"And I was the baby who never had to grow up," he said. "My sisters catered to me and mothered me. And I've been lucky in that everything I've wanted has come pretty easily."
She immediately waved away his point. "You're known for your work ethic so I wouldn't say things came easily," she chided.
"I'm not saying I didn't work hard at my career but I had more lucky breaks than most." He shook his head and laughed, a self-deprecating sound that told Micki he'd given her original question way more previous thought than she'd given him credit for. "When everything goes your way, you get spoiled. I got spoiled. Hell, I am spoiled. I'm also petrified of losing everything I have," he admitted.
"So…"
"I work overtime to maintain the image, including the perception of the partying guy with no injuries and no weaknesses."
"And you think if you let yourself get involved with anyone who means something to you, you'll lose the one thing that means everything to you. Your career."
"I'm amazed you get it," he said, his tone filled with surprise and an almost reluctant admiration.
She glanced down at the sidewalk, scuffing the bottom of her shoes against the pavement. "I guess that's what comes from my spending a lifetime hanging around with professional jocks. I understand the world you deal in."
"We do have that world in common " he said gruffly.
Emotion emanated from him and shook her up inside because, although tonight had been about business, she somehow felt closer to him than she had before. Given the circumstances, closer unnerved her.
“But as much as I stand by my choices to keep my career going, I was a damn idiot to get involved with a woman like Carole. She was a meaningless fling and now I may be tied to her for the rest of my life."
"Payback's a bitch," Micki said, forcing a chuckle.
But the pain in her heart wasn't at all amusing. Because, as he'd spoken, she'd realized that their time on the island was probably also a meaningless fling.
Suddenly he reached up and stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. "You and I weren't the same as me and Carole" he said, reading her mind.
"I didn't think I was."
He shook his head. "Yeah, you did. And I can't say I gave you any reason to believe otherwise."
She forced a smile. "Not to worry, I know where we stand"
"No, I don't think you do." He stared at her, his gaze compelling and enigmatic all at the same time. "Let me walk you inside?"
She shook her head. "I'm fine."
She watched the struggle inside him until finally he stepped back. "Okay then. I'll meet you outside the doctor's office tomorrow?”
She blinked, surprised. "The paternity test consultation? You don't need PR help for that."
"You're right. I don't. But I do need you by my side for moral support."
Micki groaned. "Damian…"
"Please." He met her gaze, his eyes imploring and his tone holding a desperate quality she couldn't resist
"Sure." She heard herself agreeing, her stomach in knots over involving herself in something so personal.
He exhaled hard, obviously relieved. "Thank you. Again.”
She forced a smile. She certainly couldn't say it was her pleasure.
"Sleep tight," he said in a husky voice.
She forced a smile. "You, too."
Later that night, alone in her bed, she didn't have to wonder why she felt so empty and alone.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
MICKI HAD A LONG DAY AHEAD of her and no time to come home in between meetings, work and the dinner party for Uncle Yank's birthday. With no alternative, she took the dress she'd bought for the occasion, zipped it into a garment bag and took it with her to work so she could change there. She arrived at the office by 7:00 a.m. to reschedule some appointments and leave a few notes for Amy before heading over to the doctor's office on Park Avenue to meet Damian.
She had knots in her stomach over the idea of discussing paternity tests and Damian's sexual relationship with another woman. She understood his need to have someone there for support, but after thinking things over and over last night, she'd decided she wasn't the right person for the job.
She turned the corner and found Damian already standing outside the door, leaning against a black iron handrail. In his jeans and light blue Polo collared shirt, he was the sexiest man on Park Avenue. In fact, he was one of the only men on this part of Park Avenue so early in the morning, which was a good thing because she didn't think she could handle this conversation in front of an audience.
"Thanks for coming," he said, walking toward her.
She gathered her courage as she launched right into the speech she'd prepared last night. "I completely understand you needing moral support and I want to be there for you. I really do. But this is just too much. I don't belong here and I'm really not comfortable sitting down with a doctor discussing how long ago you impregnated another woman." She forced the words out in a rush or she knew she'd never say them at all.
She was as much as admitting she had feelings for the man and that really wasn't something she'd ever wanted him to know. Not when he was incapable of reciprocating. "So now that you know how I feel, I can get back to the office."
Micki turned and started down the street, searching for the nearest taxi as she ran. She still hadn't made peace with her high heels and she wobbled more than once, turning her ankle painfully and destroying any hope she had for a dignified exit.
"Micki!" Damian called after her.
Thank goodness a yellow cab with its lights on rounded the corner. She waved. The car came to a screeching halt. At the same time she reached for the door, Damian caught up with her. She opened the door but he held it, preventing her from getting in.
"Micki, please. I just want to talk to you," he said, breathing heavily.
She swallowed but her throat was tight. "When I agreed to help you out I didn't know how hard it would be," she admitted, her heart pounding in her chest, proving her words with each heavy beat.
"I didn't realize either," he said softly, his breath warm against her neck.
"Hey lady, you getting in or not?" the cabdriver asked impatiently.
Micki turned to Damian whose gaze was soft and understanding. "Just sit in the waiting room and as soon as I'm finished, we'll talk"
Her head throbbed, her ankle hurt and her heart ached like mad. "I must be insane," she said more to herself than to Damian. She glanced at the cabbie through the open passenger's side window. "I'm sorry to have taken your time," she told him and slammed the door shut instead of getting inside.
"Thank you." Damian grabbed her hand and held on tight. "I already told you I can act like a spoiled son of a bitch sometimes." His lips turned upward in an embarrassed grin but his relief at having stopped her exit was palpable.
"Yeah, you did." But for some reason she was still standing by his side.
An hour later, he walked out of the doctor's office and insisted they grab a cup of coffee. She'd already touched base with Amy at the office and knew her 11:00 a.m. appointment had canceled, freeing up her time, so she agreed.
They settled into seats at Sara Beth's Kitchen and quickly placed their orders. Micki was grateful for the fresh, hot coffee but she wasn't much interested in her Danish.
Damian guzzled his caffeine, needing the fortification desperately. When he was finished, he placed his mug aside and met her gaze from across the small table. For several moments, he simply stared at her, unsure of what to say or where to begin.
He only knew he owed her an apology. Silence surrounded them and though it was morning-rush time, the restaurant was atypically quiet for a weekday. He'd brought her here because they had a lot to discuss and he didn't want to do it over the phone. Until she'd nearly bolted on him this morning, he hadn't realized how much he counted on her comforting presence and solid support.