told was unreeled—in pig-Latin!—for the willing ears of Lieutenant J. C. Battle, Soldier of Fortune. And it was the prelude to his strangest job—the strangest job any soldier of fortune ever was hired for throughout the whole history of the ancient profession.
BATTLE WAS BEWILDERED. He stared about himself with the curious feeling of terrified uncertainty that is felt in nightmares. At his immediate left arose a monstrous spiral mountain, seemingly of metal-bearing ore, pitted on the surface and crusted with red rust.
From unimaginable heights above him filtered a dim, sickly light…
beneath his feet was a coarse stuff with great ridges and interstices running into the distance. Had he not known he would never have believed that he was standing on wood.
"So this," said Battle, "is what the inside of a mohair sofa is like."
Compressed into a smallness that would have made a louse seem mastodonic, he warily trod his way across huge plains of that incredible worm's-eye wood, struggled over monstrous tubes that he knew were the hairy padding of the sofa.