"Be sure to fasten your seat belt, papasan," said the ticket taker. "Wouldn't want you falling out and drowning."
"I will. I will," said Chiun. He stepped forward past the ticket taker and walked around the shallow moat. He got into a blue boat, carefully arranging his robes around him on the narrow seat, then quickly got out and walked toward a red boat. Heading toward the red boat at that moment was a five-year-old girl, her face smiling, long golden hair splashing about her face, short dress bobbing up behind her rump as she skipped. Chiun saw her coming and broke into a run.
They reached the red boat at the same time.
Each paused.
Chiun pointed toward the sky. "Look! Look!" he said in a voice of astonishment. "Look up there!"
The little girl followed Chiun's finger and looked up. As her head went up, Chiun darted by her, jumping into the red boat. When the girl looked down, he was already settled in the seat.
Her face wrinkled up, and she seemed about to cry.
"The blue boat is nicer," said Chiun.
"I want to ride in the red boat," she said.
"Go ride in the blue boat."
"But I want to ride in the red boat."
"So do I," said Chiun, "and I got here first. Be gone with you."
The little girl stamped her foot. "Get out of my boat."
Chiun folded his arms across his chest. "Try the blue boat," he said.
"No," she said.
"I will not force you to ride in the blue boat," said Chiun. "You may stand there forever if you wish."
"Get out of my boat," the little girl cried.
"Yeah, old-timer, get out of her boat," said the ticket taker.
Remo tapped the ticket taker on the shoulder. "You forgot already, pal," he said. "Remember what I said? No talk. Do yourself a favor. Butt out."
"I'm running this ride. He should get out of the red boat."
"You going to tell him that?"
"You bet your ass I am," said the ticket taker, standing up.
"Where do you want the remains sent?" asked Remo.
The ticket taker stomped off, and took a place alongside the little girl, looking down at Chiun.
"Get out of that boat."
"She can ride in the blue one," said Chiun. "And you can ride in the yellow one."
"She's riding in the red one."
Chiun turned sideways in the seat so he did not have to look at the man's face. "Start the ride," he said. "I'm tired of waiting."
"Not until you get out of there."
Chiun called, "Remo, make him start the ride."
Remo turned his back so no one would know he knew Chiun.
"You whites all stick together," grumbled Chiun.
"No snotty cracks either," said the ticket taker. "If you don't like this country, go back where you came from."
Chiun sighed and turned. "That is good advice. Why don't you follow it?"
"This is where I came from."
"No, it is not," said Chiun. "Does not your book say, 'From dust you came, to dust you go'?"
Remo heard that and turned in time to see Chiun rise up in his seat, his saffron robe swirling about him. Before Remo could move, the ticket taker was spread-eagled across the bow of the small fiberglass boat, his face under the water.
"Chiun, knock it off already," said Remo, moving toward the boat.
"That's right, take his side," said Chiun, still holding the flailing man's head under water.
"Let him go, Chiun," called Remo.
"No."
"Okay, that's it," said Remo. "No more rides." He turned his back.
"Wait, Remo. Wait. See. I let him go. See. He is all right. See. Tell him you're all right." Chiun slapped the man's face. "Stop your stupid choking, and tell him you are all right."
The ticket taker caught his breath and pulled back from Chiun in fright. He looked at Remo who shrugged an I-told-you-so shrug. "Better start the ride," he said.
The ticket taker went back to his chair and turned the knob to the on position. The engine chugged and the boat started. The five-year-old shouted in anger. Remo took a dollar bill from his pocket and handed it to her. "Here," he said. "Go buy yourself some ice cream, and you can have the red boat on the next ride."
The girl snatched the bill from Remo's hand and raced away. Chiun's boat floated gently past Remo. "I see you got rid of that sniveling little wretch," he said. "Good for you."
"Better make it a long ride," said Remo as he walked back past the ticket taker, to rejoin Joleen.
By the time Ferdinand De Chef Hunt reached the amusement park, he was sure the black car behind him was following him. So he carefully parked his car in a restaurant driveway a block from the carnival, darted into the side door of the restaurant, through the dining room, and out the door on the other side of the building.
He carefully made his way along the wooden and concrete piers for another half block until he was opposite the carnival. Glancing behind him, he saw no sign of his pursuers and walked casually across the street toward the park.
Now to find those two men, what were their names?… Remo and Chiun.
Chiun leaned over the wooden railing and carefully rolled a nickel off his fingertips. It arced forward, turning over-exactly one revolution, then landed absolutely flat on a platform slightly raised above the asphalt floor. The nickel stopped in the direct center of a small red circle, one of hundreds of red circles painted on a large piece of white linoleum. The circles were only slightly larger in diameter than a nickel. A player won a prize if his nickel landed fully on a red circle, and did not overlap into the white border.
"Another winner," called Chiun.
The concession operator looked skyward as if asking for mercy.
"This time I want the pink rabbit," said Chiun. Behind him stood Remo and Joleen, their arms filled with plush toys, small games, stuffed animals. Remo precariously dangled a goldfish bowl, complete with occupant, from the fingers of his right hand.
The operator took a small pink stuffed rabbit from a shelf in the rear of the booth and handed it to Chiun. "Okay, here you are. Now why not go someplace else?"
"Why not is because I want to play this game," said Chiun.
"Yeah, but you're wiping me out," said the operator. "You've won nineteen prizes in a row."
"Yes, and I'm going to win more."
"Not here, you're not," said the operator, his voice rising with his temper.
Chiun spoke over his shoulder. "Remo, talk to him. Threaten to report him to Mr. Disney."
"Why don't we leave?" said Remo.
"You don't want to see me win either," said Chiun. "You're jealous."
"Right. I'm jealous. All my life, I've wanted my own goldfish, three yellow rubber duckies, seven stuffed pussycats, a plastic checker game, and two armfuls of slum."
The operator looked up at Remo, recognizing "slum" as the in-carnival word for junk prizes.
He looked at Remo questioningly. Remo nodded and winked as if sharing a fraternity secret. The operator understood now. Remo was a hustler, preparing to pluck this old yellow pigeon. He nodded back imperceptibly.
"Sure, old man," the operator said. "Go right ahead."
"Watch this, Remo," said Chiun. "I will do it with my eyes closed." He screwed his eyes tightly shut. "Are you watching, Remo?"
"Yes, Little Father."
"Can you see me?"
"Yes. Your eyes are closed, not mine."
"Good. Now watch."
Chiun leaned forward over the railing, his eyes shut tightly. He flipped the nickel off the fingernail of his right thumb, high into the air, almost up to the canvas roof over the game. The nickel spun rapidly, flipping all the way up, flipping all the way down, made one final turn, and landed flat on its side, directly in the center of a red circle.
Chiun kept his eyes closed. "I can't look. I can't look. Did I win?"
Remo nodded toward the nickel. The concession operator put his toe on it and slid it off the red spot, half onto the white.