"Don't be. I'll survive." Only he knew how deeply he had allowed himself to fall in love with her, and how hard it was to give up all hope of having her for his wife.
Slowly he let her hand slip through his fingers. He came around and opened the car door for her and walked her to the porch. As he left her, his last words were, "Be careful, Honey. Don't trust that drifter too much."
Then he was gone.
Honey let herself into the dark house and leaned back against the front door. Her whole body sagged in relief. She had hurt a good man without meaning to, though she didn't regret refusing his proposal.
"You were gone long enough!"
The accusation coining out of the dark startled Honey and she nearly jumped out of her shoes.
"You scared me to death!" she hissed. "What are you doing sitting here in the dark?"
"Waiting for you."
As her eyes adjusted to the scant light, she saw that Jesse was no longer sitting. He had risen and was closing the distance between them. Escape seemed like a good idea and she started for the stairs. She didn't get two steps before he grasped her by the shoulders.
"You didn't bring him inside with you. Does that mean you've told him things are over between you?"
"That's none of your-"
Jesse shook her hard. "Answer me!"
Honey was more furious than she could remember being at any time since Cale's death. How dare this man confront her! How dare he demand answers that were none of his business! "Yes!" she hissed. "Yes! Is that what you wanted to hear?"
Jesse answered her by capturing her mouth with his. It was a savage kiss, a kiss of claiming. His hands slid around her and he spread his legs and pulled her into the cradle of his thighs. He wasn't gentle, but Honey responded to the urgency she felt in everything he did. Against all reason, she felt a spark of passion ignite, and she began to return his fervent kisses.
"Honey, Honey," he murmured against her lips. "I need you. I want you."
Honey was nearly insensate with the feelings he was creating with his mouth and hands. He made her feel like a woman with his desire, his need. She shoved at his shoulders and whispered, "Jesse, we can't. Jack is-"
"Jack's spending the night with friends," he reminded her.
He grinned at the stunned look on her face as she realized that her youthful chaperon was not going to come to her rescue this time.
Without giving her a chance to object, Jesse swept her into his arms in a masterful imitation of Rhett and Scarlett and headed upstairs.
"What do you think you're doing?" Honey demanded.
"Taking you to bed where you belong," Jesse said.
"We can't do this," Honey protested.
Jesse stopped halfway up the stairs. "Why not?"
There was a long pause while Honey debated whether to confront him with the accusations Adam had made. "Because… You'd never He to me, would you, Jesse?"
It was dark so she couldn't see his face, but being held in his arms the way she was, she felt the sudden tension in his body.
"I'd never do anything to hurt you, Honey."
"That isn't exactly the same thing, is it?"
There was enough light to see his smile appear. "That's one of the things I like about you, Honey. You don't pull any punches."
"I think you'd better put me down, Jesse," she said.
Slowly he released her legs so her body slid down across his. She was grateful for the way he held on to her, because her feet weren't quite steady under her. Her nipples puckered as he slowly rubbed their bodies together.
"You want me, Honey," he said in his rusty-gate voice.
' 'It would be hard to deny it without sounding like a fool," she said acerbically.
His mouth found the juncture between her neck and shoulder and blessed it with tantalizing kisses. Honey gripped his arms to keep from falling down the stairs as his mouth sought out the tender skin at her throat and followed it up to her ear. Her head fell back of its own volition, offering him better access. Her whole body quivered at the sensations he was evoking with mouth and teeth and tongue.
A hoarse, guttural sound forced its way past Honey's lips. "Jesse, please."
"What, Honey? What do you want?"
Honey groaned again, and it was as much a sound of pleasure as of despair. "You," she admitted in a harsh voice. "I want you."
Jesse lifted her into his arms and carried her the rest of the way upstairs.
Seven
Honey felt the heat of the man beside her and reached out to caress the muscular strength of a body she now knew as well as her own. When Jesse stirred, Honey withdrew her hand. She didn't want to awaken him. Last night had been magical. She didn't wish to rouse from the night's dream and face the reality of day.
Jesse looked younger in the soft dawn light, though still something of a rogue with the stubble of dark beard that shadowed his face. She rubbed her cheek against the pillow, noticing that her skin was tender where his beard had rubbed again-and again. As were her breasts, she realized with chagrin.
He hadn't been gentle, but then, neither had she. Their lovemaking had blazed with the feelings of desperation that had followed them upstairs to the bedroom.
Honey understood her own reasons for feeling that she had to reach for whatever memories she could make with Jesse before he was gone. She had no idea why Jesse had seemed equally desperate. Had he already made up his mind to leave her? Did he already know the day when their brief interlude would come to an end?
She touched her lower lip, which was tender from the kissing they had done, the love bites he had given her. She must have bitten him, as well. There was a purplish bruise on Jesse's neck, put there in a moment of passion, she supposed. She didn't remember doing it, and she was embarrassed to think what he was going to say when he saw it. She hadn't left such a mark on a man since she'd been a teenager, playing games with Cale.
Honey winced. She hadn't thought of Cale once last night. Jesse hadn't left room for thought. He had spread her legs and thrust inside her, claiming her like some warrior with the spoils of battle. And what had she done? She had allowed it. No, that wasn't precisely true. She had reveled in his domination of her. She had opened herself to Jesse and allowed him liberties that Cale had never enjoyed.
And she wasn't even sorry.
Honey had never needed a man so much, or felt so much with a man. She didn't understand it. What made Jesse so different from Adam? Why couldn't she have chosen a man who would give her the security she needed in her life? Why did she have to love-
Honey stopped her thoughts in midstream, appalled by the word that had come to mind. Love. Was that why the lovemaking had been so thrilling? Was she in love with Jesse White-law?
It was unfair to be forced to evaluate her feelings when she was staring at the object of her desire. Because she loved the way Jesse's raven-black hair fell across his brow. She loved the way his dark lashes feathered onto bronze cheeks. She loved his mouth, with the narrow upper lip and the full lower one, that had brought her so much pleasure.
She loved the weight of his body on hers when they were caressing each other. She loved the feel of his skin, soft to the touch, and yet hard with corded muscle. She loved the way his flesh heated hers as his callused fingertips sought out her breasts and slid down her belly to the cleft between her thighs.
She loved the feel of their two bodies when they were joined together as a man and woman were meant to be. She loved his patience as he brought her to fulfillment. She loved the lazy-lidded satisfaction in his eyes when she cried out her pleasure. And she loved the agonized pleasure on his face as he followed her to the pinnacle of desire they had sought together.
Honey refused to contemplate the other facets of Jesse's character that appealed to her. They were many and varied. It was painful enough to know that she loved him this way. Because where there was love, there was hope. And Honey was afraid to hope that the drifter would be there in the days to come. She wasn't sure her memories would be enough when he was gone.