When he finally touched the floor, he found wide-plank hardwood with thick Persian-style rugs welcoming his bare feet. Naked, he kept the sheet around his waist. His pack was on the floor beside the bed, and his clothes were folded and resting on a soft chair. His knife, as well as the still-holstered pistol, remained on his belt.
“Oh, good morning, Ellis Rogers! I thought you’d sleep the day away. Are you feeling better?”
Ellis jumped. He didn’t see anyone but pulled the sheet tighter.
“Who’s there?” he asked, peering out toward the open archway that led to another room.
“ I am Sexton Alva. Pax’s vox. They told me you might be disoriented and thoroughly grassed, so I needed to go easy on you. But honestly I find the whole matter utterly amazing!”
This voice was different from all the others: decidedly female, but he couldn’t tell where she was and kept the sheet tight.
“Where are you?”
“ What’s that, dear?”
“Where are you? I can’t see—”
“ Oh, Pax wasn’t kidding. You are completely sonic. Fantastic! Of course you can’t see me. I told you. I’m Pax’s vox.”
“What’s a vox?”
“ Ha! Utterly magnetic. Really it is—you have no idea. And the way you talk! You really are grassed—real grassed like with spears and bows and arrows and such. I don’t think I can explain what a vox is to you—no point of reference, really. You probably think I’m some sort of spirit. You worship rivers and rocks, right? Have a god for everything? You can just consider me the spirit of this house. But don’t worry. I’m a good spirit. Just call me Alva, honey.”
Ellis continued to turn his head, trying to locate the source of the voice without luck. It seemed to come from everywhere at once. “I’m not from that far in the past.”
“What’s that?”
“I’m not from that long ago. We didn’t have spears and bows. We had cars and planes and computers and—”
“ Computers! Yes—that’s me.”
“You’re a computer?”
“ No, but it is certainly better than a spirit, isn’t it? I’m about as much like a computer as an abacus is. I’m Pax’s caretaker. I keep the place running, keep everyone happy and safe. Tell them what to eat in the mornings, relay messages, arrange parties, water plants, entertain everyone, teach them, advise them, watch out for them—more Pax than Vin, of course. Pax is always eager to learn; Vin apparently knows everything already.” This last comment came with a heavy dose of sarcasm. “ I’ve looked after Pax for centuries. Wonderful, wonderful person, and not at all crazy, you understand. You’ll do well to remember that if you stay here—or you’ll find too much pepper in your meals, and your bath will always be a tad too cold or too hot. I’m sorry. I don’t like making such vile threats, but when it comes to protecting Pax, I’m an animal.”
“ Whereare you, exactly?”
“ Oh, my physical installation is built into the foundations of the complex, on the sublevel.”
“So—you’re like a furnace or a water heater?”
“ Ha! You’re wonderful. In seven hundred and eighteen years no one has ever called me a furnace or water heater. That’s very clever. You don’t know how hard it is to be original these days. But you’re original, aren’t you? I mean, truly original. No others like you at all—ever. That’s just amazing. You’re like a tree, but you can talk!”
“Speaking of that. Alva, I have a question.”
“ Wonderful! I’m great at trivia.”
“I was wondering why we understand each other. After two thousand years I would have thought language would have changed more than it seems to have. And why English?”
“Oh, you can thank the British Empire for that. Imperialism in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries established the English language as the dominate common tongue the same way that the Roman Empire had established Latin as the previous international language. The dominance of the global economy by such English-speaking countries as the United States further required all the world’s nations to view English as the necessary international language of commerce, which—”
“Okay—okay, so that explains why English survived, but why is it still so—I mean, people in the Middle Ages didn’t talk the way I do, even though they spoke English.”
“That’s because the Middle Ages didn’t coexist with a post-globalization environment. Most linguistic changes are the result of assimilating other languages or because isolation causes the independent evolution of a dialect. By 2090, the impact of variations had been reduced to negligible levels as non-English languages were abandoned—wiped out by lack of use. If you wanted to compete economically, you adjusted to the language of commerce. Sure, there are fads and fancies, but the sheer size of the consistent user base and the tendency of humans to prefer familiarity led to a relatively stable form of communication. The longer life spans of humans also reduced trends of change.”
Ellis wondered if all that wasn’t a pleasant way of saying that Hollow World had a militant Ministry of Grammar Nazis.
“Alva, I have another question.”
“I would suspect you have more than one, but go ahead, dear.”
“Is this Pax’s home?”
“ Yes. Beautiful, isn’t it? You need to go out on the balcony. Everyone loves the balcony. I’m so glad Pax brought you here. I’m sure Pax is just as happy. Pax loves old stuff.”
“Is anyone else here?”
“ Just you and me, honey. Pax and Vin went out—but don’t be upset. They expected you’d be asleep longer, and they’ll be back soon. I’ve already told them you’re awake. Besides, I’m here. Is there anything you’d like? They pumped you full of liquids, but I was told to keep you drinking. Would you like tea? Lemonade, Cistrin? Vistune red or white?”
While Ellis was curious as to how a disembodied computer-voice might go about handing him a drink, he had more pressing concerns. “Actually, I could use a bathroom. I need to ah…urinate and would love a shower or a chance to brush my teeth.”
“Urinate! But of course.”A light went on inside a small archway he hadn’t noticed before. “ Right this way, Ellis Rogers.”
Ellis pulled his pants on. They were clean, no stain of blood. He grabbed his pack and the rest of his clothing, and passed through the archway. Inside was a rain forest. Massive trees, covered in fragrant flowers and draped with vines, rose from lush vegetation where butterflies fluttered. He spotted a spring-fed basin formed from a sink-shaped rock jutting out from a cliff.
“ Past the vines,” he heard Alva say.
Passing through a curtain similar to what an explorer might machete through, he found a waterfall that cascaded into a beautiful lagoon.
“Sheesh,” he blurted out.
“ What was that, dear?”
“Nothing,” Ellis said. “Just talking to myself.”
“ Why do that when I’m here?”
“Is this water always running?”
“ Of course not. I turned it on for you. The waterfall is at forty degrees. Let me know if you’d like it hotter or colder.”
Forty?Ellis touched the water, found it pleasantly hot, and shrugged.