fork as I was taught to do as a child. It is
easy for Sarah to pick them up with one movement.
I am a tidy man. I have been called fastidious
by some. Betty had another word for it,
what was it? She hated my tidiness,
anyway. As one gets older it becomes more and more
difficult to control the ordin…. Now there’ll
be a fuss. Just over dropping a plate.
I noticed it first with spitting, for sometimes
I would spit when speaking. And not always when
I spoke with some vehemence, either. Sometimes
I would spit without any warning. Even without
there seeming to be any reason for it, too. I found
it disturbing, but it was as nothing compared with
what there was to come I found myself
not wanting to… not minding about spitting
when I spoke. Is that
worse? Sometimes I cannot worry about things
like that. Yet there is always a worse.
I have only to look at some of these poor old things
here to know that. I am not as bad
as some. I am lucky in that. I am always
more than ready to count my blessings.
Life has taught me at least that. I can at
least say that I was not a slow learner as regards life’s
lessons. As though anyone should
ask — the Song. She wants us to sing, as usual. Well,
singing is something I have always enjoyed. The music
teacher asked me to sing in his choir, outside school. It
was a church choir, in Haggerston. Not because of your
voice, he said, but because of your ear. You have perfect
pitch. It was something unusual about me others did not
have.
The joys of life continue strong
Throughout old age, however long:
If only we can cheerful stay
And brightly welcome every day.
Not what we’ve been, not what we’ll be,
What matters most is that we’re free:
The joys of life continue strong
Throughout old age, however long.
The most important thing to do
Is stay alive and see it through:
No matter if the future’s dim,
Just keep straight on and trust in Him:
For He knows best, and brings good cheer,
Oh, lucky us, that we are here!
The most important thing to do
Is stay alive and see it through!
There was word amongst the boys that
the music teacher was bent. I never saw it myself.
Work? I’m retired,
I’m not here to work. Though what she
calls work is not what I would call work.
Fancy goods, fancy goods. She
thinks she’s a pretty piece of Fancy goods!
Not my fault. I wasn’t on Fancy
goods last time. That is a relief,
she can’t blame me.
Relief.
Crêpe paper.
Crêpe? Crêpe, crêpe, what a word.
crêpe.
Crêpe.
Reason, I have always believed in reason. It
was only necessary to be reasonable to be saved.
But I have found many in my time
who have disagreed. It is
not important.
Ah, now what does she want me to do tonight?
Good that she relies on me, that she –
Pour about a quarter
into these empty ones. How many
empty ones? Several dozen. I see. What is
it in the bottles? No colour, like water. Even
when I open one I shall not necessarily know, since
my sense of smell is not — Yes, I understand. What’s
it say on the labels? BOAKA, BOAKA? Can’t
understand that.
No, I’ll be very careful. I haven’t let you down
yet, have I?
What’s she going to give her to do?
Nosy. I should mind my own. But she’s
got bottles, too. Little bottles. They look snug
in their little cardboard compartments.
Messy. Glad I
haven’t got a messy job. She’ll get all
messy doing that. I shan’t, just pouring.
I am a very careful pourer. That’s why she
chooses me to do these special jobs.
Let us apply reason to this job. If I stand a line
of empty bottles up, with a line of full ones in
front of them…. No, that wouldn’t be
very efficient because I’d have to keep moving the
full ones anyway. Try again.
If I fill the empty
ones a quarter-full with water, then I can pour
from three full ones to top it up. Yes. A dozen
at a time might be a suitable number to — Now
what’s she want? No, Sarah, you know
I haven’t got a cigarette. Disturbing my
reasonable deliberations. Now then, let’s try
filling a dozen empties a quarter-full with
water. When Sarah’s finished at the sink.
Line the dozen up, and a dozen full in front, and
pour… yes, a quarter each from three full
ones and I’ve got a finished
one. But what does she want me to do about
the corks? Does she want them corked? I haven’t
enough corks to go round. Still, that’s her problem.
She’d have told me if she’d wanted them corked. Now
another — no, wait a minute, mate, here’s a better
way. If you pour water from three of the quarter–
filled empties into the three you quarter-emptied–
better still if you’d filled the empties right to
the top with water, but for one or two. Then you
could have…. That’s it, Charlie
boy, you’ve got a scheme now. It’s all sewn up. Off
you go, back to the sink for more water.
Easy now. Filling and pouring. Straightforward
for a careful person with at least some intelligence.
Like I am. Straightforward. I can do it
without thinking after a short while. Even might get
to like it without too much trouble. Same as during
the War. Soon learnt to get on with it and
like it. Got out of being sent on one draft
because I was the aerodrome pianist, but couldn’t
dodge the second one. The first one I actually
left Dover aerodrome and was at Walmer
preparatory for leaving for the Front. But the
officer at Dover rang up and said Have you got
Edwards there? And they said Yes, he’s doing a
good job clerking. Well, he’ll do a better job
playing the Joanna here, he said, send him back
at once. So I went back in a staff car. Just
as we arrived there was a general alert throughout
the whole Dover Patrol and everyone leapt about.
Either bombs or shells were exploding as we drove
across the approach roads. But no one got hurt.
It was remarkable like that. So I was back to
organising socials and dances and concerts. By
the end of ’15 I was pianist and leader of an eight–
piece. The personnel changed, of course, as people
got drafted, but somehow our officer always avoided
sending me until the autumn of ’16, when I had to go.
But the year and a bit I was there stood me in good
stead. If it hadn’t been for the experience I got
then I don’t think I would have become a pro after