The smell of cut grass filled the air. Ellis sighed.
What am I going to say?
He didn’t really know.
Warren had invited him to be part of his little village. Life at Firestone might be harder than he was used to, and for Dex, Yal, Hig, and Bob, this might be a pretend life, like dude ranching used to be, some sort of rugged vacation or spiritual retreat. But for Warren and himself, who didn’t have a natural place in Hollow World, this could be home. He was a bit too old to be hauling bales of hay, but it was familiar and felt real, and he liked the idea of building something. Having faced death with nothing to show for it, he had discovered such things mattered.
But then there was Pax.
Ellis found he was anxious for Pax’s return, and surprised to find he was trembling as he waited at the fence. He couldn’t help thinking how great it would be if Pax would join them at Firestone. They could share a house, farm the land, create their own food, and read around the stove in winter. Living with Pax would be different from how it had been with Peggy. What had attracted him to her was sex. When it dried up, and it had all too quickly, all they shared was their child. At Isley’s passing, all that had remained was convenience. It would be different with Pax. He felt—
I thought maybe you were going native, walking on the other side of the road, so to speak.
Warren was nuts. He liked Pax—that was all. Who wouldn’t like Pax? The two of them just sort of clicked, like old friends who’d just met. Friends-at-first-sight, if there was such a thing. Pax made him feel better about himself, made him feel like he was someone important. Pax had a strange way of making him feel happy. That’s what good friends were supposed to do, right? Maybe he just never had a really good friend before. Maybe that was why…Ellis watched Hig orbit the field, wondering if it was possible to fall in love with someone—just someone—not a woman, not a man—just a person. What is love anyway?
Ellis shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. What the hell am I thinking?
He was starting to feel a little light-headed. His hands felt a bit numb as well.
“Ellis Rogers.”
There hadn’t been a flash or pop, but when he turned he saw the familiar bowler hat and silver vest. Pax’s face was rich with joy—beaming with a wide smile.
Pax ran the distance between them and without warning hugged Ellis tight. “I was worried. I’m so glad you’re all right.”
“I missed you too,” he said, noticing how Pax smelled like cinnamon, like the room he’d first awakened in.
Pax drew back and shot a quick glance over Ellis’s shoulder at the house and another at Hig and his horse team. “Can we go? Alva misses you too.”
“What about Vin?”
“Vin can kiss my hairless butt.”
Ellis couldn’t help laughing, which made Pax laugh, and he was surprised how much he enjoyed that sound and seeing Pax happy. “C’mon.” Pax formed a portal just behind them, and once more Ellis could see the dining room. “Alva has a hot-chocolate pattern for you to try.”
“Hot chocolate, eh?”
“With something called marshmallows—although Alva won’t tell me what they are. Every time I ask about food from your time she says, ‘You don’t want to know.’”
Ellis hesitated. He wanted to go. But…
You hear about guys that go to prison and figure they got no choice, you know?
“Pax,” Ellis began, “I don’t think I can.”
“What do you mean?”
The dining room looked so inviting, and yet… You two trying out some new-age sex toys?
“I think I’m going to stay here.”
“What?” The word was spoken in a barely audible whisper that killed the smile.
Ellis felt horrible. “I don’t really belong in Hollow World, but I was thinking that maybe you might consider staying here, too—with me.”
“What are you talking about? Everyone belongs in Hollow World. That’s theworld. People aren’t meant to liveon the surface.”
“But what would I do there?”
“Live, like everyone else.”
“But I’m not like everyone else.”
“I know. Don’t you think I know that? But…” Pax looked again toward the house. “This place, these people, that Ren—they’re…bad. They’re…evil.”
“Warren is like my brother.” Ellis sighed, realizing how useless it was to describe that kind of bond to someone who had never been part of a family. “He and I are very close. We’ve been through a lot together. He’s always been there when I needed him—always.”
“You have to listen to me, Ellis Rogers. We didn’t solve all the mysteries concerning the murder of Geo-24. Something else is going on. Geo-24 was killed for a reason. The real Pol-789 was killed for a reason, and Ren is behind all of it. Ren said they came to this farm a year ago. Well, a year ago was when the first murder took place, and it was then that protests against the Hive Project became more organized and vocal. Protests against something that isn’t even possible. They’re up to something, something horrible, and if you stay here…”
“What? I’ll become evil too?”
Pax looked down at his pistol, still strapped to his hip. Wearing it had become a habit.
“Of course not—you could never be. That’s why they’ll have to kill you. They will kill you, take your gun, and then kill others. Come back with me, please.”
“But you still can’t tell me why—why you think any of this?”
Pax looked away. “Can’t you just trust me?”
“Pol told me about your past—some of it, at least. Why Vin lives with you.”
Pax sucked in a breath and quivered. Tears formed. One slipped down, leaving a glistening trail. “That was personal, confidential. The real Pol would never tell anyone.”
“Pol was just trying to help.”
“Help Ren, you mean. Ren’s not your friend. They want you for something. Something they need. Something they can’t get on their own. I wish you could just believe me. I’ve never lied to you.”
Ellis felt horrible. He hated the look on Pax’s face, knowing he had put it there. Pax had been so happy, and now…“I don’t think it’s a matter of lying. Maybe it’s just that you don’t know the difference.”
Again Pax stared at him, injured. “Because—because I’m crazy?”
“No—I didn’t say that.”
“But you think there’s something wrong with me.”
“This isn’t about you. It’s about taking responsibility for one’s self. It’s about doing something worthwhile. And…think about it for a second. I’ve known you for what? Three days? I’ve known Warren since I was fourteen. We share a history, a life, a world. I understand him. He understands me, but I barely know you.”
“I understand you, Ellis Rogers, whether you believe it or not. I also know that if you stay here, they’ll use you. They’ll take your gun and—”
“Here.” Ellis unbuckled the holster and pressed it into Pax’s hands. “Space it if it makes you feel better. Do like we did to your chip. Destroy it. I don’t care. I’m going to stay here. Warren traveled two thousand years to find me. I can’t just abandon him to go drink hot chocolate. He needs me—more than he knows, because he’s got some really stupid ideas that I’m going to have to straighten out. We’re going to try and build a future, a real future in a real world with real people.”
“Realpeople?”
“I—I didn’t mean it that way.”
“How did you mean it?”
“I meant…”
“You meant people like you—Darwins.”
“Well—yeah. Warren thinks we can get the ISP to provide access to some female patterns, then we can restart a natural population here.”
Pax didn’t say anything.