Chapter Three
“I did that. For my mum and dad.” I let go of Zack’s arm and tangled both hands around my glass. “I had this romantic idea of sprinkling them under the tree at the bottom of our garden. It was a cherry tree that mum planted when they moved in. In practice, it wasn’t a great success.”
“Oh?” Zack watched me, the intensity of his gaze making me shiver.
“I was only twelve. Jas would have been seven. The containers were bigger and heavier than I thought and, when I tried to tip them both at once, it was a disaster. The ashes went all over our feet, Jas was crying, and then a gust of wind blew them in our faces. What can I say? It wasn’t the way I’d imagined.”
As I’d hoped, I could see Zack fighting not to smile. He buried his amusement in a long swallow of vodka. How much could the man drink?
“It’s okay if you want to laugh. I’d say go for it with Marnie’s ashes, but stand upwind of them.”
“Thanks.” His voice was gruff. “I have to say, this isn’t how I’d imagined spending tonight.”
Me neither. His words were a timely reminder of my own plans for the evening and the knowledge I needed to get back to Jas soon. I knocked back the last of my drink. “I know it’ll be horrible tomorrow, but hang in there. Where’s the service being held?”
He shrugged. “Dunno. Somewhere local. I’ve got it written down. My mum made all the arrangements, including renting this place for me.”
“You don’t live round here?”
“Uh-uh.” His dark gaze pinned me to my seat. “I live wherever I’m deployed. Right now that’s just outside the Bamiyan province.”
“Afghanistan?”
He nodded. “I go where the army sends me.”
A few minutes longer wouldn’t hurt. “How long have you been there?”
He lifted his glass and examined it, as though surprised it was empty again. “This is my third deployment.”
My knowledge of Afghanistan was limited to what I’d seen on TV and in the news. Kiwi soldiers fighting alongside English and American. Soldiers dying. I tried not to shiver again. “What do you do?” It came out as a breathy whisper.
Zack stared at me and then leaned across the table. He reached out with his free hand and slowly, with all the time in the world, traced one finger across my knuckles. A dark ripple of lust fired through my veins, and I swallowed hard. Don’t do this. Don’t make this mistake again. I couldn’t move, even if I’d wanted to. “So, Holly Jacobs. Do you get hot at the idea of keeping a lonely soldier’s bed warm?”
No! Zack’s lazy voice made every nerve ending tingle, and my mouth forgot how to form words. He skated a rough fingertip over my knuckles some more. “Are you serious?” I asked.
“You’re a beautiful woman. You can’t blame me for trying.”
Like a bucket of ice water, his words jerked me back to reality. I tugged my hands back and slapped them onto the tabletop and then pushed to my feet. Not again. I’ll only end up getting hurt. Gwen grunted and lifted her shaggy head, and I sucked in a deep breath. “Thanks for the drink.” With trembling fingers I dug into my pocket for the leads. I had to go, to get away from his hungry eyes and his seductive touch.
“I’m sorry.” He hung his head. “Please don’t go.”
You can’t blame me for trying. The words rang in my head. “I have to.”
“I’m a rifleman, infantry.” I hesitated, and his eyes lifted to scan my face. “I’m a dick. I’m rude, and I’m not even nearly drunk enough to sleep yet.” The words rasped out of him. “But I’m very glad you came to sit with me. Thank you.”
Common sense screamed at me to round up the girls and go, but I ignored it and stayed where I was, my feet rooted to the wooden deck. “I accept your apology, but I can’t stay.”
Zack sighed and then scrubbed a hand over his eyes. “Let me walk you home?”
From insensitive ass to gentleman in the blink of an eye. “It’s a short walk and I have two giant dogs. Really, what could happen to me?”
“Please.” He stood up and jammed both hands in his pockets. It would mean spending five more minutes with him. I could resist him for five minutes.
I shrugged and tried not to be pleased. “Okay.”
He behaved as though perfectly sober, clipping the leads to the dogs’ collars and walking down the steps with them, back onto the sand. I let him take charge of the girls, amused at how they suddenly behaved themselves.
“It’s all in the voice,” he murmured. “You need to speak firmly to them, and they’ll do anything you want.” Unbidden, the idea of Zack doing whatever I wanted swam into my head. With an effort, I pushed past it.
“I think they prefer guys.”
Dark eyes flashed at me, the corners of his lips tugging up. “I prefer girls.”
He’d be a right charmer if things were different. Yeah, if he wasn’t in mourning for his sister, chimed the diligent voice in my head. Don’t even think of getting involved. That should be my new mantra.
We walked in a friendly silence up to the road, and Zack stopped. “Which way?”
“Left.” The grass was soft beneath my sandals, and damp blades brushed against my toes. I dawdled, unwilling to rush. “I don’t live here. Like you, I don’t actually have a home at the moment. I’d been living in England, but I’m here to look after Jas. He just needs me for a few weeks until he’s more mobile, and then I’ll go back.”
“No boyfriend or husband?”
“Not anymore.” I kept my voice brisk and sought a change of subject. “How soon do you go back?”
“A few days.” Gwen and Lily, sensing they were near home, lurched forward and caught him by surprise. He pulled them back with a confidence I never had. “I could give you some handling tips if you like. While I’m here.”
Did I want to risk seeing him again? “Won’t you be busy?”
“Not too busy for you, if that’s what you want. Think about it.”
We arrived at Jasper’s house and I stopped, Zack following suit. “This is it.” I held out my hand, expecting him to pass over the dog leads, but he stood there and stared at the sprawling cottage.
“I’ve been here before. When I was a kid.” He frowned. “I thought there was more space, though.”
“Gran sold off most of the section when Jas and I moved in. These other houses are built on what was her land.”
He huffed out a short laugh. “Looks like I was destined to meet you, Holly Jacobs.”
Chapter Four
I frowned as I processed Zack’s words, a memory resurfacing. Gran used to rent one of her paddocks out for campers. “This was where you stayed?”
“Pretty sure, yeah.”
“When did you come here?” New Zealand was a small place, and this village tiny by anyone’s standards. Had I been staying here then? Might I have bumped into Zack when we were both children?
“Dunno.” His brows tugged together as he thought. “Marnie will know. I’ll just…” His voice trailed away and he swallowed. “Fuck. This is going to be hard to get used to.”
My heart ached for him. I took a step closer and folded my arms around him. Stiff and unyielding at first, he burrowed into my embrace like a kitten seeking comfort. His arms circled my waist, and he clung tightly, head bowed and hot breath flashing across my throat. He smelled of mint and the salty tang of the sea, and something else, darker and more potent. My stomach flipped at the contact and a ripple of desire uncurled in my belly.
His body was all hard planes and muscles, and I let my imagination run free. I pictured him as a lover. Tall and strong, he’d be confident and sure of himself.