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dot her one where she won’t like it at all, no.

Where no one likes it.

My true love’s hair was red, red as the dawn,

my one true love. His eyes were brown, he stood

four foot umpteen in his boots. My one two,

three four, who’s counting? Ha ha! I bumped

into him as I was sloshing the floor in the

Gents. He stumbled over my bucket and there we

were on the floor, at it among the Jeyes and

Lysol. He swept me off his feet. I was quite a

young thing then, stout with it, I enjoyed it,

who’d have thought it, in those days?

That Ron has sat down, so

shall I, twitcher or no twitcher, she must give

it him first, if she’s fair, the twitcher, he

sat down first, Ron.

We waved and waved as he went by, King George the

Sixth, they let us off dirty to wave from the

upper windows, it was so exciting, us girls, it

turned me over, truly it did, waiting for hours

we were in the hot sun, it was late December.

And the banners were out, we waved our union

jacks, and cheered and cheered. It was quite

good. That was at the time when I was afraid I

might become Queen myself one day — no

twitcher if she’s going to run a tourney, good.

What’s that? Your breakfast milk? Yes, I’ll bet

you, Ron. All I’ve

got that you’d want, Ron, is a quiet feel in the

toilet before bed.

Shake.

Two lots of breakfast milk for me, yes,

always too many cornflakes and not enough milk,

that’ll be nice, something real nice to look forward

to. There they go.

Silly old fool got himself hit.

And again! Won’t get me two lots. Never mind.

I’ll get a feel.

Three times! Ron certainly backed the right one.

You shall have it, Ron, never fear, you

shall have it. Wonder what he’ll feel? My

twat is favourite, or at least it used to be.

Or perhaps he wants me to hold his horrible.

Or bag of creepy skin? Anyway, it’ll

be short, Ron, I’ll promise you that.

No, shan’t listen! Bung

my ears up!

This big meat pie, so big

you could hardly get yourself round it. So big.

Three of us made it together, for the Club. In

those days they let you, and my friend Edie got

me together with all this lard and flour. It

must come soon. Bought lots and lots of meat,

very expensive. For the upper crust we had sea-

gulls, and this tower like the Eiffel Tower it

was in the middle. It held up the crust very

nicely with just a little point sticking out.

Ooooh, it did taste nice! Wasn’t there none left

over for the curates?

We were good in those days, in spite

of that rationing. You had to be good to get

anything off of grocers and suchlike. They had

a marvellous time of it, having it off in the

back stores.

Where are they now, the martins and perhaps?

All dead. No Edie, Frank, Johnnie, Doug, Maeve,

Dil, no, none of them.

Where do they all go? Where are they now? Where

am I now? How can all these things be here,

and not them? That would be a

curious caper, as he used to say

I asked for a job once, where are

your references, they said You’ve

got to have the right pieces of paper, you see,

at the time you want the

I want a jobbies

It is very confusing, laughing

Laugh! Laugh,

laugh, I nearly died

We went round the halls

one night, lead in his pencil, more like a great

big His blood pressure was high, laugh,

you never saw anything like it! We

were in a box, boxes of chocolates, programmes,

as many cigarettes as you could eat. A very good

show but I know what he was after with his great

purple pen!

Like a lick of my seaside, he would say.

I would

In the first place there were too many

there, in the third it was neither here nor

there but underneath, where we all liked it,

underneath, pass me the deeoyleys, she would say,

just like that, pass — Good! That Ivy’s getting

it! It’s a change, give her the twitcher, House

Mother! Now she’s in trouble, bitch Ivy,

fat slummy greasy Ivy! Fatty Ivy chop, buy them

at the family butcher’s.

So what?

She’s giving us the benefit, again. Lovely,

have it off, let’s all see

Oh, she

threw her clothes over the dog!

Now the other

that’s it

Oh, I always enjoy this

bit, it reminds me of the old days when I was out

working…. How far now?

Oops!

They’re all off, all,

Hoorah!

Never with a dog, we went to the

Dogs’ Home to choose one but came away without one,

I couldn’t have kept it anyway

My new dress is stained with custard.

Who did that, now? It must have been that

Ivy, I know it was that Ivy! Cow!

Custard cow, taking no notice, getting her own back

because my tits are better than hers, custard cow,

cowardy custard cow. True love, blue

eyes, green, six foot if an inch, he was tall as

well with it, scrubber I was, the first, first

Listen to her!

No, doesn’t matter

~ ~ ~

Sioned Bowen age 89 marital status widow sight 50 % hearing 40 % touch 35 % taste 55 % smell 45 % movement 20 % CQ count 8 pathology contractures; diabetes mellitus; colonic diverticulitis; benign renal carcinoma; lesion of alimentary tract; paraplegia; among others.

… tasty

meat then

that house, the kitchen itself could seat

twenty of us, did at Christmas before we served them, it

was warmer than the servants’ hall, that word worries

me still, always hated to think of myself as a servant, he

didn’t, almost revelled in it, he did, knew his place and that

was a servant’s place, indeed this custard,

slop and greens, how can she, in that kitchen

there were great bowls we broke the eggs into for custard,

real custard, the arm you needed to beat that many would fell

an ox, two of us girls would take turn and turn about, some-

times my arm hurt so much that that kitchen

was so big twenty of us could the

mahogany cupboards, sets of drawers with brass handles, how

I hated brass, a waste to have brass to keep clean, but then

he would say it was good

my soul indeed,

what he was interested in was not my soul

the old sod

with his great stomach, the stomach he had on him

Why not, he said,

Because not, I told him

The stomach on him, he’d be round the

kitchen spooning out the leavings in the big oven trays,

laughing if Cook or anyone tried to stop him, dodging round

and knocking things over with his great stomach and fat