Jill supposed she should be glad. After all, she'd taken on the appearance of a model most men would be drooling over, yet Nick hardly seemed to notice she was there.
They were perhaps halfway through the parade when Jill began trying to strike up a conversation with Nick. She pointed out a child on the side with reindeer horns on and a glowing red nose, but while Nick smiled faintly, it didn't lead to anything. She tried again several times, but the man just wasn't receptive. He was polite enough, but cool in his responses until Jill finally just gave up the flirty attempts and decided to try the direct approach.
"Would you like to go out for dinner after the parade?" she asked suddenly, and was amazed at herself for having the courage to do so. It seemed being someone else gave her courage she'd never had as herself. Jill had never been the sort to ask men out, she always waited for the man to ask… which was perhaps why she never ended up dating anyone she was really interested in. Now she waited for Nick's answer, wondering why she'd even asked. She didn't want to date him as stick-thin model Noelle. She didn't even want him to like stick-thin model Noelle. She wanted him to like her, Jill, as herself.
"Look, you seem like a nice woman, Noelle," Nick said gently. "But Jay was right, I am interested in Jill."
She sucked in a breath. He'd just said the one thing guaranteed to make her the happiest girl in the parade, maybe even the town. Here he stood, rejecting a woman with the face and body of an international magazine model for little old Jill. She could have kissed him.
Her glee lasted for a very brief moment and then it was pushed out of her brain by questions. If he was interested in her why hadn't he asked her out? Was he just using that as an excuse for him to let Noelle down easy? And if he wasn't interested in Noelle, or Jill at least not interested enough to ask her out, maybe… God! Kyle couldn't be right. Nick wasn't gay was he?
"What?"
Jill blinked her thoughts away to see that Nick had stopped throwing candy to stare at her. He was frowning under his fake beard as he took in the expressions her thoughts were scribbling across her face and obviously wanted to know what was behind them, she realized. Jill hesitated, but then blurted, "If you're so interested in Jill, why haven't you asked her out?"
She saw his mouth tighten between the white mustache and beard and was sure he was going to tell her to mind her own business, so she quickly blurted, "We're friends… and I've been worried about her. You seem to be stringing her along, eating lunches with her, showing interest but not too much interest, never asking her out…" Jill watched the play of expressions on his face, then impulsively added, "Her brother thinks you're gay."
"Gay?" Nick's eyes widened in alarm.
"Yes. He thinks that's why you haven't asked Jill out," she murmured quietly, and then added, "If you are you should just tell her so. She'd still be friends with you, but you shouldn't string her along like this."
Nick was frowning now and looking a bit put out. Jill waited, wondering if he'd tell her to go to hell, or actually respond at all, but then he heaved out an exasperated sigh and said, "I'm not gay."
She felt every muscle in her body relax at this news. Jill had told herself she didn't believe he was, but the possibility had bothered her ever since Kyle had brought it up. His answer eliminated the problem, however. Now she just had to find out why—if he was interested in her—he hadn't asked her out. The easiest way was to ask, so she did. "Then why haven't you asked her out?"
Nick pursed his lips and then said, "Because I haven't been free to do so."
Jill blinked at this simple explanation. Not free? Like how? God! He wasn't married was he? Oh dear God, if she'd gone and fallen for a married guy—
"I was in the middle of a divorce when I opened the store next to Jill's. I've been waiting for the divorce to go through before asking her out. Besides, I didn't want a rebound relationship. The first year after separating from my wife, I dated around a lot, but then I realized I was picking women who were all just like my ex-wife. I decided it would be best to take a year off from dating, give myself that time to deal with all the issues from my marriage, decide what I really wanted in a partner and then consider dating again. The next time I marry I want it to really be 'until death do us part.»
"I suppose there were lots of women you've been interested in during that time," she murmured.
"Yes," he admitted. "There are a lot of attractive women in the world."
"Yes," she agreed with a frown.
"But none of them were as interesting to me as Jill is."
She stiffened, her ears suddenly pricking.
Nick grimaced and shook his head before continuing. "I was halfway through that promised year when I opened the shop here and met Jill. Suddenly, keeping to that year was hard. I actually like Jill. It isn't just sexual interest with her. She's normal and sane and funny and smart and sexy… everything I've ever wanted in a woman."
Jill sucked in a breath at this news, her heart suddenly bursting with hope.
"Actually, I think this year business turned out to be a good thing for us," he said quietly. "It forced me to be a friend to her first and through that I've found we get along great. We work well together as a team. We like many of the same things…" He shrugged. "I didn't even know that much about my wife when I married her. And while I was sure two years ago that I would never marry again, I think I'd be willing to risk it with Jill… if she was interested."
"Oh, I'm sure she'd be interested," Jill assured him with a grin. She felt like her heart was bursting. He liked her! And he thought she was funny, smart, and sexy.
"I guess we'll see when I ask her out."
"When will that be?" Jill asked with excitement. "I mean when is the year up?"
"Both the year and the divorce were final yesterday. I signed the final decree last night." Nick admitted and then gave a dry laugh. "And actually, I had it all planned to ask her out today."
Jill had to grab onto Santa's chair to keep from jumping up and down with glee and squealing.
Nick continued. "I was going to invite her to my sister's Christmas party after the parade. That way there'd be no nervous, first-date jitters, just a relaxed invitation to join me at my sister's. I even invited the others in the parade along too so she wouldn't feel pressured."
"Oh," Jill breathed, thinking he was the most thoughtful man in the world. If he'd asked her out on an actual date the first time, she would have been over the moon, until the first-date jitters set in. Then she would have spent whatever time there was between his asking and the actual date fretting over what to wear, what to say, desperate to have everything perfect.
God, what a clever man he was. His way was so much more relaxed. If he invited her with a bunch of people, she would have been relaxed thinking it was just a group thing and—
Damn! Jill's happiness turned to dismay as she realized that John and his craziness had completely screwed up everything. There wouldn't be any relaxed first date because she wasn't here. Her first date, probably, finally their first kiss too. Jill had been fantasizing about that first kiss for so long, she doubted the real thing could live up to it. She would have liked to find out though. Dammit! Why had John chosen today of all days to act like a crazy prick and zap her? If not for him she'd be herself up here and she so wanted to be herself right then.
"Say, why is that guy coming out of Jill's store?"
Jill let go of her thoughts and glanced around with confusion. Nick was peering to the left of the float and she followed his gaze, noting that they'd reached their street of stores. The parade was almost over. At the end of this road, they would pull into the parking lot and disband. Her gaze slid along the storefronts until she found her own and she stiffened as she spotted the man now turning away from the door of her store. John Heathcliffe. His gaze slid over the people on the street and then across the floats passing by until it landed on her where it froze, eyes widening with incredulous recognition.