She shrugged. “Maybe she didn’t want to worry you. She’d moved out, you know. Renting a room in a house near the railway station. I don’t think Barry took it well.”
Zack slowly replaced his beret and then held out a hand to me. My heart leaped. “I was going to check her house to make sure Barry hadn’t thrown out her things.” His voice was gruff. I clasped his outstretched hand and gave him a little squeeze as he tangled our fingers together. “I guess I don’t need to do that now.”
Steph’s gaze was fixed on our linked hands. “I’ll pack up all her stuff for you. Keep it safe for when you come back.”
“Thanks.”
Silence fell between us, and Steph was the first to speak. “Caroline’s inviting everyone back to her hotel for refreshments. Are you going?”
“No.” He glanced at me. “My mother lives in Auckland, if you were wondering.” I was unlikely to bump into her around the village, and that was a relief. The conversation ground to an awkward halt again.
“Are you going back on deployment? After this?” Steph’s eyes shone with more unshed tears, and I questioned their relationship again. I’d never felt more like an intruder, and I itched to slink away and leave them to their private good-bye, but Zack gripped my hand.
“Yeah. I fly back tomorrow.”
She slipped her arms around Zack’s neck and hugged him, pressing a soft kiss against his cheek. He managed a clumsy, one-armed hug in return, without releasing my hand. “Stay safe, Zack.”
This was awful. It was blindingly obvious to me that she loved him, was in love with him, and he’d all but brushed her off. Was this how he behaved with women? Did he leave a trail of broken hearts behind him wherever he went? Would mine be next? And where the hell had that thought come from?
I painted a polite smile on my face and waited for an appropriate moment to speak. “I need to run some errands. Can I give you a ride anywhere, Zack?”
“Yeah, please. That’d be, uh, good.” He detached himself from Steph, only she hadn’t finished yet.
“Can I take your number, Zack?” The naked longing on her face was painful. He hesitated but she leaped in before he could say anything. “I’ll text you when I’ve got all Marnie’s stuff safe.”
I waited and tried not to watch as they swapped numbers, and then finally Zack turned to me and squared his shoulders. The car park crowd had thinned out, but there were still plenty of mourners who wanted his attention as we headed out to the street. I glanced back and saw Steph, under the tree, King by her side and her gaze fixed on Zack.
What had I barged into?
Zack broke away and followed me to my beat-up old Honda Prelude. I’d left it behind when I ran away to Europe, expecting Jas to sell it, but he’d hung on to it. Maybe he’d always known I’d come back one day.
He leaned back on my car and stared into the distance, twisting his cap some more in his hands. “She’s gone,” he whispered. “It didn’t seem real. Not until now.” His stricken gaze locked onto me. “Like I could pretend she was still here. You know?” He snapped his mouth shut, his jaw tense.
This could have been me, if Jas hadn’t been so lucky. I stepped forward and placed my hand on Zack’s arm. “What do you want to do now? Tell me what I can do to help.”
He stared blankly at me. “I have to get away from here.” He shivered. “It smells like death.”
“I need to get some groceries today, but we could go somewhere first if you like.”
“Yeah.” He stared into the distance. “Mind if I drive?” He turned to me, his face shuttered. I hesitated. Was he in a fit state to concentrate on the road?
“I’m fine to drive. You’ll be safe with me. And besides, there’s somewhere I’d like to go. I haven’t been there in years.”
…
Did I have a premonition of where he’d want to go? I agreed before asking where he meant, keen to replace the anguish with anything I could. And really, this was just a road. Nothing special.
I gripped the edges of my seat so tightly, I couldn’t imagine uncurling my fingers ever again. A trickle of perspiration broke out on my forehead, but I daren’t lift my hand to wipe it away. My gaze danced between mirrors and the road ahead, and every meter we climbed higher, my chest grew tighter.
At each bend I held my breath until we were safely around it. I’d known this route once like the back of my hand, I’d traveled it so often, but now I saw it through fresh eyes. My heart hammered, and my stomach protested.
Finally we made it to the large and empty parking area at the top of the hill. Zack nosed into a space overlooking the bay, and I closed my eyes. I’d made it. The breath juddered in and out of my lungs, and my head ached from concentrating so hard, but I was still here.
Zack’s hand on my thigh made me jump. “Sorry,” he murmured, his fingers stroking a soothing pattern. “It’s a long way up here.”
I hadn’t noticed him removing his seat belt, but he must have, because he popped open the door and climbed out. With both hands jammed in his pockets, he wandered to the safety fence and stared out at the amazing view beyond. With luck, he was so caught up with his own angst that he hadn’t noticed my fear. Holy fuck, I’d made it.
We still had to drive back down.
Nausea churned in my belly, and I closed my eyes again, dropping my head to the dashboard. I can do this.
The door clicked on my side. I opened my eyes to see Zack staring at me, worry etched on his face. As I watched, he unclipped me from the belt, worked my fingers free of their death grip on the seat, and then he pulled me gently out of the car. With my face pressed into his chest I could finally breathe normally again, and I clung to him, our roles suddenly reversed.
“Was this where you lost your parents?”
Chapter Fourteen
I nodded at Zack’s question, and he squeezed me closer. He peppered my hair with little kisses, drowning me in affection. “Christ. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
I took a deep breath, and then another, and waited until my breathing was something like normal. “It’s the first time I’ve been back. Here.” Terrifying as it had been, a small part of me felt proud for taking this step when I’d been avoiding it for years. “And this is where Jas wrecked his car. It’s not my favorite place.”
He nuzzled the shell of my ear, his hot breath driving some of the chill from my body. Desire stirred deep inside me. “I can give you a good memory of this place.”
The image of him with his hands in my jeans was unforgettable. My cheeks heated. “What are you thinking of?” It came out as a whisper.
“Hmm.” He slid his hands down my back to cup my ass. A jolt of raw lust flashed over me, and I squirmed, moisture dampening my panties. “I like this skirt on you.”
I felt him hitching up the hem at the back, little by little, over my thighs, until my panties were exposed. I was desperate for another tangle with him, for him to reduce me to a quivering sticky mess. If he asked me to strip naked right there, I’d consider it.
Instead, he eased me back to the car and claimed the driver’s seat, rapidly shoving it back for the maximum amount of legroom. He positioned me to stand facing into the open car. “Put your hands on the roof and keep them there.” Dark excitement filled my belly. What was he going to do? “Tell me if anyone comes near.” The car park was deserted at the moment but wasn’t likely to stay that way.
“Hmm,” he murmured when I nodded, the corners of his lips curling upward. “You have to keep your hands still, or I stop.” Stop what? Zack sat with his legs out of the car, feet planted firmly on the ground. He tugged me nearer to the open door, my skirt still bunched around my hips, and then he eased down my panties. They pooled around my ankles. Oh. My. God. He wasn’t going to…was he?