"Mom, you holding up?" Jude was in back of Hammer's personal car. He was rubbing her shoulders as she drove.
"I'm trying."
She swallowed hard as Randy looked at her with "Well, I don't want to see him," said Randy, cradling flowers he had bought for his father in the airport.
"That's understandable," Hammer said, switching lanes, eyes in the mirrors. It had begun to rain.
"How are my babies?"
"Great," Jude said.
"Benji's learning to play sax."
"I can't wait to hear it. What about Owen?"
"Not quite old enough for instruments, but she's my boogie baby. Every time she hears music, she dances with Spring," Jude went on, referring to the child's mother.
"God, Mom, you'll die when you see it. It's hilarious!"
Spring was the artist Jude had lived with in Greenwich Village for eight years. Neither of Hammer's sons was married. Each had two children, and Hammer adored every fine golden hair on their small lovely heads. It was her bleeding, buried fear that they were growing up in distant cities with only infrequent contact with their rather legendary grandmother. Hammer did not want to be someone they might someday talk about but had never known.
"Smith and Fen wanted to come," said Randy, taking his mother's hand.
"It's gonna be all right. Mom." He felt another stab of hate for his father.
West didn't know what to do with her prisoner of the evening. Brazil was slumped down in the seat, arms crossed, his posture defiant and decidedly without remorse. He refused to look at her now, but stared out the windshield at bugs and bats swirling beneath lights. He watched truckers in pointed cowboy boots and jeans strolling out to their mighty steeds, and leaning against cabs, propping a foot on the running board, hands cupped around a cigarette, as they lit up like the Marlboro Man.
"You got your cigarettes?" Brazil asked West. She looked at him as if he had lost his mind.
"Forget it.
"I want one."
"Yeah, right. You've never smoked in your life, and I'm not going to be the reason you start," she said, and she wanted one, too.
"You couldn't possibly know whether I've ever smoked a cigarette or pot or anything else," he said in the strange tone of intoxication.
"Ha! You think you know so much. You don't know shit. Cops. And their dark, narrow alleyways for minds."
"Really? I thought you were a cop. Or have you quit that, too?"
He stared miserably out his side window.
West felt sorry for him, mad as she was. She wished she knew what was wrong, exactly.
"What the hell's gotten into you?" She tried another tactic, poking Brazil, this time not playfully.
He did not respond.
"Trying to ruin your life? What if some other cop spotted you first?"
She was no-nonsense.
"Got any idea how much trouble you'd be in?"
"I don't care," he said, and his voice caught.
"Yes, you do, goddamn it! Look at me!"
Brazil stared out, his eyes swimming as he dully watched bleary images of people in and out of the truck stop, men and women whose lives were different from his, and who would not understand what it was like to be him. They would look at all that he was and despise him for being privileged and spoiled, because they could not comprehend his reality.
Bubba felt precisely this, and just so happened to be parking his King Cab at the pumps. He spotted the BMW first, then the cop car with the enemy in it. Bubba could not believe his good fortune. He went in for Pabst Blue Ribbon and Red Man, and picked up the latest Playboy.
Brazil was struggling to control himself, and West could be hard but so long. She cared about him in a way that fit no easy definition, and this was partly why he unsettled and confused her so much. She enjoyed him as a talented, precocious recruit, someone she could mentor and get a kick out of watching as he learned. She did not have a brother and would have liked one exactly like him, someone young, smart, sensitive and kind. He was a friend, although she did not give him much of a chance. He was a pretty incredible-looking guy and didn't seem to notice.
"Andy," she quietly said, 'please tell me what happened. "
"Somehow he got in my computer basket, my files. Everything over the news channels before the paper came out. Scooped." His voice trembled, and he did not want West to see him like this.
West was stunned.
"He?" she asked.
"Who's he?"
"Webb." He could barely bring himself to say that name.
"Same piece of shit screwing your deputy chief!"
"What?" Now West was truly lost.
"Goode," he said.
"Everybody knows."
"I didn't." West wondered how she could have missed intelligence like that.
Brazil's heart was broken forever. West wasn't quite sure what to do as she mopped her face again.
Bubba stealthily made his way back to his truck, his thick face with its misshapen nose averted and shadowed by an Exxon baseball cap.
Climbing up into his cab with his purchases, he sat watching the cop car out his windshield. For a while, he nipped through his magazine, pausing at the really big stories. There were many of them, and he tried not to think about his wife or make comparisons as he calculated the best method of attack.
He had packed light tonight, just a Colt. 380 caliber seven-shot pistol in an ankle holster, which would not have been his first choice had he known he might have a standoff with the cops. It was a good thing he had aback up between the seats, a Quality Parts Shorty E-2 Carbine,223 caliber, with thirty-shot magazine, adjustable sights, chrome-lined barrel finished in manganese phosphate that didn't shine at night. For all practical purposes, this was an M-16, and with it, Bubba could riddle West's car Bonnie and Clyde style. He turned a page, and massaged more big ideas as he enjoyed the dark.
Vy West had never really been called upon to comfort a member of the male gender. Rarely was such a thing needed or requested, and having no precedent to follow, she used common sense. Brazil was hiding his face in his hands. She felt terribly sorry for him. What an unfortunate state of affairs.
"It's not that bad, really," she kept saying.
"Okay?" She patted his shoulder.
"We'll find a way out of this. Okay?"
She patted him again, and when this did not make a dent, she finally broke down.
"Come here," she said.
West put an arm around him, and pulled him close. Suddenly, he was in her lap, his arms clamped around her, as he held her like a child, which he was not. West's hot flashes seemed worse as she thought fast and hormones spiked. He nuzzled her, holding tight, and her insides woke up, startling her. Brazil was suffering from a similar response, and moved up her body, to her neck, until he found her mouth. For moments, at least, they were completely out of control and out of orbit. Their traumatized brains went into shock, allowing other instincts to have their way, for Mother Nature worked in this fashion to trick couples into procreating.
West and Brazil had not gotten to the point of worrying about what sort of birth control was best suited to their anatomies, needs, tastes, belief systems, personal choices, fantasies, secret pleasures, or faith in consumer reports. This way of communicating with each other was new, so they took the time to linger in places they had always wondered about. Then reality asserted itself with alacrity, and West suddenly sat up and looked out the windows of her police car, remembering she was on duty with a man in her lap.
"Andy," she said.
He was busy.
"Andy," she tried again.
"Andy, get up. You're on my… gun."
She tried to move him, with no energy or enthusiasm, not wanting him to go anywhere ever again. Hell was here and she was finished.
"Sit up," she said, wiping her face again. Her life was ruined.
"This is incest, pedophilia," she muttered, taking a deep breath as he went on with what he was doing.