"What the fuck are you, a shrink? I've never once considered the end of my career and I never thought about having kids,"
"Not consciously but what about unconsciously?" Carter asked.
"You mean subconsciously."
The kid shrugged. "That, too."
Damian wiped a hand over his face and groaned. "I need air."
"What'd she say about you not being the father?" Carter asked, ignoring him.
"Who?"
Carter drew a deep breath and looked at Damian warily. "The hot little publicist, that's who"
Damian shot to his feet and pulled Carter up by his shirt at the same time. "You talk about her like that again and you're a dead man.”
Carter held his hands up in front of him. "You said you wouldn't hit me."
"I changed my mind."
He shook his head. "Whoa, man. Who'd have thought a stab in the dark would pay off? Look, Captain, anyone with eyes can see she means something to you. Except maybe you." This time Carter actually ducked and headed for the door.
"Good reflexes," Damian called out to him, laughing despite himself.
"Youth," Carter called back from the doorway of the bar. "No offense."
"None taken."
If only Damian could dismiss the rookie's pop psychology as easily.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Damian's life was a mess. He needed fatherly advice and for the first time, he couldn't go to his own dad because his whole family was so thrilled about the baby being Carter's, they couldn't see past it to the deeper issues driving Damian insane. There was only one man Damian could trust with his emotions and that was the same man he'd entrusted with his career right from the beginning.
He strode into the rehab facility, an expensive establishment that Damian felt certain Yank must hate. The older man would despise feeling useless, needing help getting around, relying on other people. Man, Damian could relate.
At a large window, he asked where to find Yank Morgan's room and followed the instructions until he walked off the elevator on Yank's floor, then followed the arrows to his room. As usual, when it came to Yank, Damian was surprised by what greeted him there.
A yellow warning ribbon, reminiscent of police tape,had been wrapped across his door, blocking the entrance. A large sign had been taped to the door, which read Enter at Your Own Risk, Nasty PITA Inside.
Damian howled with laughter at the blatant description of Yank as a Pain In The Ass.
"Who's out there?" Yank called from inside his room.
Damian ducked beneath the tape and joined Yank by the chair in which he sat "What'd you do to piss off the nurses?" Damian asked, still chuckling. "Hell, don't you know if you're sweet to these ladies they'll be sneaking you extra dessert?" He pulled up a seat, straddling it backward as he made himself comfortable.
"It's not their attention I want" Yank muttered.
Damian nodded in understanding. So Lola had bailed on him. "Why don't you just ask her to come see you?"
Yank shot him a scowl and pulled the blanket covering his legs up higher over his Burberry pajamas. Obviously his nieces had been spoiling him even if the nurses here hadn't been.
"She wants me to grovel. I love you, Lola. I'm sorry, Lola," Yank said in a pretty damn good imitation of the woman.
Damian did his best not to laugh. "I don't see your pride taking good care of you right now, so why not go ahead and do what she wants? At least then you'll both be happy."
"For how long? How happy is she gonna be cutting my food when I can't see?"
Damian exhaled aloud. He understood now how frustrated Micki, Sophie and Annabelle must feel around the older man. "Why don't you let her make that decision?" Even as he asked, Damian knew the answer. "You're afraid after all these years, she'll turn you down. That's it, isn't it?"
Damian found himself staring into blue eyes similar to Micki's. Yank gave him a quick nod, then averted his gaze, obviously embarrassed.
"You can't end up any worse off man you are now, right?"
He waved a dismissive hand. "I'm tired of talking about me. What's going on with you?"
Damian knew that was the end of discussing Yank's personal life. He'd come here for fatherly advice and now was the time to spill. He glanced down at the floor, unsure of where to begin. "Since the time I was a kid, my whole life has centered around baseball. I've seen the end coming for a while now but I refused to admit it. I ignored all the signs. But rehab's not working, cortisone shots aren't helping the hand, and the team doesn't need me hanging on for selfish reasons when they could use another player on the roster."
Yank placed a hand on Damian's shoulder. "So what are you sayin'?"
"I met with Coach and told him I think I'm through. The doctors can't promise a return this season." The words were as painful now as they had been a few days ago.
“I’m proud of you for makin' the decision. If you're ready, I'll get working on the details of retirement and the contract issues."
Damian nodded. "What about the endorsements I already do?"
"I'll take care of everything. Don't you worry, okay?'
"Yeah. Thanks." He glanced up. "What the hell am I going to do now?"
Yank gestured around the room. "Come join me for a daily card game?"
"No thanks," Damian said wryly.
"You do realize we're alike, you and I."
Damian cocked his head to one side. "Other than a bum body that doesn't want to do what we tell it to do, how so?"
"Have you spoken to Micki lately?"
Damian's nerve endings went on instant alert "She's not taking my calls at the moment. Since issuing that press release, she's declared our business relationship over and reassigned me. Apparently Annabelle's working part-time now and technically she's more familiar with the workings of the Renegades," he said, quoting Micki's secretary who'd been quoting her boss.
She'd handed him over to her sister like yesterday's news and if he thought ending his active career was painful, Micki's withdrawal hurt just as badly.
Yank glanced at him, tapping a finger against his bearded cheek. "My Micki did that?"
"She did,"
"What'd you do?" Yank asked, suddenly angry and defensive.
Damian held up both hands. "I didn't do a damn thing. She just suddenly decided to treat me like dirt."
"Same thing Lola did to me. I told you we were alike."
His head hurt trying to keep up with Yank's way of thinking. "I'm lost."
"Okay let me spell it out for you. I lost Lola because first I was scared and then I was a jackass and now it's too late. Are you gonna risk losing the woman you love the same way I did?" Yank asked.
Love, Damian thought, dazed. "Is that what this is all about?" he asked, but even as he wondered aloud, he knew.
He loved Micki.
Even Carter had tried to tell him.
Suddenly all the recent disappointment and confusion made sense. The parties and women that had once defined his life no longer held appeal and when Micki had suggested he return to his old ways, he'd been repelled by the notion. Because he'd rather be with her.
"Looks to me like you didn't recognize a good thing when it was starin' you in the face " Yank said.
"Just like you."
Yank nodded. "So are you gonna wait till you can no longer see her looking back at you?"
Damian shivered at Yank's words. The thought of a life without Micki in it at all wasn't one he wanted to contemplate. Bad enough he was losing baseball. He refused to lose her, too.
He glanced at the older man he'd always admired. “Tell you what. I'll go after Micki if you swallow your damn pride and tell Lola what she wants to hear. It's not like you don't have the feelings for her, so get over yourself and let her know," Damian taunted. He had no choice but to push and prod his agent or else they could both lose.
"You're telling me my niece's happiness depends on whether I'm finally willing to pony up with Lola?"