It took some effort to return Holly's attention to the conversation at hand. "Does it really matter? I'll never see his face. He could look like Shrek and I'd never know."
Miss Bright's lips twisted up in a half-smile. "Is that part of your fantasy? You'd like your intruder to be a green ogre? Because we could arrange it."
Holly gasped. "No. Of course not. Who would want to have sex with an ogre?"
"You'd be surprised. There are some women out there who are obsessed with that Lord of the Rings Trilogy. But seriously, looks don't matter at all?"
Holly hesitated. Did it really matter? Probably not, but she would enjoy this a lot more if she believed that her dream lover didn't resemble a monster. "I guess he should be well-built and not too hairy."
Miss Bright made some notes on Holly's application. "That's it? I must say that is the least detail a client has ever given me. Usually they have an extensive list of required physical attributes for their SF. Everything from eye color to shoe size."
Holly rubbed her forehead with the heel of her hand. She was getting a headache. Sleep deprivation was making her irritable and impatient. She desperately wanted Miss Bright to just get on with this. She couldn't wait to return to her normal, boring life, without wild sex dreams or nightmares plaguing her every night. Was that too much to ask without this interrogation?
"I supposed if I was actually doing this for my own sexual gratification, then his looks would matter. But I'm really just here to exorcise a demon, not fulfill some kind of weird fantasy."
"Why not?"
"What do you mean?’ Why not?' I told you why I'm doing this."
"Well, yes, but why can't we combine your purpose with some real pleasure? You must have had some kind of fantasy life before all this happened. All women have a secret desire they've always wanted to play out. Perhaps this is an opportunity to experience yours?"
Holly looked at her blankly.
Miss Bright's eyes widened. "You mean, you've never had a sexual fantasy before?"
Holly just shrugged. "What can I say? I'm just not a very sexual person. Now, can we get back to my purpose for being here?"
Miss Bright sighed. "If you insist, but are you sure you don't want to modify your scenario a bit? Maybe add another intruder to spice things up? Male or female?" Holly shook her head vehemently at this suggestion. "Or, I know, how about a movie re-enactment? We could do the 9 1/2 weeks refrigerator scene. You could remain blindfolded throughout the whole thing, just like Kim Basinger's character. How about something like that?" She looked at Holly expectantly.
Against her better judgment, Holly considered Miss Bright's proposal for a second. That scene had been pretty sexy. If she was honest with herself she felt intrigued by the notion of reliving it. But being fed random items out of her refrigerator by her dream man was too much of a departure from that horrible night. As much as she would like to explore her sensuality at some point in her life, it would have to wait until she was psychologically stable again. Which meant sticking to the scenario she'd already described. And hopefully she could do some exploring with a lover rather than a paid stranger someday. Once again, she thought of Constable Delgado, but then pushed his image away.
"I know you're just trying to help, but none of that's necessary. Just a home invasion, and some mildly rough sex. And then a swift departure. No fuss, no muss."
"And you wish to be blindfolded throughout the whole scenario?"
"Yes."
"Alright, but that seems a bit of a shame. Our SFs work very hard on their bodies. It's one of our requirements. So, I can't help but think you're being short-changed in some way. You are a photographer, aren't you? It seems odd to me that you would deprive yourself of this visual experience."
"As I said before, this isn't about my pleasure."
"So you keep saying. But it almost seems like you're purposely trying to make this as un pleasant as possible. Like you're punishing yourself on some level. Why is that?"
Holly looked down at her lap again. The truth was that she wasn't anticipating anything remotely pleasurable about this encounter. Or any encounter for that matter. At best, her previous sexual experiences could only be described as mildly pleasant. At worst, they had been unspeakably awkward, confusing and boring. She didn't really see how this unnatural situation would be any different. Until recently, she had believed she was frigid. Had even accepted it. Not everyone was wired the same, and she was just missing a sex drive. No big deal. People functioned with much more serious impairments and she really didn't feel an overwhelming need to solve her embarrassing problem.
Then the dreams had begun and she had discovered that a small, dark part of her was far from sexually unresponsive. Her problem was not physiological as she'd always believed. She was completely shocked to find that somewhere inside her there lurked an insatiable woman who wasn't even remotely afraid to take pleasure in all its shocking forms. A multi-orgasmic temptress with a lot of lost time to make up for.
On some level, she had hoped that the dream had somehow awakened her sexually. As an experiment, she had met up with Sam, an ex-boyfriend, a few weeks ago and had attempted to invoke that uninhibited side of her personality. They had broken up two years earlier mostly due to her disinterest in sex. Now that she was willing to put in some real effort he had been delighted at the opportunity to demonstrate his prowess once again.
Needless to say, it had been a disaster. Not only was she unable to achieve orgasm, she was completely unmoved by him and his unrelenting attempts to awaken her body to pleasure. Evidently, Holly's sexy doppelganger only seemed to take hold when she was asleep.
It wasn't even his fault. Sam wasn't a brute who used women's bodies without thought to their enjoyment. He prided himself on being a tender, patient and selfless lover. She couldn't even complain about him physically. A competitive cyclist, his body was sinewy and toned to perfection. Even better, he genuinely cared about her and made it very clear that he wanted more from her than just a trophy orgasm to prove that he was a real man. He wanted her to experience pleasure and he wanted to be the one to give it to her.
After 45 minutes of erotic massage, followed by another 20 minutes with Sam's face buried between her thighs, Holly had put a stop to his enthusiastic ministrations. He and his raging hard-on had left without a backward glance. So much for her theory regarding the dream being the catalyst for her sexual awakening.
Evidently, Sam's civilized approach to sex hadn't been what she needed. In the dream the foreplay had been extensive but the sex itself had bordered on primitive. On some level, she feared that animalistic element was what was missing from her previous sexual encounters.
She wished she'd never discovered this about herself. It was unnerving to find out that she wasn't who she thought she was. In her mind, she was a simple person. Kind, funny, and maybe a tad prudish. But apparently there was another side to her that she'd never suspected. Never wanted. And it was all the fault of that horrible man. If he hadn't invaded her home and her mind, she would have been content to live her average life with a dormant libido. Instead, here she was, at a fantasy fulfillment agency, arguing with this woman about what she needed from her male prostitute.
"Miss Bright, I appreciate your concern for my psyche." Holly's tone was sincere but impatient. "I really do, but I assure you I am not trying to punish myself. I just think the extra bells and whistles would be wasted on me. All I need is a man to sneak into my home and have his wicked way with me. No extra players. No movie props. No contortionist positions. Just a man. Now, is this possible? Or am I wasting my time here?"