Little black dots swam before her eyes and she had to lock her knees to remain upright. “I…see.” The anguished words were barely audible. Yet as soon as she uttered them she realized that, no, she didn’t see. Not at all. A kernel of anger sparked to life in her stalled heart, flaming brighter with each passing second until she narrowed her eyes at him.
“So that’s it? It’s all over? Just like that?”
To his credit, he looked as ripped apart as she felt. “I’m sorry. But I hope we can-”
“Can what? Stay friends?”
He blinked then frowned. He opened his mouth to speak but she rushed on, tears flooding her eyes with each word. “How can you do this? Where’s the man who said he loved me more than anything? Who wanted nothing more than to be my husband? The father of our children? Who wanted to grow old with me?”
His frown grew deeper. “He’s right here.” He leaned toward her and peered at her face. “Oh, crap, you’re crying.” He moved to the nightstand and ripped half a dozen tissues from the box there.
With shaking fingers she swiped impatiently at the wetness coursing down her cheeks but the tears were instantly replaced by a new flood. God, how was it possible to hurt so much? She felt as if her heart were hemorrhaging. “You sound surprised,” she said, her voice trembling and bitter. “Did you think I’d turn cartwheels when you broke our engagement?”
His tissue-laden hand froze halfway to her cheek and he stared. “What are you talking about?”
She snatched the tissues from his hand and scrubbed at her eyes. Her diamond glimmered in the firelight and she squeezed her eyes shut to block out the sight of the ring that had represented all her hopes and dreams.
His hands cupped her wet face. “Jess, look at me. Sweetheart, please…”
A sob caught in her throat. Great. Not only did he not want her anymore, but he was tossing out pity endearments. She opened her eyes and found him staring at her, his confused gaze intent on hers. “You think I’m breaking our engagement?”
She blinked at the incredulous note in his voice. “Are…aren’t you?”
“No! God, no. Never. No.” He peppered kisses all over her wet cheeks. “How could you possibly think that?”
“Uh, I guess because you were saying things like ‘it’s over’ and ‘I’m done.’”
He wrapped one strong arm around her waist and yanked her against him. With his other hand he dabbed at her tears. “I was talking about the wedding. Not us.” He cupped her cheek in his palm and looked deep into her eyes. “Jess…I love you so much. I would never give up on us. Ever.” There was no missing the hurt that flashed in his eyes. “I can’t believe you’d think I would leave you.”
Her relief was so intense she felt light-headed. “I’m sorry. At first I couldn’t believe it. But you were so upset when we overheard my mother, and so serious now with your ‘we need to talk.’” She kissed him, once, hard, then leaned back to glare at him. “You could have made yourself clearer, you know.”
“I thought I was being clear.”
“Yeah-like mud.”
“In my own defense, it never occurred to me you’d think I was dumping you.”
She framed his face between her still-not-quite-steady hands. “As if you could.” She hiked up her chin. “I’m not an easy woman to dump.”
“Sweetheart, it would be impossible. How could I live without my heart?”
Her chin quivered. “Okay, that was a very romantic thing to say.”
“And totally true. Ending our engagement never once crossed my mind.”
“You scared me to death.”
“I’m sorry.” He brushed his mouth over hers. “Sorry I scared you, sorry I made you cry.” He raised his head and searched her eyes. “Forgive me?”
“I suppose.” She sniffled. “But only if you promise never to frighten me like that again.”
“Promise.” A glint of humor flickered in his eyes. “Good to know, though, that you’d have missed me.”
“Ha. I wouldn’t have missed you one bit.”
“Yeah, that’s obvious, Miss Waterworks,” he teased, gently blotting away the last remnants of her tears with the wad of tissues he pried from her fingers.
“I wouldn’t have missed you because I wouldn’t have let you get away. I have silk scarves to tie you up with and I’m not afraid to use them.”
He grinned. “You’ve been reading my letter to Santa again.” Then his expression sobered. “Jess, what I was trying to say about the wedding is that it’s caused nothing but problems, ones that seem to multiply no matter what we do. So let’s not do it.” He cupped her cheek in his hand. “I want to marry you, so I can spend the rest of my life with you. A fancy wedding doesn’t make a damn bit of difference to me. Saying vows to you does.” Clasping her hands in his, he dropped to one knee in front of her. “Jess, will you marry me? I mean marry me-not have a fancy wedding with me?”
Another batch of tears rushed into her eyes. A half laugh, half cry rushed from her. “Yes. God, yes. Please, yes.” He stood and caught her up in his arms and spun her around until they were both laughing and breathless. And then he kissed her, a deep, passionate kiss that tasted of love and happiness. After he lifted his head, she said, “This is exactly what I wanted to talk to you about. I shared a very long and exhausting conversation with my mother, but it did us both a world of good. We cleared the air about a lot of things and after a lot of arguing, tears and finally some laughter, we came to an understanding.”
“What’s that?”
“First, that I love you and am going to marry you. If she doesn’t accept that, our mother-daughter relationship will be irreparably damaged. And second, that this is our wedding. Yours and mine. And that we’re going to plan something very small and intimate. That we might even decide to elope. Or jet off to Vegas. But we’re going to do what we want, when we want. I told her if she’d like to throw a party for us sometime afterward, that would be fine, but that I really thought she should save her money and take a nice singles cruise. Maybe she’d meet a nice man and could someday plan her own extravagant wedding.”
“And she accepted that?”
“It wasn’t an easy sell and she’s definitely disappointed since she’s been dreaming of my wedding for years. But in the end she finally realized that she needed to accept our decisions even though they might not be the ones she’d make. I made it extremely clear that there was to be no more interfering or manipulating. I don’t think she understood how bad she’d gotten, but I made her see the light and she apologized, as well as promised she’d try her best to do better. She really is a good mom. I honestly think she’s just lonely.”
“So let me get this straight-you’d already decided that you didn’t want a big fancy wedding before I gave you my whole sales pitch?”
She grinned at his grumpy tone. “Yup.” She looped her arms around his neck. “Great minds and all that.”
“Great. So how would you feel about getting married here? Today? Now?”
She blinked. “Now?”
“Well, not right this minute, but in about-” he lifted his left arm and consulted his watch over her shoulder “-two hours?”
She was about to laugh, but something in his eyes stilled her. “You’re serious.”
“Extremely. When I realized I couldn’t take the fancy wedding thing any longer, I decided to take matters into my own hands. Those four hours you were with your mom? I spent them making arrangements.”
A wave of cautious joy spread through her. “But we’re snowed in. How could you possibly make arrangements?”
“You forget my very formidable wedding planner sister is here. Between me, her and Helen and Roland Krause, things are rolling right along. Apparently Timberline Lodge is a popular wedding ceremony spot.”
“But who would perform the ceremony?”