“That’s cold,” I said.
“That’s the truth,” Ethan said.
I looked at Donny standing there watching us. “So you leave him here to guard us or be the sacrificial lamb, and you don’t much care which.”
Donny glanced at me, then at Ethan, and even at Edward. “I will go tell Queen Cho Chun what you have demanded.” His eyes flicked to me, then to Ethan, and I realized Donny was nervous. I think my stating so bluntly that he was leaving Ethan to be food had bothered him a little. A lot of people can do awful things as long as they don’t have to look at it too clearly. Lying to yourself doesn’t work if the truth is clear enough.
He turned without another word and walked away. His black clothing melded into the dark corridor within a few yards. They needed more light down here.
We were left standing in the dim corridor in a strangely thick silence. I felt my red tiger stir like a streak of fire called to life from cold wood. It made me close my eyes, take a deep breath, but that was a mistake, because I’d moved closer to Ethan without meaning to, and he didn’t just smell like red tiger. White tiger came out of the shadows where the beasts lived inside me. I knew there were no shadows inside me, or tall ancient trees, that it was just the landscape my mind created to help me cope with the beasts being inside me.
I was standing in front of Ethan staring up into those soft, gray eyes.
“Step back, Anita,” Edward said. I felt his hand hover over my shoulder.
I said, “Don’t touch me right now, Edward.”
He didn’t argue, just dropped his hand. I felt the heat of it get farther away when he stepped back. “Is the ardeur rising?”
“It’s trying to, but it’s more . . .” I stepped in close to Ethan. A good guard would have moved back, but he didn’t. I was careful not to touch him, but my face was just above his bare arm, just above the skin; I breathed in the scent of him, deep.
Then another scent and my blue tigress rose and began to pace with the others.
“I thought we had the only blue tiger male alive today, but that’s where the gray curls and eyes come from. The white tiger paled you out, but you’re blue.”
“My grandmother was blue, but you do have the only pure blue tiger male. I’m so mixed up, I’m no color.”
“You’re not just red, or blue, or even white, you’re . . .” I didn’t say it out loud, because the Harlequin were trying to kill all the gold tigers; so far they’d missed them, but here was one that held a touch of that rich, golden power.
“I’m what?” he asked, and just looking up into his face I was almost certain he didn’t know that he held some of that precious bloodline. Interesting.
“How many forms do you have?” It came out as a whisper, with my mouth almost touching the skin of his arm.
“Three,” he said, and his voice was already deepening. I couldn’t tell if it was tiger, or just male reaction.
I wanted to ask, “Not four?” but I didn’t. The weretigers intermarried for genetic diversity, and most of them just looked like one side of their heritage or another.
At home I had Domino, who shifted to black and white, but physically his hair was black and white, showing the mix. If the human form showed just one, then one was what the tiger seemed to have. I’d never met another tiger who could do three colors, let alone four, but there was still that sweet scent of golden power. The gold tiger in me gave a soft, whuffing purr. I tried to think reasonably, but I didn’t feel reasonable. My skin felt heavy with need; things low in my body tightened. The reaction staggered me. Ethan reached out, took my arm, just instinct. Someone almost falls and you try to catch them. I could feel his hand through my jacket like heat and weight, as if his human shape were already only just something to hold all that power.
“Get out, Edward,” I said in a strangled voice.
“What?”
“Go back, see how the hunt’s going, but you can’t be here.”
“You’re going to lose control.”
“I think so,” I said.
“Anita . . .”
“Go, now, Edward, please, just go.” I was worried about my friend, but my eyes were all for the man in front of me. I stared up into those gray eyes and knew now that it was the color of his tiger. This close I could see the differences between human eyes and the tiger’s in his face. His arms had slid around me, drawing me in against his body; my arms were already around his waist.
“You want me?” He sounded surprised.
“Yes,” I said, and four different tigers began to trot up the long dark space inside me. I buried my face against his T-shirt and the chest underneath. He smelled like hot, red flame and the air after a lightning storm when it’s clean and fresh, and under that was candy. He smelled like cotton candy, sugary, sweet, something that would melt on your tongue. I’d found that all the gold tigers smelled like something sweet to me, under the sweet smell of candy was another sweet scent. Clover—white clover on a hot summer’s day—was what his blue tiger smelled like. Cynric at home smelled like a whole garden in high summer, so apparently blue tigers smelled like green, growing things. Four of my tigers stared up at me, their lips drawn back, to take in the scent of his skin, as deeply as we could breathe it in. They gave a chorus of growling purrs that rumbled up through my body as if my bones were a tuning fork for the beginning of some deep, bass song. It made my knees go weak. Ethan caught me, which pushed our bodies that last inch together. I could feel that his body was hard and eager already. The sensation of it drew a small noise from me. “Yes, I want you.” And the ardeur rose up in me like a wave, but this time the tigers inside me weren’t fighting it; their power mingled with the ardeur, and I realized something I hadn’t before. I had some of the same power as the old Master of Tigers, but the ardeur had turned it into something else, something warmer, kinder, more alive. That aliveness spilled up my skin and over his, so that he cried out, wordless, eyes closing, back bowing, arms tightening around me to simply keep him standing.
“So much power,” he whispered.
I had a moment to wonder if this was just the ardeur feeding, or if I would accidentally bind him to me metaphysically. I didn’t need more men in my life, not permanently. The thought helped me push the ardeur away, just a little, so I could have another thought. Ethan didn’t deserve to be bound to me forever, not by accident. I didn’t want to take his free will. I didn’t want to trap him, or me.
I was able to climb back into the driver’s seat of my own head. Ethan stared down at me. “What’s wrong? The power’s fading.”
“Something is wrong with this feeding, Ethan. It’s different.”
“What?”
“There’s a chance that it won’t just be the ardeur. That I’ll bind you to me as my tiger to call.”
“Like Alex?” he asked.
I nodded, staring up at him, searching his face. He was handsome in a guy sort of way, cheekbones high, but thin-faced, so the shape was a soft rectangle. He had a dimple in his chin.
“Alex still has his life, his job; you haven’t hurt him.”
“I don’t always know how deep the binding will be, Ethan. Do you understand that? Do you understand that I can’t predict what will happen?”
He blinked down at me, trying to fight free of the pheromones on the air. He swallowed hard and then said, “You’re giving me a chance to back out.”
“Yes.”
“What’s the worst thing that could happen?”
“You could be a bride, as in Dracula’s brides. No real will of your own.” I stopped holding him so tight and tried to give us a little physical space to think. Ethan’s arms tightened against my back. “You can’t want that for yourself.”