That was what Guy so badly wanted to do.
He stepped out of the car and started up the walk. He had lived here twelve years now. He remembered holding his ex’s hand as they approached it for the first time, the way she smiled at him. Had she already been screwing around behind his back then? Probably. For years after she left him, Guy would wonder if Yasmin was really his. He would try to block it, try to claim it wouldn’t matter, try to ignore that doubt eating away at him. But after a while he couldn’t take it anymore. Two years ago, Guy surreptitiously arranged a paternity test. It took three painful weeks to get the results, but in the end, it was worth it.
Yasmin was his.
This might again sound pathetic, but knowing the truth made him a better father. He made sure that she was happy. He put her needs ahead of his. He loved Yasmin and cared for her and never belittled her like his father had done to him.
But he hadn’t protected her.
He stopped and looked at the house now. If he was going to put it on the market, it could probably use a fresh coat of paint. The shrubs would need to be trimmed too.
“Hey!”
The female voice was unfamiliar. Guy turned and squinted into the sunlight. He was stunned to see Lewiston ’s wife getting out of her car. Her face was twisted in rage. She started toward him.
Guy stood without moving.
“What do you think you’re doing,” she said, “driving past my house?”
Guy, never good with fast retorts, replied, “It’s a free country.”
Dolly Lewiston did not stop. She came at him so fast he feared that she might strike him. He actually put his hands up and took a step back. Pathetic weakling yet again. Afraid not only to stick up for his child but of her tormentor’s wife too.
She stopped and put a finger in his face. “You stay away from my family, you hear me?”
It took him a moment to gather his thoughts. “Do you know what your husband did to my daughter?”
“He made a mistake.”
“He made fun of an eleven-year-old girl.”
“I know what he did. It was dumb. He is very sorry. You have no idea.”
“He made my daughter’s life a living hell.”
“And so, what, you want to do the same to us?”
“Your husband should quit,” Guy said.
“For one slip of the tongue?”
“He took away her childhood.”
“You’re being melodramatic.”
“Do you really not remember what it was like back then-being the kid who got picked on every day? My daughter was a happy kid. Not perfect, no. But happy. And now…”
“Look, I’m sorry. I really am. But I want you to stay away from my family.”
“If he hit her-I mean, like slapped her or something-he’d be gone, right? What he did to Yasmin was even worse.”
Dolly Lewiston made a face. “Are you for real?”
“I’m not letting this go.”
She took a step toward him. This time he did not back up. Their faces were maybe a foot apart, no more. Her voice became a whisper. “Do you really think being called a name is the worst that can happen to her?”
He opened his mouth but nothing came out.
“You’re going after my family, Mr. Novak. My family. The people I love. My husband made a mistake. He apologized. But you still want to attack us. And if that’s the case, we will defend ourselves.”
“If you’re talking about a lawsuit-”
She chuckled. “Oh, no,” she said, still in that whisper. “I’m not talking about courts.”
“Then what?”
Dolly Lewiston tilted her head to the right. “Have you ever been physically assaulted, Mr. Novak?”
“Is that a threat?”
“It’s a question. You said that what my husband did was worse than a physical assault. Let me assure you, Mr. Novak. It is not. I know people. I give them the word-I just hint that someone is trying to hurt me-they’ll come by here one night when you’re sleeping. When your daughter is sleeping.”
Guy’s mouth felt dry. He tried to stop his knees from turning to rubber.
“That definitely sounds like a threat, Mrs. Lewiston.”
“It isn’t. It’s a fact. If you want to go after us, we aren’t going to sit on our hands and let you. I will go after you with everything I have. Do you understand?”
He didn’t reply.
“Do yourself a favor, Mr. Novak. Worry about taking care of your daughter, not my husband. Let it go.”
“I won’t.”
“Then the suffering has just begun.”
Dolly Lewiston turned around and left without another word. Guy Novak felt the quake in his legs. He stayed and watched her get in her car and drive away. She did not look back but he could see a smile on her face.
She’s nuts, Guy thought.
But did that mean he should back down? Hadn’t he backed down his whole damn life? Wasn’t that the problem from the get-go here- that he was a man you walked all over?
He opened the front door and headed inside.
“Everything okay?”
It was Beth, his latest girlfriend. She tried too hard to please. They all did. There was such a shortage of men in this age group and so they all tried so hard to both please and not appear desperate and none of them could quite pull it off. Desperation was like that. You could try to mask it, but the smell permeates all covers.
Guy wished that he could get past that. He wished that the women could get past it too, so that they would see him. But that was how it was and so all these relationships stayed on a superficial level. The women would want more. They would try not to pressure and that just felt like pressure. Women were nesters. They wanted to get closer. He wouldn’t. But they would stay anyway until he broke it off with them.
“Everything is fine,” Guy said to her. “Sorry if I took too long.”
“Not at all.”
“The girls okay?”
“Yes. Jill’s mom came by and picked her up. Yasmin is up in her room.”
“Okay, great.”
“Are you hungry, Guy? Would you like me to fix you something to eat?”
“Only if you’ll join me.”
Beth beamed a little, and for some reason that made him feel guilty. The women he dated made him feel both worthless and superior at the same time. Feelings of self-loathing consumed him once again.
She came over and kissed his cheek. “You go relax and I’ll start making lunch.”
“Great, I’m just going to quickly check my e-mail.”
But when Guy checked his computer, there was only one new e-mail. It came from an anonymous Hotmail account and the short message chilled Guy’s blood.
Please listen to me. You need to hide your gun better.
TIA almost wished that she’d taken up Hester Crimstein’s offer. She sat in her house and wondered if she had ever felt more useless in her entire life. She called Adam’s friends, but no one knew anything. Fear built in her head. Jill, no dummy when it came to her parents’ moods, knew something was seriously off.
“Where’s Adam, Mommy?”
“We don’t know, honey.”
“I called his cell,” Jill said. “He didn’t answer.”
“I know. We’re trying to find him.”
She looked at her daughter’s face. So adult. The second kid grows up so much differently from the first. You so overprotect your first. You watch his every step. You think his every breath is somehow God’s divine plan. The earth, moon, stars, sun-they all revolve around a firstborn.
Tia thought about secrets, about inner thoughts and fears, and how she’d been trying to find her son’s. She wondered if this disappearance confirmed that she’d been right to do it or wrong. We all have our problems, she knew. Tia had anxiety issues. She religiously made the kids wear headgear when playing any sort of sport- eyewear too when it was called for. She stayed at the bus stop until they got in, even now, even when Adam was far too old for such treatment and would never stand it, so she hid and watched. She didn’t like them crossing busy streets or heading to the center of town on their bikes. She didn’t like carpooling because that other mother might not be as careful a driver. She listened to every story about every child tragedy-every car accident, every pool drowning, every abduction, every plane crash, anything. She listened and then she came home and looked it up online and read every article on it and while Mike would sigh and try to calm her down by talking about the long-shot odds, prove to her that her anxiety was unfounded, it would do no good.