“Ease down, Bernardo, he’s okay.” I held my hand out to Ethan.
He shook his head. “He’s armed, and he’s scared of me. I’ll stay farther away.”
I glared at Bernardo. “Stand down, Bernardo. He’s my”—what word should I use?—“lover. It’s okay.”
“Edward said that you were with a local weretiger. He said you were feeding the ardeur.”
“Then why is your hand still on your gun?” I asked.
“Because from the smell and look of the bed he just changed shape recently, which means he’s hungry. You’re his lover, he likes you; he doesn’t know me.”
“New shapeshifters are compelled to eat right after the change. That stops being true as they get more practice. Do you really think I’d be alone with a shapeshifter so new that he’d lose control like that?”
“You’re like me, Anita; you don’t always make good decisions when you find new tail.”
“I don’t like that phrase. None of my lovers are just ‘new tail.’”
He shrugged, hand still touching his gun. “Fine, but when we see someone we want to sleep with, we don’t always think it through first.”
Was he right about me? He was certainly right about the ardeur picking quick and hard, and not always the best choices. I had more control now, but . . . If he was right, he was right, and I had to let it go.
“And, Anita, this is a small room, and honestly if I didn’t trust you, I’d have my gun out and pointed at your blond friend. Pointed, aimed, and ready to shoot would be my only chance against something as fast as a lycanthrope in a room this small, Anita.”
I nodded. “I know that.”
“Then why are you bitching that I’m touching my gun?”
It was a good point. I shrugged, which made the towel begin to slip again. I caught it earlier this time, so I was still covered. “Fine. Ethan, this is Marshal Bernardo Spotted-Horse.”
Ethan waved a hand that was big enough to palm Bernardo’s skull. I guess in the end there was nothing I could do to make Bernardo comfortable with the big weretiger in the small room, and then I realized something else. Ethan was naked. He was like most wereanimals and not bothered by nudity, but in this shape he wouldn’t fit in any clothes he’d brought for his under-six-feet human form. Well, maybe the boxers?
But a lot of men had problems with other men being nude, especially if they were well endowed. There was always a measuring stick in a man’s mind when it came to certain things. Who was taller, and who was, um, well, bigger.
I tried to look at Ethan in this form from a guy’s point of view, and realized there might be more than one reason that a human male might be intimidated.
I looked back at Bernardo, and it was my turn to grin. “Is the nudity bothering you? I mean, Ethan’s?”
Bernardo shook his head, but his eyes sort of flickered downward.
My grin got broader. “Of all the human men I’ve seen nude, Bernardo, you are the last person I thought would be intimidated by size.” I laughed, I couldn’t help it.
“Are you saying that he’s as big in human form as I am in this form?” Ethan asked. Most men wouldn’t have asked that blandly.
I glanced back at Bernardo. “From what I remember, yeah.”
Bernardo gave me a mild version of his sexy smile, but it never reached his eyes. They were all wary, and worried about the most dangerous thing in the room. He’d flirt, but not until he was sure of the weretiger. The way he was acting, I wasn’t certain there was a way for him to be comfortable around the weretiger in half-man form.
“Is he an old lover of yours?” Ethan asked.
“No,” I said, and my face was still soft with the fading laugh.
“Then how do you know how well endowed he is?” Ethan asked.
I looked at him. “Are you jealous?”
The cat face frowned, but there was a very human intelligence through those eyes. “I think so, and I’m sorry. I know that doesn’t work for you, and it doesn’t work in the red clan. The women totally get to pick the men, so I can’t even say it’s my culture.” He spread those big hands that I knew with a flick of his muscles could reveal claws big enough to slice me open. “It’s just that it’s been a long time, and the thought of sharing this soon hurts a little.”
I went to him, and was out of hands. I put the gun on the edge of the bare mattress and turned back to the towering, furred figure. I’d learned a long time ago that being physically intimidating didn’t keep you from getting your feelings hurt. Everyone’s heart is the same size.
I hugged him one-armed, until his arms wrapped around me, holding me close enough that the press of our bodies would hold the towel in place. I hugged him with both arms then, letting my hands play in the soft, thick fur of his back. He leaned down over me, bending more and more of that tall upper body over me until he could press his face against the top of my head. He huffed against my hair; it was something a lot of cats did, sort of halfway between a breath going out and in, and a soft sound that was used for talking to kittens or favorite people. It was a good, caring sound. I hugged him tighter, rubbing my cheek against the warmth of him. The fur was thinner on the front of him so that I could touch his skin through the silky fur. He was so warm.
“Thank you,” he said, as he stood up straighter. Something about the hugging and moving made the towel begin to slide down, but all Bernardo was seeing was my bare back. He could see that. I kept hugging the big weretiger, and looked up until I could meet those blue and gold eyes. “You’re welcome, and thank you for stripping the bed.”
“We’d have ruined the mattress otherwise.”
“I know, but thanks for thinking of it anyway. I like men who are domestically inclined.” I grinned at him, but he was still too serious. I tried again. “I do want you, and I’m inviting you now to come to St. Louis when this case is over.”
He smiled that flash of frightening teeth, but I’d been around enough beast forms to see the delight in his face, and the happiness in his eyes was unmistakable. He picked me up, sudden, unexpected, and effortless. He lifted me so he could look into my face. There are no lips to kiss in beast form, but I’d been dating lycanthropes for a while, and I knew to put my face against his and let him rub his furred cheeks on one side of my face and then the other. I returned the gesture, and put my arms around his shoulders. I realized the towel was no longer covering me. I had a choice of ruining the moment for modesty’s sake, or not worrying about the fact that Bernardo was seeing my bare ass. I decided not to worry, and let the joy in Ethan’s face be all the covering I needed. In the end, if you can make somebody that happy, what’s a little flashing between friends?
26
WE WRAPPED ETHAN’S new golden self in the last of the bedspreads, and had him fold all that size into the backseat of Bernardo’s rental car. While still in the room, Ethan had said, “I could be waiting for you when you get back.”
“I’ll be gone for hours, maybe until morning,” I said.
“I’d wait.”
I smiled at him. “If the bad guys weren’t killing weretigers, then I’d say yes, but I don’t want you here by yourself.”
“You don’t think I can take care of myself?”
Watching for male ego, I’d said, “You need to eat now that you’ve changed forms. Though I don’t like anyone else knowing you have a gold form, the only safe-ish place I can think to take you is back to the red clan.”
“But not forever,” he said, and even through the gold and the pointy fangs meant for meat-rending, he was unsure, almost afraid.
“I promise, Ethan, it’s not forever, but I gotta go catch bad guys now.”
So he’d hidden in the backseat, and I’d called Alex so someone would be there at the entrance to meet him. Alex was actually about to go into a press conference for his day job as a reporter, but he promised that two guards would be there, and they’d take care of Ethan for me. “I’m the prince of the clan, Anita; they’ll do what I say.”