"You never should have touched me."
"I know," he said.
"You should have left me completely alone."
"I know," he said.
"Why didn't you?"
"Because I couldn't. I didn't know I would find the other half of myself here, now, under these circumstances."
Honey swallowed over the lump that had suddenly risen in her throat. She closed her eyes to shut out the tenderness in his dark-eyed gaze.
"I love you, Honey."
When her eyes opened they revealed an agony she hadn't ever wanted to feel again, "Don't! Don't say things you don't mean!"
"I've never meant anything more in my life."
"Well, I don't love you!" she retorted.
"Who's lying now, Honey?"
"This can never work, Jesse. Even if you could settle down, and I'm not sure you can, you're a Texas Ranger."
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"I don't want to spend my life worrying about whether you're going to come home to me at the end of the day. I had no choice with Cale. But I have one now. And I choose not to live my life like that."
"I can't-won't-change my life for you," Jesse said, disturbed by the narrow lines she was drawing.
"I'm not asking you to," Honey said.
"Where does that leave us?"
"You've got a job to finish. I assume you're going to meet with the rustlers and exchange General for a great deal of money?"
He grinned crookedly. "That was the plan."
"Then I suggest you go to work."
Jesse sobered for a moment. "Things aren't over between us."
She didn't argue with him. There was no sense in it. As soon as his job was done he would be leaving. She felt the pain of loss already. Even if he had been the drifter he first professed to be, he would have been moving on sooner or later. She had always known Jesse wouldn't be hanging around. Only now his leaving had a certainty that allowed her to begin accepting-and grieving-his loss.
She searched his features, absorbing them, cataloguing them so she would remember them. Her eyes skipped to the body she had adored last night, and she noticed a huge red welt on his right shoulder that had previously been hidden by the pillow.
"Oh, my God, Jesse. Look what I've done to you!"
Jesse gasped as she reached out and touched the spot where the horsewhip had cut into his flesh.
She pushed at his chest. "Let me up, Jesse. I need to get some salve for that before it gets any worse than it is."
Honey didn't know what she would have done if he hadn't let her up just then. She was feeling so many things-remorse and embarrassment and love. And the love seemed to be winning out. She didn't want to care for this man. It would only hurt worse when he left.
Jesse took advantage of the time Honey was out of the room to put on his pants and boots. When she came back he was sitting on the edge of the bed shirtless, waiting for her.
Honey laid the things she had brought back with her on the end table beside the bed, then sat down beside Jesse to minister to the wound.
He hissed in a breath of air when she began dabbing at the raw flesh with warm water. "I know this must hurt," she soothed.
As she worked, Jesse wasn't nearly so aware of the pain as he was of the care she was taking of him. It had been years and years since there had been a woman in his life to care for him. His mother had died when his sister, Tate, was born, leaving Tate to be raised by a father and three older brothers. He had been how old? No more than eleven or twelve.
He luxuriated in the concern Honey showed with every gesture, every touch. She cared for him. He felt sure of it. Even though she denied him in words, her gentleness, her obvious distress over his injury, gave her away. He meant to have her-despite the reservations she had voiced.
It had never occurred to him that she would demand that he leave the Rangers. He relished the danger and excitement of the job. There must be a way he could have Honey and the Texas Rangers, too. He would just have to find it.
"When are you going to meet with the rustlers?" Honey asked.
"Sometime tonight."
Honey bit her lip to keep from begging him not to go. She had learned her lessons with Cale. Her pleas would be useless. Instead she said, "Promise me you'll be careful."
He took her hand from his shoulder and held it between both of his. "Don't worry about me, Honey." He flashed her a grin. "I've been doing this a long time. I know how to take care of myself. Besides, I'm not about to get myself killed when I've got you to come back to."
"Jesse…"
He reached up and caught her chin in his fingertips, drawing her lips toward his. "Honey…"
Warm. Wet. Tender. His mouth seduced her to his will. His hand curled around her nape and slid up into her hair. Suddenly she was sitting in his lap, her hands circling his neck, and his mouth was nuzzling her throat.
"I can't get enough of you," he murmured. "Come back to bed with me, Honey."
She was tempted. Lord how she was tempted!
"Forget about General. Forget about the Texas Rangers. Don't think about-"
Honey tore herself from his grasp and stood facing him. Her breasts ached. Desire spiraled in her belly. It was hard to catch her breath. But catch it she did long enough to say, "No, Jesse. This has to stop. Right now. You can stay here long enough to finish your business. Until then…just leave me alone."
Jesse was equally aroused and frustrated by the interruption of their lovemaking. "You're being foolish, Honey."
"So now I'm a fool on top of everything else," she retorted. "You're making it very easy to get you out of my life, Jesse."
He thrust a hand through his hair, making it stand on end. "That came out wrong," he admitted. "You know what I mean."
He rose and paced the floor like a caged wolf. "We're meant to be together. I feel it here." He pounded his chest around the region of his heart. "You're only fighting against the inevitable. We will spend our lives together."
"Until you get shot?" she retorted. "Until I bury you like I buried Cale? No, Jesse. We aren't going to be together. I need someone I can rely on to be around for the long haul. You aren't that man."
"That remains to be seen," he said through clenched teeth.
Jesse wasn't prepared for the tears that gathered in Honey's eyes. He watched her brink hard, valiantly fighting them. It was clearly a losing battle, and they spilled from the corners of her eyes.
"It's over, Jesse. I mean it." She dashed at the tears with the back of her hand. "I won't cry for you.''
He watched her eyes begin to blaze with anger as she battled against the strong emotions that gripped her-and won. The tears stopped, and only the damp streaks on her face remained to show the pain she was suffering.
He felt her retreating from him even though she hadn't moved a step. "Don't go, Honey. I need you." He paused and added, "I love you."
"You lied to me. You used me. That's not the way people in love treat each other." She choked back the tears that threatened again and said, "You should have told me the truth. You should have trusted me. You should have given me the choice of knowing who you really are before I got involved with you. That's what I can't forgive, Jesse."
She turned and left the room, shoulders back, chin high, proud and unassailable. He had never wanted her more than he did in that moment, when he feared she was lost to him.
He sank down onto the bed and stared out through the lace-curtained window. He had to admit his excuse for keeping Honey in the dark about why he had come to the Flying Diamond had sounded feeble even to his ears. He could see why she was angry. He could see why she felt betrayed.
But there was no way he could have told her the real reason she hadn't been let in on his identity: every shred of evidence against the rustlers, every outlaw trail, led straight back to the Lazy S Ranch-and Adam Philips.