Выбрать главу

They could never understand

it, the way I loved that

Oh, the song, must make

some effort

she must

see me singing

of life continue strong

Throughout old age, however long

If only we can cheerful

stay, And every day.

not what we’ll

What matters most that we’re free

joys of life continue strong

Throughout old age, however long.

Important to do

stay alive

No matter if future’s

knows best, and brings good cheer AAA!

the pain shoots again

again!

Work, no, that

will mean moving. No matter how still I try to

keep my arse, if my hands are moving then it

gives me gyp, aaaa, there.

Careful?

How can you be careful with her scrappy bits

of paper when your arse is giving you gyp all

the time? You can’t keep your mind

on anything, can you?

Just a smear

along one edge, sounds

easy, but she doesn’t take

into account my fingers

aren’t what they used to

be, with this arthritis

liable to finish them off

altogether if — Yes, I don’t care.

That woman’s

language! They are the gentle sex, they say.

Some of them.

Oh. I’ll

try to work, then, it may take my mind off of

it, my arse, though I doubt it, I doubt it very

much.

The red paper, this isn’t the

roller I had yesterday, mine was newer than this,

this is grubby. That slimy old

woman must have been using it, getting her

filthy spittle all over it! Ugh!

But don’t complain, never

complain about such a

small thing. Never com-

plain about the small

things. Get on with it.

aaaaaaaaaah, the pain shoots, shoots!

I can’t Ivy, it’s my arse. I’m in constant pain

from it. There’s no words to describe it.

Whether I work or not I still get it, nothing I

can do makes it any the easier.

Nothing to lose.

You’re right, Ivy, I’ve nothing to lose, nothing.

The best one? Can’t think what state the others

must be in, then. Have a look.

Yes, the others look pretty lousy, all glued up

and bristles coming out and dirty. For small

mercies.

I’ll just finish this one on my own.

There’s no satisfaction

in it, in any of it, now.

Off we go.

Sloppity glue.

In the mind, mind the

pain shooting up my! Went to the doctor. Piles,

he said at once. No, I’ve had them, not the same

this time. No, he said, doctors know best. Must

ask her if I can see the doctor sooner than Thurs-

day. Can’t wait till then. She’ll not like it,

she hates anyone making a fuss. I can’t do it!

I can’t wait, either, till Thursday.

Keep quiet about it, then.

Ivy understands about my problem, would make

someone a good wife, still, Ivy. Nothing to look

at, of course, she doesn’t even seem to have that

look of peace that some of the other women have.

Did she have a hard time of it?

There’s no telling.

Still hurts to glue, I still have to move even

ever so slightly. How can I think about anything

else, it’s constant, the pain, what else

is there to think about, it goes round and round

in circles, my mind, off it, on it, not very

often off it.

Luxury bed, downy pillows, none of your plastic-

filled articles. Out,

out, he said, and out he took it, left a gap

at the back of my mouth, felt like a bomb

crater, kept poking my tongue in it, all salty

blood, you can’t help it, can you?

Stray,

stray, stray.

And then you don’t know where you are. Still

don’t understand how he swindled me on that deal,

just know he definitely did swindle me. I paid

him three hundred for the whole consignment, and

somehow when I got it it was only a consignment

for which I would have paid one-eighty, if that,

two hundred at the most. His

name was Flannery or Chinnery or something like

that, a sharp one he was, he could swindle you

so’s you had no way of getting back at him, offices

he called it — Yes?

More careful still?

My hands, this arthritis, Ivy, I’m being as

careful as I can, really I am. Not very

interested, anyway, balls to it, nothing makes

the pain any better, don’t make one any better

concentrating on the other, aaaaaaaaah!

Yes, I know what she’s like when she’s crossed.

Yes, Ivy, I’ll try. Don’t want to cross House

Mother.

Then there was that

sneaky little sod who also had one of the railway

arches down there behind the Broadway, he could

drop you in the fertilizer too if you weren’t very

careful, though with him you could see it coming

and you could watch out for it. And never deal

with him unless you had to. The best way was to

play safe and sell before you had bought. Make

sure you had a sale before you paid for whatever

it was. Even then you could get caught sometimes,

find yourself aaaaaaaaah!

Not again, I could do with a better cushion than

this, she ought to provide an air cushion for

people in my condition, I’ve even seen people take

them on buses, if they were in this painful con-

dition, what can I do, only ask, and I’m afraid to

do that.

More glue

Mrs Bowen, can you pass me

your glue, please? This one’s finished.

Thanks very much, Mrs Bowen.

Yes, all right now.

There may be others

like me. I hope so. I hope

not, on the other hand. I

would not wish it on

them.

Finish,

finish now. Didn’t do much to take my mind

off of it. A little. A very little.

Still, it’s something. A little something.

She’s all right,

that Ivy. A good sort. Finish this last

one, nice and tidy.

Yes, here it is, Ivy. They’re nice and tidy

today, aren’t they, Ivy?

Try again. They’re better today, Ivy?

No proper answer,

Well, I think they’re better than yesterday’s.

And considering all the circumstances, too. Let

them complain. That’s it, until they complain

then I don’t care.

Ivy and that Mrs Ridge are always having a go

at each other. Stupid bastards, the pair of them.