"Huh?" He frowned in confusion.
"All are synonymous?" she said.
"Truth. Justice. American way. God putting his foot down."
"You bet, honey." He smiled.
"Sol, don't call me that." She jabbed her finger the same way she did when making points while West was driving her around the city.
"Don't.
Not ever. "
He settled back in his leather chair and laughed, entertained by this lady. What a trip. Thank God she had a husband to set her straight and put her where she belonged. Cahoon was willing to bet that Hammer's man called her honey and she waited for it, apron tied in back, like Heidi, Gaboon's first and only wife. Saturday mornings, Heidi served him breakfast in bed, providing he was in town. She continued this even now, after so many faithful years, although the effect wasn't quite the same. What happened to the female body after it turned thirty? Men were ready and willing until death. They sat tall in the saddle, and were unaffected by gravity, and this was why it wasn't out of the question for the male to seek out younger females, eventually.
"You understand the definition of honey?" Hammer started in on this again.
"A food for larvae. To be flattering or obsequious. Cajolery.
What you say to get your socks darned and buttons sewn on. Christ, why did I come to this city? " She shook her head, not kidding.
"Atlanta wasn't much better," he reminded her.
"Certainly not Chicago, or it wouldn't have been for long."
"True, true."
"What about your press conference?" He moved on to more important matters.
"I passed along a very appropriate suggestion. And what?" He shrugged thin shoulders.
"Where's my press conference? Was it so much for me to ask? This building is a beacon bringing business to Charlotte-Mecklenburg. We need to disseminate positive information, such as our hundred and five percent clearance rate for all violent crimes last year…"
She interrupted him, because she couldn't let this pass.
"Sol, this is not financial smoke and mirrors. You cannot manipulate the bottom line on paper and in computers and get everyone to accept it. We're talking tangibles. Rapes, robberies, BEs, homicides, with real flesh and blood victims. You're asking me to convince citizens that we cleared more cases than we had last year?"
"Old cases were solved, that's why the numbers…" he started to repeat what he had been told.
Hammer was shaking her head, and Gaboon's infamous impatience was heating up. This lady was the only one who dared talk to him in this fashion, if he didn't include his wife and children.
"What old cases?" Hammer said.
"And going back how far? You know what this is like? It's like some one asking me how much I make as chief of police and I say a million dollars because I'm going back ten years."
"Apples and oranges."
"No, no, Sol." She was shaking her head more vigorously.
"No apples and oranges here. Oh no. This is fertilizer."
"Judy." He pointed a bent finger at her.
"What about the conventions that decide not to come here because of this…?"
"Oh for God's sake." She waved him off and stood.
"Conventions don't decide anything, people do, and I can't hear anymore of this. Just let me handle things, you mind? That's what I'm paid to do. And I'm not going to spread a lot of crap. You'll have to get someone else to do it." She started walking out of his office with its view.
"A hundred and five percent." She raised her hands in exasperation.
"And I'd watch out for your secretary, by the way."
"What does she have to do with this?" Cahoon was most confused, which was fairly normal after a visit with Hammer.
"I know the type," Hammer warned.
"How much does she want?"
"For what?" He was baffled.
"Trust me. She'll let you know," said Hammer, shaking her head.
"I wouldn't be alone with her or trust her. I'd get rid of her."
Mrs. Mullis-Mundi knew the meeting could not have gone well. Cahoon had not sent for water, coffee, tea, or cocktails. He had not summoned her on the intercom and asked her to show the chief out. Mrs. MullisMundi was conjuring up herself in her Chanel compact, checking her smile in the mirror, when Hammer suddenly was there. This was not a woman who bleached her teeth or waxed her legs. The chief tossed some sort of report in a file folder on the executive secretary's enameled Chinese desk.
"These are my stats, the real ones," Hammer said as she left.
"See to it he gets them when he's feeling open-minded."
School kids were getting the grand tour through the marble lobby when the chief's rapidly clicking heels carried her out. She glanced at her Breitling watch without really noting the time. Tonight was her twenty- sixth anniversary of being married to Seth. They were supposed to have a quiet evening at the Beef amp; Bottle, the rare steak, male hang-out that he loved and she tolerated. It was on South Boulevard, and it had been her experience whenever she had dined there that she generally represented her gender alone as she picked at her meat.
She began, as always, with baby frog legs sauteed in wine and garlic, and a Caesar salad. The din grew louder around them in this darkly paneled room, where city fathers and planners had met for decades, on their way to heart attacks. Seth, her husband, loved food better than life, and was fully engaged with shrimp cocktail, hearts of lettuce with famous blue cheese dressing, bread, butter, and a porterhouse for two that he typically did not share. Once upon a time Seth had been an enlightened and handsome assistant to the Little Rock city manager, and he had run into Sergeant Judy Hammer, on the capitol grounds.
There had never been any question about who was the engine driving the train in this relationship, and this was part of the attraction. Seth liked her power. She liked his liking it. They were married and began a family that quickly became his responsibility as the wife soared and was called out at night, and they moved. That Hammer was her name and not his made sense for those who knew them and gave the matter a thought. He was soft, with a weak chin that called to mind the watery-eyed knights and bishops of Washington portrait galleries.
"We should pick up some of this cheese spread for the house," Seth said, laying it on thick in candlelight.
"Seth, I worry about what you're doing to yourself," Hammer said, reaching for her pi not noir.
"I guess it's port wine, but it doesn't look like it," he went on.
"It might have horseradish in it. Maybe cayenne pepper."
His hobby was studying law and the stock market. His most significant setback in life was that he had inherited money from his family, and was not obligated to work, was gentle, and tended to be mild, nonviolent, and tired much of the time. At this stage in life, he was so much like a spineless, spiteful woman that his wife wondered how it was possible she should have ended up in a lesbian relationship with a man. Lord, when Seth slipped into one of his snits, as he was in this very minute, she understood domestic violence and felt there were cases when it was justified.
"Seth, it's our anniversary," she reminded him in a low voice.
"You haven't talked to me all evening. You've eaten everything in this goddamn restaurant, and won't look at me. You want to give me a clue as to what's wrong, for once? So I don't have to guess or read your mind or go to a psychic?"
Her stomach was balled up like a threatened opossum. Seth was the best diet she'd ever been on, and could throw her into anorexia quicker than anything. In rare, quiet moments, when Hammer walked alone on a beach or in the mountains, she knew she had not been in love with Seth for most of their marriage. But he was her weight-bearing wall. Were he knocked out, half her world would crash. That was his power over her, and he knew it like any good wife. The children, for example, might take his side. This was not possible, but Judy Hammer feared it.
"I'm not talking because I have nothing to say," Seth reasonably replied.
"Fine." She folded her cloth napkin, and dropped it on the table as she began searching for the waitress.