But in passing let me mention that if Kid Eggleston hadn’t screamed and fainted you might not be here now, reading this. You might be strip-mining glanic ore under a green sun at the far edge of the galaxy. You wouldn’t like that at all so remember that it was Hanley who saved—and is still saving—you from it. Don’t be too hard on him. If Three and Nine had taken the Kid things would be very different.
Three and Nine were from the planet Dar, which is the second (and only habitable) planet of the aforementioned green star at the far edge of the galaxy. Three and Nine were not, of course, their full names. Darians’ names are numbers and Three’s full name or number was 389,057,792,869,223. Or, at least, that would be its translation into the decimal system.
I’m sure you’ll forgive me for calling him Three as well as for calling his companion Nine and for having them so address each other. They themselves would not forgive me. One Darian always addresses another by his full number and any abbreviation is not only discourteous but insulting. However Darians live much longer than we. They can afford the time and I can’t.
At the moment when Hanley was shaking the Kid’s hand Three and Nine were still about a mile away in an upward direction. They weren’t in an airplane or even in a spaceship (and definitely not in a flying saucer. Sure I know what flying saucers are but ask me about them some other time. Right now I want to stick to the Darians). They were in a space-time cube.
I suppose I’ll have to explain that. The Darians had discovered—as we may someday discover—that Einstein was right. Matter cannot travel faster than the speed of light without turning into energy. And you wouldn’t want to turn into energy, would you? Neither did the Darians when they started their explorations throughout the galaxy.
So they worked it out that one can travel in effect faster than the speed of light if one travels through time simultaneously. Through the time-space continuum, that is, rather than through space itself. Their trip from Dar covered a distance of 163,000 light years.
But since they simultaneously traveled back into the past 1,630 centuries the elapsed time to them had been zero for the journey. On their return they had traveled 1,630 centuries into the future and arrived at their starting point in the space-time continuum. You see what I mean, I hope.
Anyway there was this cube, invisible to terrestrials, a mile over Philadelphia (and don’t ask me why they picked Philadelphia—I don’t know why anyone would pick Philadelphia for anything). It had been poised there for four days while Three and Nine had picked up and studied radio broadcasts until they were able to speak and understand the prevailing language.
Not, of course, anything at all about our civilization, such as it is, and our customs, such as they are. Can you imagine trying to picture the life of inhabitants of Earth by listening to a mixture of giveaway contests, soap operas, Charlie McCarthy and the Lone Ranger?
Not that they really cared what our civilization was as long as it wasn’t highly enough developed to be any threat to them—and they were pretty sure of that by the end of four days. You can’t blame them for getting that impression and anyway it was right.
«Shall we descend?» Three asked Nine.
«Yes,» Nine said to Three. Three curled himself around the controls.
«… sure and I saw you fight,» Hanley was saying. «And you were good, Kid. You must’ve had a bad manager or you’d have hit the top. You had the stuff. How about having a drink with me around the corner?»
«On you or on me, Hanley?»
«Well, at the moment I am a little broke, Kid. But I need a drink. For old times’ sake—»
«You need a drink like I need a hole in my head. You’re drunk now and you’d better sober up before you get the D. T.’s.»
«Got ’em now,» Hanley said. «Think nothing of ’em. Look, there they are coming up behind you.»
Illogically, Kid Eggleston turned and looked. He screamed and fainted. Three and Nine were approaching. Beyond them was the shadowy outline of a monstrous cube twenty feet to a side. The way it was there and yet wasn’t was a bit frightening. That must have been what scared the Kid.
There wasn’t anything frightening about Three and Nine. They were vermiform, about fifteen feet long (if stretched out) and about a foot thick in the middle, tapering at both ends. They were a pleasing light blue in color and had no visible sense organs so you couldn’t tell which end was which—and it didn’t really matter because both ends were exactly alike anyway.
And, although they were coming toward Hanley and the now recumbent Kid, there wasn’t even a front end or a back end. They were in the normal coiled position and floating.
«Hi, boys,» Hanley said. «You scared my friend, blast you. And he’d have bought me a drink after he lectured me for awhile. So you owe me one.»
«Reaction illogical,». Three said to Nine. «So was that of the other specimen. Shall we take both?»
«No. The other one, although larger, is obviously a weakling. And one specimen will be sufficient. Come.»
Hanley took a step backwards. «If you’re going to buy me a drink, okay. Otherwise I want to know, where?»
«Dar.»
«You mean we’re going from here to Dar? Lissen, Massah, Ah ain’t gwine noplace ’tall ’thout you-all buy me a drink.»
«Do you understand him?» Nine asked Three. Three wriggled an end negatively. «Shall we take him by force?»
«No need if he’ll come voluntarily. Will you enter the cube voluntarily, creature?»
«Is there a drink in it?»
«Yes. Enter, please.»
Hanley walked to the cube and entered it. Not that he believed it was really there, of course, but what did he have to lose? And when you had the D. T.’s it was best to humor them. The cube was solid, not at all amorphous or even transparent from the inside. Three coiled around the controls and delicately manipulated delicate mechanisms with both ends.
«We are in intraspace,» he told Nine. «I suggest we remain here until we have studied this specimen further and can give a report on whether he is suitable for our purposes.»
«Hey, boys, how about that drink?» Hanley was getting worried. His hands were beginning to shake and spiders were crawling up and down the length of his spine on the inside.
«He seems to be suffering,» Nine said. «Perhaps from hunger or thirst. What do these creatures drink? Hydrogen peroxide as we do?»
«Most of the surface of their planet seems to be covered with water in which sodium chloride is present. Shall we synthesize some?»
Hanley yelled, «No! Not even water without salt. I want a drink! Whiskey!»
«Shall I analyze his metabolism?» Three asked. «With the intrafluoroscope I can do it in a second.» He unwound himself from the controls and went to a strange machine. Lights flashed. Three said, «How strange. His metabolism depends on C2H5OH.»
«C2H5OH?»
«Yes, alcohol—at least, basically. With a certain dilution of H2O and without the sodium chloride present in their seas, as well as exceedingly minor quantities of other ingredients, it seems to be all that he has consumed for at least an extended period. There is .234% present in his blood stream and in his brain. His entire metabolism seems to be based on it.»
«Boys,» Hanley begged. «I’m dying for a drink. How’s about laying off the double-talk and giving me one.»
«Wait, please,» Nine said. «I shall make you what you require. Let me use the verniers on that intrafluoroscope and add the psychometer.» More lights flashed and Nine went into the corner of the cube which was a laboratory. Things happened there and he came back in less than a minute. He carried a beaker containing slightly less than two quarts of clear amber fluid.