“Yeah, I think so.” I pressed a kiss over the letters and heard his indrawn breath. “It’s my squad’s motto.” I avoided mentioning the crosses on his spine. I didn’t want to remind him of other losses. I sank to my knees and gazed at his dick. A pearl of pre-cum oozed from the slit, and I had to taste it.
“Holly.” There was a yearning in his whisper, and I glanced up to meet his gaze. I wanted to pleasure him every bit as much as he’d cared for me. I wanted to make him lose control.
I flicked my tongue over the head, which drew a moan from him. He tasted salty but sweet at the same time. Delicious. Closing my mouth over him, I cradled his heavy balls with one hand while taking a firm grasp of his cock with the other. It was a larger beast than I’d handled before. Slowly, with all the time in the world, I took it into my mouth as far as I could, all the while stroking and caressing him and, within seconds, I felt him tense and stiffen.
“Jesus, Holly.” His voice was strained. “That’s good. So good, baby.”
I sucked hard, flicked the crown with my tongue and then drew him in even farther. His hiss of breath confirmed he was enjoying it, and I carried on, little increments at a time. He whimpered, this big, strong man finally giving up control to me. I felt privileged—even more so when he tangled his hands in my hair and forced me to stop. “I’m going to come in a minute if you don’t stop.”
I jerked my head free and continued, picking up the pace and stroking the delicate skin underneath his balls. They tightened, and he moaned again, but I wasn’t stopping now. He came with a muffled shout, hot splashes pulsing down my throat, and I hummed my approval. I’d enjoyed it every bit as much. I hoped I’d get another chance to pleasure him before he left.
Zack eased himself free, dropped to his knees, and kissed me deeply. “I’ve never had anyone do that before. Swallow, I mean.” There was a sense of wonder in his voice. He ran a thumb across my lower lip, and my heart swelled.
“I’ve never swallowed before.” I’d never wanted to.
There was that hint of a smile again. “What am I going to do with you, Holly Jacobs?”
It hadn’t been said like a question, but I nuzzled against him and answered anyway. “Fuck me all night long.”
…
We drank more vodka, nibbled on crackers and cheese, and fucked. Long and slow, face to face, every movement a caress. Animal rutting with him taking me from behind again, fierce and all powerful. We slept a little, too, tangled together in his bed, hands linked and legs entwined. He woke me while it was still dark and made tender, intense love to me, drawing yet another orgasm from my exhausted body. My bones were melting under his touch and yet, the moment he kissed me, I wanted more.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“Holly.”
I closed my eyes tighter at Zack’s sleep-roughened voice. If I stayed asleep, he wouldn’t leave. I could spin this out forever.
“Baby. I have to go soon.”
No. This was the moment I dreaded. All the things I’d wanted to do, to talk about, to learn from him. I’d meant to ask him about Steph, his friends, his fellow soldiers. I wanted to share my funny childhood stories with him, my amusing tales of backpacking across Europe. I longed to make him smile, to see his eyes grow soft, to hear his laughter. Had I heard him laugh? Not properly. There hadn’t been time.
Panic curled up in a tight ball inside my belly. I had to play it cool. Two nights he’d promised me, and my stupidity had robbed me of one. He didn’t intend anything more than that. It’s only sex.
Without opening my eyes, I snuggled closer, to drape myself over his chest, my fingers trailing down his stomach. He caught my hand and held it still.
I knew then, it was over.
“It’s still early. Will you walk on the beach with me?” Oh, that was a surprise. I forced my leaden eyelids to lift and blinked at the near darkness.
“How early?”
A soft huff of laughter above my head signaled his amusement. “Almost six.”
Earlier than I’d been rising recently, and I didn’t normally have so much vodka. Or so little sleep. I groaned and squeezed my eyes shut again. “When do you have to leave?”
“I’m on a ten o’clock flight from Wellington.” Shit. I calculated rapidly in my head. He’d need to leave here no later than eight-thirty. Two and a half hours left. It wasn’t enough.
“We could stay here a little longer.” I dotted tiny kisses over his chest but, again, he stopped me with a gentle hand around my chin.
“Come with me. The sun will be rising over the hills soon.”
I contemplated staying in bed and knew I wouldn’t waste a single minute of my time left with him. “Okay.” I rubbed my eyes and yawned. “I have to warn you, I’m grumpy before I’ve had coffee.”
“I’ll de-grump you.” He kissed me, a kiss full of promise, and then tugged my disheveled hair. “But first we go and watch the sunrise.”
Sitting on the edge of his bed, I stared at my abandoned skirt and wrecked shirt. I wasn’t exactly dressed for a walk on the sand, but Zack had a solution. He handed me a soft and much washed mud-brown army T-shirt to pair with my skirt. “Wear this, and you can borrow my jacket.”
He slung an arm across my shoulders and tucked me close into his side as we left the cottage. The early morning air was crisp and cool with the threat of rain later, but Zack kept me warm. “How are you getting to the airport? I could take you.” I could hold on to you until the very last second.
“One of my buddies from Linton is coming to collect me.”
“It’s a long way for him to come. I could drive you there.” I made my voice light and careless.
“Ah, he’s staying locally. He’s got family around here.”
He didn’t suggest I come along to the airport, and I didn’t offer. How was I supposed to behave? I had no experience to suggest what I should say, whether I should be blasé or caring. Disappointment flooded me, leaving a bitter taste in my mouth.
“Here we are.” Zack stopped with his back to the wind, facing the hills, and guided me to stand in front, his arms wrapped around my waist. With his warm breath on my neck, we stood there as the sun crept higher. Fingers of gold dispersed the cool grayness and, as light flooded the skies, his arms tightened around me. “That was perfect.” He said I was perfect last night. Was his memory of me going to be as fleeting as the sunrise? As easily forgotten?
I was glad to be facing away from him. I didn’t want him to see the tears that trickled over my cheeks.
Walking back to the cottage, I clung to Zack on the pretext of being cold, and he hugged me back. The countdown ran in my head. Two hours at the most until he left. He’d need to shower, pack, have breakfast. Should I leave now? After all, I was just a temporary fix. A distraction. I wouldn’t want to cause him any embarrassment in front of his friend. I scrubbed at my eyes, angry at the tears escaping. I wouldn’t do this, let my heart break with him watching.
We climbed the steps up to his deck, and I braced myself. This was it. I left him in the kitchen while I went to find my shoes. We’d both gone barefoot on the sand, but I needed shoes and to take the remnants of my shirt. Should I give him the T-shirt back? It was standard army issue. Surely he would get a replacement easily. What else had I brought with me?
I shrugged out of his coat and left it on the bed. My phone was here somewhere. Yes, on the floor beside my shoes. I checked it for missed calls and there were two: Sam had called half an hour ago and Jasper in the past few minutes. Jas had also sent a text: