“Come off it.”
“Well Christ Kendig, it has been a long time, and here we are both living in the same town. I mean it’s good for old friends to get together—we ought to do it more often, you know?”
Kendig said, “You had a tail on Yaskov today, didn’t you.”
Follett grinned unabashedly. “Sure. Why else would I be here?”
“All right. Get it off your chest. I haven’t got all night.”
“The hell you haven’t. What have you got, Kendig—a vital business meeting? A hard-breathing tryst? Don’t give me no bullfeathers. You haven’t got a Goddamned thing to do except go upstairs to your little ten-by-twelve room and stare at the walls. I’d think you’d welcome some company from an old officemate.”
Kendig just watched him. Follett made a face and dropped his voice several decibels. “All right. What was it about?”
“What was what about?” He didn’t want to give Follett the satisfaction.
An exasperated jerk of head, pinch of lips. “The meet with Yaskov, old buddy.”
“Ships and shoes and sealing wax.”
“Why are you making it so hard for me?”
“Maybe it amuses me.”
“Then why aren’t you smiling?” Follett flapped his palms. “Come on now. What did he want?”
“The same as you. He thought it would be pleasant if a couple of old friends got together and reminisced about the good old days.”
“I see.” Follett wasn’t buying it; he was just inviting added comment but Kendig didn’t make any and finally Follett said, “You’ll have to do a little better than that.”
“Why?”
“Because it won’t wash.”
“That’s not what I mean.”
“Then say what you mean, all right?”
“What I mean,” Kendig said, “why will I have to do better than that? Why do I have to tell you anything at all? I don’t work for you people any more.”
“Come on, Kendig, don’t force me to make threats.”
“This conversation’s getting tedious, wouldn’t you say?”
“We can make holy hell for you. Is that what you want?”
“I can’t see you bothering to do that. Not with me.”
“You’re not enjoying this. Just tell me what I want to know and I’ll go away.”
“You’ll go away anyway. Sooner or later.”
“You’re an exasperating son of a bitch.”
“I know.”
“Should I offer to buy it then?”
“No.”
“I didn’t think so. Then tell me this. What is it you want?”
“To be left alone.”
“Is that what you told Yaskov?”
“Maybe.”
“Everybody wants something. What do you want, Kendig?”
“I just told you.”
“Nuts.” Follett became still; he examined his hands. “You’re just about the most expendable human being on earth right now, I suppose you realize that. You’re no good to anybody, not even yourself; I don’t think there’s anybody in the whole world who’d ever miss you. Except maybe Mikhail Yaskov. What kind of deal did you make with him?”
“I didn’t make any deal with him, Glenn.”
“Then why not tell me what he wanted?”
“Because it’s your job to find that out. Not mine, any more.”
“What am I supposed to do? Ask Yaskov?”
“Why don’t you? It might be fun.”
Follett put his hands on his knees preparatory to rising. “It’s not smart to alienate your friends. You might need us some day.”
“I doubt that.”
“I’ll have to report back to Langley. They’ll have to decide what to do about you. If they think you’ve made some tie-up with the other side they’ll probably cut orders to have you terminated. Although I wouldn’t recommend it, frankly. I don’t think you’d be worth the trouble. You don’t matter any more, Kendig. You’re washed up.” With an expansive gesture of dismissal and disgust Follett lurched from the chair and plodded away. Kendig got up and watched him go out to the street. Then he went over to the lift and returned to his room.
He got into bed and lay half-dresed staring at the ceiling. Everybody wants something. What do you want, Kendig? You’re no good to anybody. You don’t matter any more. You’re washed up.
Something was taking shape: an elusive thought, an unfamiliar emotion.
After a long while he dozed. When he came awake he found he had his arms around one of the pillows. He put it back where it belonged and switched off the light.
They’d got some mileage out of him and thrown him out like a used car. Yaskov had come along and kicked his tires and made an offer but when Yaskov had tried the ignition the key wouldn’t turn. Then Follett had come along and loked at the dilapidated rusty hulk and sneered: All used up. Throw it on the junk heap.
He drowsed but something kept him from falling asleep. He kept shifting position; he had to wipe the sweat off his face with the hem of the sheet.
Everybody wants something. What do you want, Kendig?
My dear Miles, I’m offering to put you back in the game. Back into action. Isn’t it what you want?
Isn’t it what you want?
Unfamiliar sensations rubbed against him. He began to descend uneasily into sleep but that was when the anger burst its housing and grenaded into him.
He sat up, switched on the light, reached for his watch. It was three in the morning.
Why not rub their noses in it?
The idea was as fully shaped as Minerva from the brow of Jupiter. “Hell,” he said aloud. “Why not?”
They’d take it to be a suicidal gesture—they’d look at the record and they’d have to reach that conclusion. It would take them a long time to realize he wasn’t inviting suicide. He was challenging them to the ultimate game and he meant to win it.
He padded to the desk and began to write quickly on the hotel stationery—a crabbed scrawl that looked like something unreeling from a seismograph.
They’d set the hounds on him for this. They’d come after him with raging vengeance. They’d set fire to the world if they had to: they’d drop everything else in the frantic rush to nail him.
He felt the race of his pulse and heard a sound he had forgotten: his own laughter.
– 3 –
THE SECURITY MAN gave Leonard Ross a vague smile of recognition; all the same Ross had to run his card through the ID machine before it granted him the dubious asylum of the fourth floor.
As always Ross found it discomfiting. Myerson’s outer sanctum was as forbidding as a penitentiary: not the clean chill of sterile modernity but the grey austere drabness of nineteen-fiftyish technocracy, The chairs were tubular steel affairs with seats padded in Naugahyde and they looked civilized enough but there was no way to relax in them. Ross sat rigidly upright, buoyed a little by the fact that he was the only visitor waiting to see Myerson—perhaps he wouldn’t have to cool his heels too long.
The secretary opened the inner door. “Mr. Myerson will see you now.” The doctor will see you now—he went in as if to a dentist’s chair. The secretary preceded him, swinging smartly with a high-hipped stride; Ross hadn’t met her often enough to know her name although if she’d been ten years younger he’d have made a point of it. She rapped out a discreet code on Myerson’s door and pushed it open. Ross tried to march right in with some show of confidence but he wasn’t sure it was convincing. Myerson was in charge of his department but Myerson was also the Agency’s hatchet man. You were never quite sure that a summons to the fourth floor wasn’t going to be your last one.
Myerson was rummaging in a four-drawer cabinet built into the wall. “Sit down, Ross.”
The chairs had been arranged—two leather armchairs drawn up to make a triangle with the desk. So there was to be a third party to the meeting. Ross sat.